What is it with cats and physics? All cats seem to be fascinated with knocking things off ledges.
Mine sure likes shoving things off desks, tables, etc. We think she just has some neurosis about objects on flat surfaces. 
Is it just me, or can cats adjust their local gravity to exert extra pressure on full bladders, tender breasts, etc.?
Simba is a feline paper shredder. He accomplishes this while glaring at me as if to say “Chase me. Go ahead. Make my day”. Depending on what document/mail/book/magazine is getting the hell shredded out of it, I sometimes ignore him which causes an amplification of the shredding/tearing and general mayhem. What he really wants is attention. He who must be obeyed. This is when he is known as “Simba-Bin-Laden”, the terrorist kitty.
When he is not being a butt-head, he is known as “Sweet Baby Jesus Simba”.
“Time to get some attention! Let’s just nudge this…nudge…nudge…bingo!”
Being woken in the wee hours of the morning with a cat licking one’s eyelids - that is annoying.
Well, some of the things that annoy me have already been mentioned - like the licking… “Sluuuuuurp…Sluuuuuurp…” and “Feed me now…meow meow…!” only to look at her bowl and walk away.
I’ll tell you what else I can do without - she watches me masturbate. I mean really watches. She hops on the dresser and stares at me. I usually just ignore her, but there are times when it distracts me enough that I have to get up from my bed and kick her out of my room. :smack: silly cat…
Look, this is probably the closest thing she’ll ever get to sexual activity. I’m assuming that you’ve had her spayed. Why should you deprive her of this little innocent ( ) pleasure? If you were really into it, you shouldn’t be distracted.
So letting *me *watch is out of the question?
We need to set up a Skype conference call…STAT!
Yes, she is spayed. Oh I suppose it shouldn’t matter to me…:dubious:
I know what you mean though, in all seriousness. Its just that…cold, mildly curious stare that cats seem to have when they are interested enough in something to intently watch it but not interested enough to interact. They just…keep staring and don’t move. Its unnerving when you’re trying to get your freak on.
My cat decides when I should get up, usually around 5am to give her a snack. She paws (claws) at my face, and if I fail to respond, she will try to lick my ear – inside, because she has found she likes my earwax.
Yes, sorry, it’s out of the question. Unless, you die and come back as another cat that I adopt who likes to…watch 
Haha…ummm…no.
Yes, exactly. Unnerving is the right word. I’m glad that someone understands. I mean having an audience can be a turn on…but it has to be the right kind of audience…and I’m not into…pussy…err…cats.
Eww! My kitten likes to climb onto my back, purring like a motorboat, when I read in my bed (okay so far, enjoyable, warm, purring). But its not enough for him. Then he starts to nuzzle my earlobes…okay, it tickles, after a time its like “okay kitty, stop that!”…but when he starts actually nibbling on my earlobes is when he gets tossed from the Bedroom Of Eden.
I used to have a dog that would sneak into my room while I was, erm, preoccupied with a member of the opposite sex, and God forbid I would be on top or I would get a cold nose in the taint. And one time a lick there. Talk about ruining the mood. Then when I realized I needed to lock him out for these sessions, he would whine and paw at the door for the duration of the titanic struggle. Good times.
They record and upload far too many videos.
Mine goes out in the fenced in yard. Usually he sits on the deck watching the birds and squirrels (has never even tried to catch one), but too often he takes a little stroll and seems to disappear into thin air. I go out and call him and search and call him and search and call him…He thinks it’s amusing to crouch out of sight watching me get all frustrated. Now I just take out a box of kitty kibbles and shake it, and if he’s hungry he’ll come out of hiding. If not, the ultimate weapon: take the laptop out in the yard and play ‘cat sounds’ - he comes running like the wind to see the ‘strange cat’ on his property. Dope.
They kill robins, and there are fewer and fewer around here each summer as it is.
I am going to bed now to test some of these theories…
The cat we had in the Sixties, Archie, didn’t annoy us. He would go out and lie in the middle of our street, a narrow old street that must have been laid out in the late nineteenth century. This was his street–he was Big Cheese of the neighborhood. So he annoyed countless drivers who had to pull around His Feline Majesty to continue down the street. 
DH and I tend to eject the cat from the bedroom for, ahem, intimate activities. Neither of us wants to be watched. 