CNN has this totally obnoxius commercial where they say how they are “Taking global weather forecasting by storm!”, it’s some big campaign they are launching now, but that’s not my problem.
The problem is the opening text: “Weather… there is no force of nature that is as hard to predict!”
WTF?!?! These people have obviously not heard of earthquakes, evolution and all the other things covered by the very loose term: “forces of nature”. Someone even suggested to me that women were far more unpredictable, and no one doubts they are a force!
I used to make a living writing empty text like that and it’s just the sloppiest work I’ve seen in a long time. Is it really THAT hard to find some vaguely sensible, yet over the top, statements to make about the weather?
I’ll give myself 25 seconds, and I’m hungover:
“The weather. It’s what shapes us, what holds us back and pushes us forward at the same time, it is truly a force of nature! It’s what defines the earths regions, it’s cultures… bla bla bla etc.”
At least it doesn’t sound like some idiot knocked it up while sitting at home in his underwear on a sunday morning, even though it was.
When I first actually paid attention to these things, my first thought was that we Americans will find any dialogue, no matter how disgusting, acceptable if it’s spoken by a Brit.
See, I thought this one was kind of clever and funny the first time I saw it. Of course, it’s based on the old snappy comeback “Does a bear [poop] in the woods?” My aunt uses that one all the time, which is why I found the commercial amusing.
Any cell phone commerical, on television or radio, that connects having a cell phone to a relationship with a person. And, unfortunately, it seems they all have this type of commerical.
“My last relationship just had so much static!”
“The next time I commit, it’ll be on my time”
“No matter how I tried, I couldn’t communicate in my last relationship.”
Blah, blah, blah… SHUT UP! It’s a God damned phone! And furthermore, it’s not even clever anymore! It wasn’t super clever to begin with, but now from the first time you hear the word “relationship” or “communicate” in a commerical, you already know they’re referring to cell phones and not relationships, so why keep beating this dead horse?
I have one commercial I don’t hate, I just find it somewhat disconcerting.
The new Guinness commercial, the one with the guy flying an airplane through a canyon. I just think it’s weird that a company selling alcohol is advertising that it’s all right to operate a motorized vehicle when you’re so wasted you’re hallucinating.
Also, someone mentioned that things like dandruff commercials, etc. are annoying because it makes you feel sub-human if you’re afflicted with a few flakes. Actually, that’s exactly what they’re doing and, studies show, it works. I don’t have the exact numbers here, but research has shown that around 20% more of the population are concerned with dandruff than actually have it.
The car ads featuring Batman talking about the Onstar system. Batman does not need your help, he is Batman, he does not need directions, he never locks his keys in the car and the Batmobile does not need to be tracked from space. He is Batman, a friggin superhero.
On a related note, he also does not go to McDonald’s for drive-thru.
The one for Verizon where they’re playing “I’ve Got A New Attitude” in the background which is bad enough, but it features this woman strolling along and she buys a hideous, I mean butt ugly blue furry vest and she’s parading around like she’s wearing a diamond tiara at the ball when she looks like a total idiot wearing a smelly ugly blue furry vest.
Jamie Lee Curtis and her damn cellular phone commercials. Enough already.
A commercial we have playing here for “comedy” radio featuring a numbnuts pleading with viewers to start listening to the sparkling comedy morning show or his betters are going to hack off another of his body parts. So far he’s lost a testicle, ear, and I think finger. ha ha, really funny. Go ahead and kill him already, I don’t care.
This probably doesn’t fit here, but does anyone beside me notice in most commercials featuring food, cooking, and cleaning products, the upper middle class room the action takes place in always features a huge, beautiful, expensive flower arrangement? I don’t know anyone who routinely orders a hundred dollar centerpiece to perk up their decor. (The only knockout flowers I’ve ever seen in peoples houses are the flowers they bring home from weddings and funerals!)
Ok, first off, I can’t stand the pepsi commercials. They always seem to put down coke without any reason (i.e. the einstien commerical) and they get dumber as they go along.
I can’t stand that Matthew Lesko guy!! Shylock hit the nail right on the head. That guy is SOOOOOOO anoying. And have you ever noticed that the camera isn’t straight and he NEVER has different clothes on?? MANNNNNN he urks me.
The chip commerical (you know the one w/ the tennis court and the not-all-there model?) at first I thought it was funny, but now its like "WHY WOULD ANYONE PUT CHIPS IN A TENNIS BALL SHOOTER AND THEN TRY AND CATCH THEM IN THEIR MOUTH??!?!?!? ughhh
As far as comercials in general, I hate those little tiny words at the bottom of the screen that say valid only with… etc. Can anyone actually READ that?? commericals like that reallly piss me off.
Finally, that crack about the cottonelle lady had me laughing for a while! I can’t stand that comerical, I really don’t want to watch some piece of paper talk to me for thirty seconds on why I should use it to wipe myself.
I can’t think of any others right now, but I will be back.
wo … didn’t feel right when I was typing it … after all, everyone knows it is Sam Subaru? And it would be nice to bring him by, then we could ask him Why? (wouldn’t the folks whose tech. documents I have edited love this?)
Mobo, have you actually seen a NEW Joe Isuzu (!) commercial? I’ve seen a couple of the old ones on TVLand.
BTW - the chips/tennis commercial - I think what happens is very appropriate, now, can we put some of the morons who write the commercials cited in this thread in front of that chip throwing tennis ball machine?
Ok the commercial that I just want to throw my remote at and my couch, and anything else that is near me…is that damn Taco Bell commercial…you are probably wondering which ones…well…ALL OF THEM! Damn them all to hell…even the dog! the end!
How about the napkin commercial with that fat little boy stuffing chicken into his gaping maw? Of course he misses that sucking hole and gets BBQ sauce ALL OVER HIS ENTIRE BODY! One skimpy napkin can’t control the carnage so, whhippp, over the shoulder it goes. Stuff more chicken. Fling more napkins. There’s a pile of grease saturated napkins piled in the middle of the room. Probably crushing the family dog for all I know.
Out comes SUPER-NAPKIN, and our cute little glutton can wolf down entire carcasses and still scrape the detritus from his face ALL IN ONE WIPE!
Gahhh! Feed him from a trough in the yard and hose him down afterward. Or give him a freaking salad.
I’ve never, ever heard of anyone who thinks the Pepsi girl is cute or entertaining. The salient question seems to be “Why do they still run the commercials?” I mean, when the “New Coke” came out, it was maybe 3 to 1 against, and they brought back old Coke within a matter of weeks. With this little Pepsi succubus, it’s gotta be at least 99 to 1 against, but she’s still around. Does she possess mind-control powers over the Pepsi ad executives? Or are we to the point where even if everyone initially hates something, the ad agencies know that if they saturate the airwaves with enough of it for a long enough time, people will start to relent and “enjoy” it?
By the way, for sheer amateurish badness, I challenge any commercial on any TV station anywhere to top the Conn’s Potato Chips commercials (a local brand in Central Ohio).
“You have my word on it”. I was actually just the other day thinking about starting a thread on how much I hate his commercials. Him and that stupid horrible fake accent tarot card reading hemmorroid already mentioned.
Question: Dionne Warwick’s Psychic friends Network went bankrupt right? and that had to be the most ambitious attempt at psychic phone scamming to date. Why do these people keep trying? Could they possibly be making any money?
BTW, let me add to this rant on irritating psychics commercials, Kenny Kingston I think was his name who would thank spirits right in the middle of his rap. “thank you spirit”. :wally:
So, I think the psychics commercials have to be among the ones that annoy me the most.
Actually I hate most commercials. There are so many to really hate. Oh I got one: the Welch’s Grape juice commercials with the most cutest wootest wittle itty bitty kids that you just want to club. “Something happens when you drink Welch’s grape juice. Your lips go smack”. How low can you go?
Every commercial ever produced to promote the sales of “Mentos”. ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH!
Mentos actually do produce some delicious mints, but their commercials are beneath contempt. If they were to air a commercial where whoever is responsible for the “Freshmaker” campaign was tarred and feathered, his house napalmed, his friends and family deported and the ground sown with salt, I might be talked into purchasing a roll of Mentos within a decade or so. I might.
My vote would have to go for those Anne Murray commercials.
They run that ad on Cartoon Network 24/7.
I mean, who is actually BUYING this album? I’d like to know!
And why are they trying to target Cartoon Network viewers?
I swear, the next time I see that commercial, I’m gonna blast my TV into a million bits!
Has anyone seen the Martha Stewart ads for her line of sheets and towels and crap for Kmart?
Well, we get to see her rolling around half-naked in bed, wrapped enticingly in towels…and we even get to see her in a slip.
She is not an unattractive woman, but…I just don’t want to imagine her naked. My first reaction to that commercial was “AUGH”! There’s just something so anti-sexual about her.
