Wait a minute. You guys can actually hear in a nightclub?
95% of my conversations consisted of “what?” until I gave up on trying to talk to someone.
Oh damn. I finally figured it out.
Barney
I’ve never had to say anything. I make it a point to position myself where I can be seen by the most people. Then between sips of my drink, I casually lick my eyebrows.
No, no. no. find something in common first. Try this:
Do you like chocolate cake?.
Yes
So do I, let’s fuck.
It’s an intentional tactic and quite innocent. This isn’t a stalker move that ever put anyone off.
I don’t really doubt you - I just think it’s terrible advice for someone who is already struggling with striking up a conversation with someone in a bar. A naturally charismatic/charming/friendly/talkative person could do this rather easily. A shy/awkward/zero-confidence/struggles with small talk person is likely to stare too much, drag it on too long, follow at the wrong time, corner her in an awkward spot, flub the opening line (“I can’t let you leave until I talk to you” can come across as threatening…can’t let me leave?!?!) or otherwise make a woman feel really, really unsafe.
I get the impression you aren’t an amateur. Someone asking the questions in the OP is. It may work for you, but I think for the OP following up “Hi” with “I’m [name], how are you?” is better advice!
I don’t think this is useful advice. I’m not much good at small talk but as I’ve become more conscious of it and about it and have watched others do it I have noticed that it isn’t some sort of magical inexplicable manner and it is specific techniques. Those who are good at it may well not even know they are using specific techniques, but they are. I have colleagues that I have known for a long time and who are known as personable and good in a social situation and having watched them over a period, they actually have a certain limited repertoire of things they say and do.
If starting and continuing a conversation is not something that comes easily to you, doing it in a club when it’s noisy and you are nervous and self conscious is near impossible. If you learn some specific open ended conversation starter lines that you know well and which you will even be able to remember under pressure, you will be streets ahead.
Yeah…most clubs are too loud to hear, anyway.
This. Additional (female here): “what are you drinking.” (I drink an oddly colored drink.) Once I had “WHY are you drinking?” which was unusual and caught me off guard and was interesting to discuss. Commenting on the current feed of whatever is currently on the bar’s/club’s tv: “Wow, did you see that catch/kick/move/poker bid/dance move/remember when this came out? etc.” Then you weasel your way into what band/tv shows/movies you like and whatnot.
I have to say my favorite post in this thread is the one about tessellation - You KNOW I went to You Tube to look for the MathNet song and it wasn’t there. IT WASN’T THERE! :mad: ::gives internet the finger::
You mean this one? I think your problem was that it was part of Square One TV, not Mathnet. Mathnet was another segment of Square One.
Uh…as to the OP, I wouldn’t recommend the above as a starting line.
I recommend immediately engaging in a philosophical debate about whether or not we have free will. Try the following: “If we act on our beliefs, but we are not in direct control of what we do and do not believe, are we really in control of our own actions?” It won’t work every time, but if you find someone who actually finds philosophy interesting and responds to your question positively, you’re gonna have a great time!
Remember too that sometimes the connection just isn’t there. One time, I led off by asking this girl if she had read any good books lately, and she just called me a trollop.
I’m guessing her answer wasn’t “Dictionary”?
Go for it, mate. Library girls are perverted.
In Me, Myself & Irene, the Jim Carey character’s come-on lines consisted of, in their entirety:
- “So, where are you from?”
- “Do you swallow?”
Michael Bloomberg said something that like. Before he was NYC Mayor he used to proposition women pretty aggressively. “Don’t you get slapped a lot?” someone asked.
“Yeah,” he said. “But I get laid a lot, too.”
I’ve used that line a lot too. I’m surprised how many women read Dumas, and yet can’t even pronounce his name right.
Are you sure they’re not just describing themselves to you?
This is what I usually do in the clubs i go to! usually followed by:
How exactly does a 20 dollar boll sound compared to a fifty? Might save me some money here.
LOL - Thanks! It’s just as great as I remember.
A pick up line that I still laugh over…once someone asked me if I wanted to go in halves on a baby. It didn’t work, but, geeze, its been almost 10 years and I’m sitting here giggling over it again.
The “wanna fuck” line does work. Once some girlfriends and I were at a club on a Marine base, all dressed up and wanting to meet a hawt guy. We were only half way through our first drinks when this guy staggered up to us, leered and asked “do any of you lovely ladies want to have a sleezy one night stand with a drunk Marine?” Two of us grabbed our drinks, getting ready to fling them, but the other girl grabbed her purse, stood up and said “I’d love to” and off they went.