[QUOTE=Debaser]
Finally, you posters that clearly hate weddings and don’t want to go to them: My advice to you is don’t go.
[/QUOTE]
That doesn’t work when you’re married. I don’t get to make that decision…but how I wish I did!
[QUOTE=pinkfreud]
This cakefighting thing really bugs me, too. I suppose it’s meant to seem playful, but when I have seen this done, there was usually some real hostility there. Gosh, if we’re going to have a public display of animosity between the bride and groom, why not give 'em encounter bats? It’s neater, and it doesn’t waste food.
[/QUOTE]
I’ve often wondered where this abomination came from.
When I was younger, the tradition was, IIRC, for the bride and groom to each feed the other a bite of the cake. How on earth did this turn into the bride and groom smashing cake into each others’ faces?
[QUOTE=madmonk28]
“At my wedding we had goldfish in little bowls on the table.” No one cares.
[/QUOTE]
Did you have shenanigans with the fish? Like a drunk swallowing them whole.
I await the mention of the wedding where all gifts are to be purchased on line and sent directly to the newlywed’s home. The couple’s wedding page will have hyperlinks to all the presents they want. You can send cash directly to their bank account using Pay Pal or electronic bank transfer for a fee.
[QUOTE=Debaser]
A dry wedding?!? This would be extremely odd, to say the least. I’ve never heard of such a thing. My crowd would have thought it some kind of sick joke. There would have been dozens of people calling the hotel to cancel their room reservations! People would be really put off by this. It would certainly be more disruptive than having a cash bar, which everyone expects anyway.
[/QUOTE]
I’ve been to a dry wedding. It was … an experience.
A cousin of mine found Jesus, and married a girl from a fundamentalist family. The reception was held in a hotel ballroom, with mainly guests from their church. Family obligations meant that some of my cousin’s family (including us) were invited. None of my immediate family wished we had been invited, but we went anyway, probably out of a sense of duty.
No alcohol of any kind was served. You had a choice of water or fruit punch to wash down the rubber chicken; and that was it. You were not allowed to buy something stronger from the hotel bar and bring it in. No music or dancing or anything fun–just four hours (yes–four hours!) of speeches from her family, talking about how they found Christ and were so happy that my cousin had also. All the speeches ended in a toast (with fruit punch, of course) to the happy Christian couple.
Afterwards, when my cousin and his bride left, all the guests waved them on their way, and headed for the parking lot. My family headed for the hotel’s bar. We needed to by that time.
[QUOTE=D_Odds]
That doesn’t work when you’re married. I don’t get to make that decision…but how I wish I did!
[/QUOTE]
Yeah, it’s like root canal or getting your car inspected. Another crappy thing you have to do, but don’t enjoy.
Doesn’t feeding each of a piece of cake sound like something Jackie Kennedy did, and the country copied it?
I think the abomination of smashing cake into each other’s faces happens more often presently, because of television shows. Everybody’s seen it on a bloopers show, so the idea hits them to try it as opposed to not thinking of it at that moment.
[QUOTE=Spoons]
I’ve been to a dry wedding. It was … an experience.
A cousin of mine found Jesus, and married a girl from a fundamentalist family. The reception was held in a hotel ballroom, with mainly guests from their church. Family obligations meant that some of my cousin’s family (including us) were invited. None of my immediate family wished we had been invited, but we went anyway, probably out of a sense of duty.
No alcohol of any kind was served. You had a choice of water or fruit punch to wash down the rubber chicken; and that was it. You were not allowed to buy something stronger from the hotel bar and bring it in. No music or dancing or anything fun–just four hours (yes–four hours!) of speeches from her family, talking about how they found Christ and were so happy that my cousin had also. All the speeches ended in a toast (with fruit punch, of course) to the happy Christian couple.
Afterwards, when my cousin and his bride left, all the guests waved them on their way, and headed for the parking lot. My family headed for the hotel’s bar. We needed to by that time.
[/QUOTE]
Good God how could you be there for four hours of witnessing. I would have left as soon as I got a clue that was going to happen.
[QUOTE=robby]
I’ve often wondered where this abomination came from.
When I was younger, the tradition was, IIRC, for the bride and groom to each feed the other a bite of the cake. How on earth did this turn into the bride and groom smashing cake into each others’ faces?
[/QUOTE]
The way I heard it from my mother (about the family friends who were getting divorced that I mentioned upthread) is that he was feeding her a bite of cake and accidentally smeared some on her face. She thought he did it on purpose, and smashed cake in his face to get back at him.
[QUOTE=Spoons]
I’ve been to a dry wedding. It was … an experience.
[/QUOTE]
It sounds to me like the problem with this wedding wasn’t the lack of alcohol. It was the lack of any kind of fun (including ways of having fun that don’t offend anyone, like having good music and being able to catch up with old friends and family members you don’t get to see very often.) The total lack of acceptance of many guests’ religious beliefs or lack thereof was also a problem. Talk about a great way to make people feel criticized!
I’d bet that, if there had been more overt celebration and less proselytizing, you wouldn’t have missed the wine so much.
[QUOTE=Debaser]
…
We had a mail bridal attendant on the brides side along with the bridesmaids…
[/QUOTE]
I’ve heard of mail-order-brides, but I had no idea you could mail-order bridal attendants too. How handy! 
[QUOTE=mchapman]
Having to go to them. Seriously. Weddings are about the most boring thing in the world to attend.
[/QUOTE]
Absolutely. I hate crowds. I hate drinking. I hate social situations. I hate having to dress up. I hate having to pretend I care. And I can’t even look forward to getting laid that night.
What is there to like about weddings?
[QUOTE=Scribble]
It sounds to me like the problem with this wedding wasn’t the lack of alcohol. It was the lack of any kind of fun (including ways of having fun that don’t offend anyone, like having good music and being able to catch up with old friends and family members you don’t get to see very often.) The total lack of acceptance of many guests’ religious beliefs or lack thereof was also a problem. Talk about a great way to make people feel criticized!
I’d bet that, if there had been more overt celebration and less proselytizing, you wouldn’t have missed the wine so much.
[/QUOTE]
Probably not, and I will admit that it was nice to catch up with a few relatives that I really only got to see at weddings and funerals.
But we suffered through, more, I think, out of a sense of duty and a wish for family harmony more than anything else. I will say that my aunt and uncle (the groom’s parents) seemed to be a bit uneasy about the whole fundamentalist thing, but they were happy that their (IMHO) somewhat misfit son had found a girl who wanted to marry him. So overall, they were happy.
As for the guests’ religious beliefs, in some ways it was understandable. Most of the guests–probably 80 percent–were either her fundamentalist family, or the couple’s friends from their fundamentalist church. I don’t recall any of the couple’s friends from their respective workplaces attending, unless they were religious. And our family, while not fundamentalist, did attend a mainstream (and some would say downright dull) Protestant church at Christmas, Easter, and some Sundays. So it is entirely likely that the couple didn’t feel that they were “forcing” their religion on anybody. Making it clear that it was an important part of their lives, yes; but nobody was asking our family, for example, if we had been saved. Indeed, there wasn’t much interaction between our family and the bride’s.
Still, it was the lack of what I’d consider to be a celebration of a happy time that made this one stand out. No music, no dancing, no alcohol. Just speeches on how everybody found Christ. :rolleyes:
[QUOTE=Hypno-Toad]
What is there to like about weddings?
[/QUOTE]
The option to respond “no” when you get the invitation?
[QUOTE=badbadrubberpiggy]
The option to respond “no” when you get the invitation?
[/QUOTE]
Ok, this really wasn’t meant to be snarky. I’m just seeing a lot of hate for an event that is supposed to be optional for most people. Unless you’re really close family or friends, it’s not hard to get out of going to most weddings.
I guess I just don’t understand why people who really hate weddings would even go. I’d hate to have someone at my wedding that obviously didn’t want to be there.
[QUOTE=Hypno-Toad]
Absolutely. I hate crowds. I hate drinking. I hate social situations. I hate having to dress up. I hate having to pretend I care. And I can’t even look forward to getting laid that night.
What is there to like about weddings?
[/QUOTE]
Clearly there’s nothing for you to like about weddings, but some of us don’t mind crowds, enjoy drinking, like social situations, don’t mind getting dressed up, and actually do care. And we bring dates so that we can look forward to getting laid that night.
[QUOTE=badbadrubberpiggy]
I guess I just don’t understand why people who really hate weddings would even go. I’d hate to have someone at my wedding that obviously didn’t want to be there.
[/QUOTE]
Because it really isn’t an option for a lot of people. In their 20’s, a lot of your friends are in the marrying stage of their life. I have no problem turning down an invite for someone I haven’t seen in 10 years. A friend of mine who I see frequently? Much harder unless I’ve got a real good reason.
[QUOTE=dalej42]
Because it really isn’t an option for a lot of people. In their 20’s, a lot of your friends are in the marrying stage of their life. I have no problem turning down an invite for someone I haven’t seen in 10 years. A friend of mine who I see frequently? Much harder unless I’ve got a real good reason.
[/QUOTE]
Yeah, like I said in my other post, sometimes you can’t get out of it.
It’s just that the hatred seems to be out of proportion for the amount of weddings you are really forced to go to. I am in my 20’s, and I’m still not even invited to that many weddings, let alone ones that I’m really obligated to go to.
[QUOTE=Lissa]
I’ve always pictured the bride in these grandiose productions as someone who would throw a glass of wine in their husband’s face if he dared to write them a poem for Valentine’s day rather than buy them some jewelery.
[/QUOTE]
I thought about this, and realized that if Mr. Neville did that, I’d throw a glass of wine (or something- why waste good wine?) in his face. Then I’d say, “OK, who are you and what have you done with Mr. Neville? Give me back the sweet-but-not-at-all-romantic geek I married!”
I’m much more likely to get a book of Superman comics for Valentine’s day than I am to get either jewelry or a poem that he wrote for me, but that’s fine with me.
[QUOTE=Spoons]
I’ve been to a dry wedding. It was … an experience.
A cousin of mine found Jesus, and married a girl from a fundamentalist family. The reception was held in a hotel ballroom, with mainly guests from their church. Family obligations meant that some of my cousin’s family (including us) were invited. None of my immediate family wished we had been invited, but we went anyway, probably out of a sense of duty.
No alcohol of any kind was served. You had a choice of water or fruit punch to wash down the rubber chicken; and that was it. You were not allowed to buy something stronger from the hotel bar and bring it in. No music or dancing or anything fun–just four hours (yes–four hours!) of speeches from her family, talking about how they found Christ and were so happy that my cousin had also. All the speeches ended in a toast (with fruit punch, of course) to the happy Christian couple.
Afterwards, when my cousin and his bride left, all the guests waved them on their way, and headed for the parking lot. My family headed for the hotel’s bar. We needed to by that time.
[/QUOTE]
I usually skip the ceremony and go for the reception, but in this case I’d have done the opposite.
[QUOTE=badbadrubberpiggy]
For those of you who say you hate all weddings, of any kind, why do you even go? Make up a legitimate sounding excuse (if you even feel you need one), and do something you enjoy.
[/QUOTE]
Because I’m not a fair-weather friend. About four hours ago, I sent off my RSVP for a friends wedding in November. This is my first non-family wedding, so I’ll be surrounded by people I like rather than am related to. So I may like this one. But even if I knew it would be the most tortuous hell imaginable, I would go. I don’t leave my friend hanging just because it’s not enjoyable for me. So I’m going to go, maybe have a decent time, and NEVER show that I’m having anything but the most enjoyable experience ever.
And Misnomer, you are correct. I’m was answering the OP about what* I * dislike about weddings.