I know. The rabbi who officiated at our wedding said he didn’t want anyone having bare shoulders on the bima (equivalent of “at the altar” for Jews). I managed to find a bridal gown and bridesmaid dresses with sleeves, so I know it is possible. But I did get strange looks going into bridal shops saying “no sleeveless gowns”- it eliminated about 75% of what was available, and probably made the people in the shops class me as “raving religious loony.” (I told them about the officiant so they wouldn’t waste both of our time trying to convince me to try a sleeveless or strapless dress)
I don’t like a head table at a wedding. I don’t like the idea that a certain group of people sits at the front of the room, on a raised platform, looking down upon their guests as if the guests were lowly subjects. They aren’t approachable, and it’s a little too elitist for me. If people want to go give their respects to the bride and groom, they have to either mount stairs or stand looking up at them. Reminds me of trying to talk to a pharmacist…
At my wedding two (and a half!) years ago, I refused to have a head table. I didn’t feel the need to be a “princess” anyway. I’m not any better than anyone else at the party. I’m just the same ol’ Butterfly I’ve always been. 
My husband and I didn’t want to do the cake smashing thing either. Instead, we each held up a piece of cake to the other for a nibble (photo op). I’d already paid the big bucks for my makeup to be professionally applied, and I wanted to get my money’s worth.
We had a buffet of high-end munchies (bite-sized beef wellington and such).
We had an open bar with the stipulation that we didn’t want guests to be able to get shots for free (because that will almost always lead to the annoying-too-drunk guest). We ended up buying one round of shots in celebration for the attendees instead.
No receiving line. Only those who wanted to do so gave toasts (we got many).
Our wedding was in Vegas. Guests got there at their own expense. We still get rave reviews of our wedding and the reception.
[QUOTE=Count Blucher]
If this is the only time you speak to them then they need to learn some manners! My husband and I took great care to ensure that we spent some time at every table, even if it was just for a few minutes.
:eek: :eek: :eek:
That is so gauche, so tacky, so horrible I have trouble actually believing it. Dear lord, were these people raised by ATMs?
Are you kidding? The only way to survive a wedding is to be thoroughly anesthetized. If you’ve had enough free booze, even the garter thing becomes cute rather than revolting.
My cousin just got married, and everything else was right - short, sweet ceremony, the bridesmaids were in specially purchased but quite attractive dresses, no chicken dance - but they did the goddamn garter thing. Damn, Alexis. I thought you were a little more classy than that. There goes the grooms head up the dress, with the DJ’s commentary on how he was seeing what he was going to get. Come on, it’s the twenty-first century. Like he hasn’t given her oral sex yet? This isn’t Saudi Friggin’ Arabia. The garter thing isn’t even naughty anymore, it’s just tacky and stupid.
Fortunately, I was already three G&Ts into the evening, so I managed to smile. The only problem is people who can’t handle their liquor. That goes for you, Mr. Best Man who commented on the mother of the bride’s “titties”. Same to you, fifty-year-old woman who hit on me. Still, though - a couple bad drunks is the price you pay for everyone else being able to numb themselves to all the family togetherness.
There was a dollar dance, too. And more people wanted to dance with the bride than the groom; I almost got up to pay a dollar and foist myself upon him, but I hate dancing.
When somebody does something that gauche, the polite thing to do is ignore it and pretend it didn’t happen.
This sounds like my kind of wedding. Drop all the pretense about getting loved ones together, blah blah blah. Instead, be honest about what this event is really about: give us a bunch of stuff. Although this method doesn’t fill the deep need a surprising number of woman have to be a total bitch during the planning and execution of their unique ceremony that is just like every other wedding you have ever been to in your life. “At my wedding we had goldfish in little bowls on the table.” No one cares.
I’d prefer that everyone was dressed as a Kilingon or the cast of Lord of the Rings. At least that would mean something, instead of some cheesy “love is” quote picked out by the bride from a book of quotes and read by the fat cousin with a stutter in the unattractive bridesmaid gown.
With all this talk about booze, there’s the other side: people who have a cash bar where you pay for non-alcoholic drinks. $3 for a glass of juice? C’mon.
And there are still people in this day and age that encourage people to drink, and can get very hostile at a “no, thanks.” I no longer defend my non-drinking to anyone.
Things I Hate About Weddings (in no particular order):
Bridezilla
Ridiculous cost that could be put toward things that really matter in a marriage
Ugly formalwear
Buttinski parents
Gift requests
Shitty bands
Geriatric dance moves
Cake-in-the-puss
Large crowds that are invited to appease the parents
Showers
bachelor/bachelorette parties
The bridel shower was on the east coast, so all the bridesmaids went there from Wisconsin to accomidate the bride’s family. I would have been saying forget it when the shower moved location.
I would have handled the card problem in one of two ways. Give what I wanted for a gift or the way thay clearly states your displeasure. Buy a card at the place. Empty it on purchases for me. Give a blank card as the gift. Add this on the weddin card. Sorry I couldn’t get you everything asked for. Here’s the store card you wanted. In the future you will be able to finish your wish list by adding money to it.
Fair 'nuff.
This is another one that I agree with. We just sat at a regular table, like everybody else. Sweetheart tables are OK too, but we didn’t want to do that. The head table makes you more unapproachable, and that’s a bad thing. We wanted to talk to everyone and worked hard to make sure that we did. Having a regular table helped.
Many people don’t drink wine. Won’t somebody think of them?
Most people would rather just pay for a drink of what they like rather than get a free drink that’s something they don’t care for.
A dry wedding?!? This would be extremely odd, to say the least. I’ve never heard of such a thing. My crowd would have thought it some kind of sick joke. There would have been dozens of people calling the hotel to cancel their room reservations! People would be really put off by this. It would certainly be more disruptive than having a cash bar, which everyone expects anyway.
Another downside to trying to dictate how the bar will work: You’re probably going to get people leaving the weddng in search of drinks. Most hotels or function halls where weddings take place have more than one bar. Even if the bar in your room is closed, often times you can simply go out to the main bar or to the bar in the wedding next door and get booze. This would be an easy way to lose control of your guests.
We had a sweetheart table. It was really nice to have dinner “alone”, and gave us time to catch out breath.
A long head table isn’t even good for those sitting there. It’s hard to talk to other people when you’re not sitting across from everyone. Plus, nobody in the wedding party gets to eat with their dates. Their poor dates are out in the crowd with a bunch of people they probably don’t know.
Nicely said.
Not a bit. I tried to call her again later and spoke to her mother. She informed me I needed to learn to have some consideration for other people.
My mother in law was sure people were going to hate that we only offered beef and chicken at our wedding. At the time, it was relatively common to offer three choices, generally beef, chicken and fish. Where we had our wedding, the price per head was more if you offered three choices. She was all like, what if people want fish??? I told her they could feel free to go to Red Lobster then. Nobody seemed bothered by the lack of fish, btw.
She was also pissed because we got married during football season and it would be hard for her older (and favorite if you ask me) son, who works in college athletics, to attend. I told her it was fortunate then that I was marrying the younger son, who doesn’t work on the weekends.
She hates me.
Heaven forfend that you lose control of your guests!
If I ever get married, we’ll just slap shock collars on 'em. If they wander off as though their time was their own, ZAP! That’ll learn 'em.
And I’ve been to a dry wedding. Both bride and groom were in recovery. The people who took issue with the no-booze were SOs of the couple’s friends. Those of us who actually cared about the happy couple didn’t give one whit, and managed to enjoy ourselves anyway.
My numero uno, end all, be all gripe about weddings is:
When the wedding ceremony and reception are a LONG way apart. Nothing like having to drive 30+ miles from some tiny church in BFE(Walburg, TX) to a convention center in a larger, yet still BFE town (Belton, TX).
Weddings and receptions should be relatively close together in my opinion- as in, no more than 5 miles apart.
It seems to me that these are people you’re better off without. Be glad you learned about what they’re really like now, rather than at some point when you really need them to be understanding and emotionally generous with you.