~Amber-Skye~, what do you like in a girl?
abs, or any of you men, what constitutes a “fantastic ass?”
Boris B,
What are your interests and where have you been looking?? 
You know what I really want in a girl?
Me.
Once again, a perfectly good thread ruined by all the smart and eloquent people getting to it and saying all the good things before I got my chance 
but to make a point about physical attractiveness… yes, it’s definitely true that physical attraction is incredibly important. And it’s also true that most “sensitive” guys, primarily due to feelings of guilt at being what they perceive as superficial, will try to downplay the extent to which looks are important to them. But, imho, most women have somewhat skewed ideas about what men do and do not find physically attractive. At least for me, the vast majority of women are reasonably attractive. I am not only attracted to women who look like Julia Roberts, nor am I only attracted to women who are thin bordering on unhealthy, which seems to be an image that most women have…
So, if a woman is not a lot overweight, does not have huge gaping open wounds, and is not one of the unlucky but extremely rare women who are truly and actively physically _un_attractive, well, I’ll look at her and think to myself “huh, she’s pretty cute”. And from there, what matters is personality, brains, etc. And it also bears mentioning that the more you respect and like someone, and the more you enjoy their company, the more attractive they appear to you.
Let’s put it this way: if there were two women who I met, one of whom was movie-star attractive, and one of whom was more or less ordinary looking, and someone pointed out the ordinary-looking one and said “she’s one of the most brilliant computer programmers I’ve ever met, is ranked in the top 20 in Hearts on the internet gaming zone, won Ben Stein’s Money, and loves to play racquetball”, there’s no question at all about who I’d pursue…
Things I find attractive in women:
-Above all else, intelligence… if I talk to the woman and she says things that really give me pause and make me look at things in new ways, whatever the topic, that is so attractive
-When I meet a woman who shares some of my interests and hobbies, I am almost always at least somewhat intrigued… the problem is that most of my hobbies are heavily male dominated 
(Does that mean that all I have to do is just show up at, say, a garden show, and the women would be throwing themselves at me?)
-Women who are actively good at sports, ie, don’t “throw like a girl”, are very attractive
-Women who are competitive and just a touch too argumentative are very attractive
-This is perhaps a tad disturbing, but… whenever I hear of a woman who has been treated really badly by men in the past, it piques my interest… (ie, the Claire Danes character from The Rainmaker). Why? I think it’s because I grew up in a liberal household and went to a liberal college, so one of the things that was drummed in to me from a very young age is that one does not hit a woman. (tangent: one should not hit anyone, but that’s neither here nor there.) So here I am, all grown up, Mr. Non-Wife-Beater, and feeling pretty good about it, but does any woman ever come up to me and say “wow, I look deep into your eyes and see that you would never get drunk and slap me around… take me!!!”? No, of course not. And in fact, there’s at least somewhat of a stereotype (“Smart Women, Foolish Choices” and all that) that I would be better off, in the attracting-women department, if I wasn’t such a nice guy. So that makes me want to find a woman who will appreciate my non-abusive (and, I hope, actively supportive and caring) nature, and presumably, such a woman would be one who had had bad experiences in the past.
-Oh, and if she’s short, wears glasses, and has long straight black hair, well, that’s just extra chili on the cheese fries…
I have found that the art of compromise is key. I am looking for a well-reasoned, rational person who may not always agree with my viewpoints but will be able to offer and be happy with the middle ground. It is the art of working towards mutual happiness that will make a relationship work over time.
Attractiveness and beauty are way over-emphasized in American culture. For myself, if you put me in a room with a woman I find to be stunniningly beautiful (even one that is beautiful to my own particular standards,) and I talk to her for five minutes, I can generally tell what type of person lives inside of her. If she is self-absorbed and/or materialistically inclined, then my interest will fade rapidly. The most pshyically appealing women in the world actually become physically repugnant to me if their personalities are ugly.
But, put me in the same room with an average-looking woman, who engages my line of conversation with warmth and humor, all the while exhibiting independent thought, and I will start to see her as physically and truly beuatiful.
What can I say? The soul counts. . .But, in this country we seen to be forgetting that.
BING! BING! BING! We have a winner!
This is a big one for me. I’m completely taken by women who aren’t intimidated by people & who are outspoken.
Aaaaah! That’s what sets off my Psycho-meter. In my experience, the worse they were treated, the more screwed up and off-kilter the woman is.
Ok, where have you men that like argumentative, competitive women been all of my life?
Like, wow!!! If I were a guy??? I think I’d like a girl who didn’t go out of her way to make sure she was doing everything for the sake of making sure a guy liked her!!! But that’s just my opinion!!! I’d want a girl with her own personality!!! And stuff!!!
I’d better can it or someone’ll get all on me about “being nice to the new people” again.
[note: I am not now and have never been a guy. Nor have I ever dotted my "i"s with little hearts or smiley-faces.]
On the tube yesterday the guy with the number three radio station in the US said that guys don’t listen to what a woman says until they see her naked. Is this true?
Come on! You might as well ask us to describe the sublime beauty of an autumn sunset, or the scent of a freshly picked rose, or the warmth of a new puppy, or… OK, I’ll stop now.
Seriously, though, Amber, I think that men are being a bit disingenuous when they say that physical attraction is not that important. As a few people have already pointed out, it is. For me, it’s not so much that a woman needs to meet a particular ideal as much as it is that I have to be able to see myself conceivably having sex with them. I know how blunt that sounds, but you wanted honesty, and that’s what men think about. I mean, if I see a woman that I find physically attractive, I don’t automatically think, “I’d like some of that,” or “You want fries with that shake, baby?” :rolleyes: , but I am aware of my libido stirring around in the back of my brain. I once saw a comedian on TV (his name escapes me now) who said that if women really knew what was going on in the brains of men, they would never stop slapping us. Not too far from the truth.
Having said that, however, physical attraction is kind of a nebulous thing for me. I agree with MaxTheVool, in that there isn’t any particular type (blond/brunette/redhead, tall/short, petite/large, etc.) that I am attracted to, I just kind of know when I see one. I generally go for women that are physically fit, since I enjoy physical activities like mountain biking or hiking, but everything else just depends on… well, it just depends. And a rotten personality can make me forget all about how “fantastic” her ass or whatever is. I might hang on a little while longer if the sex is good (sorry, more honesty), but the relationship is basically stillborn at that point.
And unlike physical traits, I have specific traits that I look for in a woman’s personality. Let’s see… Honesty and loyalty are a given. Intelligence is also way, way up there. I like women that can at least hold their own in a debate or a discussion, and don’t play dumb because they think stupid = feminine = pretty. God I hate that. Mental toughness is good; I don’t like it when women fly off the handle at truly innoccuous comments or get hysterical over parking tickets and such. She has to love dogs. She has to have a job. NO smokers, please. I guess that’s about it. It’s kind of a laundry list, but I hope it helps.
You know, I was going to reply to this, but everyone else has already taken all the good answers.
Amber…a penis.
HUGS!
Sqrl
While I am attracted to some extent by looks, I find that I can’t really tell what someone looks like until I’ve known them a bit. I’ve met some women which I initially thought beautiful, but after spending a bit of time with them, my ardor dampened considerably. Conversely, I’ve met some women with plain appearances who ended up being some of the hottest people I know (and lust after). Personality really is what it’s about unless one is simply looking for a one night stand.
As far as what attracts me…
I’d say those who are comfortable with being who they are. I’m also attracted to those who have traits which I wish to have or enhance within myself.
I’ve found that as I get older, the range of women I consider attractive has broadened considerably. Working to open one’s own mind results in a world which seems more open with possibilities as well.
Painfully young, thin, big-breasted sluts that enjoy housework, cooking and sports and have no interest at all in “communicating”.
And I know some will protest, but if you gave the guy a choice between the above and a 35 year old woman with a flabby ass and a bit of a gut, but beautiful eyes and a confident sexuality, along with brains, a sense of humor, and opinions, they’ll take #1 9 out of 10 times.
Get help. Quick.
Give me maturity, personality, humour and maybe a little flesh over “fuck 'er too hard & she’ll break” ANY day
Stoidela,
You postulated that 9 out of 10 men prefer
‘a painfully young, thin, big-breasted sluts that enjoy housework, cooking and sports and have no interest at all in “communicating”’
over
‘a 35 year old woman with a flabby ass and a bit of a gut, but beautiful eyes and a confident sexuality, along with brains, a sense of humor, and opinions’.
It’s true (as I said earlier) that in a disco, almost all men will go for physical attractiveness.
I can agree that many men would find option 1 above attractive. There may well be some of us chaps (not me!) who would marry her, invite friends round and just treat her as a doormat (depressing thought).
But I do hope that the intelligent ones would go for number 2.
Errrmm (clears throat nervously) number 2’s not you,is it?
this post may well prove that men don’t understand women
Do you think women with any of these qualities would be interested in you?
men like women with big boobs cause men see better than they think.
Which is why, porcupine, many such women are interested in me…that describes most of my friends.
immagurl
stoid