I am not a toucher, it makes me very Uneasy when I am touched, so I usaully assume other people feel the way I do. A while back after a class where we had the chairs in a circle for a class discussion, We started putting the chairs back in rows, well my had brushes against the butt of another girl. I internally freaked, I didn’t know what to do. I decided to just not say anything? should I have?
This Halloween I was handing out candy and I accidently touched some costume kids chest (I couldn’t tell if it was a boy or girl), I am clumsy, and I think the kid moved forward as I was reaching down to put it in her/his basket. I didn’t know what to do the parents were right there, I wanted to go I AM NOT A MOLELESTOR. AHHH in that case should I have said anything and to who.
If it’s a stranger I just say, “Excuse me.” If it’s a friend of mine I just say something silly like, “Sorry 'bout that. Didn’t mean to grab your ass.” As long as you’re not purposely groping at people it’s not a big deal.
I wouldn’t sweat it. Just saying “Oh, excuse me” should be enough. Don’t make more out of it than what it really is.
I don’t mind if someone accidentally bumps into me. I might think they’re rude if they don’t say “excuse me,” but other than that, I don’t give it a second thought.
My husband & I were sitting on a bench having dinner out on my parent’s patio. A good family friend is sitting on a chair next to our bench. Mind you, this friend is my parent’s age, a successful lawyer, known him since I was little, etc.
Anyway, I am on the end, and stand up to get a drink or something. My end of the bench lifts up suddenly and my husband loses his balance. He puts his hand out to stop himself from falling, and puts it where? Yep, you guessed it, right in Mitch’s crotch. Firmly.
They both nearly died of embarrassment. Remember that scene in Planes, Trains & Automobiles? Oh, hey, how 'bout those Bears? Helluva team, helluva team.
I can’t understand why people feel the need to say “excuse me” or “I’m sorry” just because they brush past me in the supermarket. I could understand if they ran over my foot with their shopping cart, but just because they brushed past me?
Maybe it helps them feel better in case they have some bubble bursting phobia, but personally, I don’t need to hear an apology unless you’ve actually done me some harm or inconvenience.
I always give a weird little instinctive “Whoops”…in a high pitched childlike voice. I’m not sure where it comes from and it always leaves me feeling slightly embarrased.
[Slightly off topic] I excused my self to pass by a woman standing in the aisle of my local drugstore. She backed up to let me by and said “You’re welcome”. Does anyone else find that odd? I can see how she would look upon her action of stepping backs as deserving a “thank you”, to which her response would have been the “you’re welcome”…it just felt weird the way it happened.[Slightly off topic}
Last winter I was wearing a long, wool, wrap around style skirt. I had been walking around all day in our carpeted office. A little after lunchtime my supervisor called me over to look at some document or other with him. I lean in to look at the paper and a giant arc of electircity, somewhat akin to a miniature lightning bolt, shoots from my left breast to my supervisor’s arm. It took everything I could to keep from rolling on the ground laughing while simultaneously dying from embarrassment. I felt like some kind of comic superhero. Perhaps one of the Tick’s sidekicks : “Lightning Booby Woman” or “The Sexy Shocker.”
I don’t think “Excuse me” would have covered that situation. I just used the “turn beet red and ignore it” method. My supervisor did the same.
I simply apologize and carry on. Hell, it might actually break the ice sometimes, and start a conversation.
Once time, I was having lunch with a couple female friends from work. The restaurant was a bit on the cold side, and as I sat there chatting, the gal sitting beside me leaned over and slid her hand under my leg.
I think I just kind of casually turned to her and smiled amusedly. She immediately realized what she had done, and we had a hell of a laugh over it. She was so accustomed to doing that to keep her hands warm with her boyfriend, it was just second nature.
Ahh, don’t sweat it. If I bump into someone hard enough to jostle them, I just say “excuse me” or “sorry” and move along. Hey, it happens to all of us. As long as you’re not groping folks or ramming shopping carts into them on purpose, it’s no big deal.
My husband used to do this to me all the time in the car - back when we had a car that didn’t have armrests between the front seats. Then he did it when his dad was in the passenger seat. He never did it again. At least it was his dad and not his boss or someone else…
“accidentily”? yeah, thats what that was…it was an… “accident”…yeah…
first thing i usually do is hire a real good lawyer and start going to church in the most highly visible fashion imaginable, like shouting to an imaginary friend in a crowded supermarket, “oh, no, Hal. I can’t possibly go golfing with you this sunday-- I HAVE TO GO TO CHURCH!”
Next, i have my minions apply “pressure” to the friends and family of the…“accident” victim, imploring them, that for thier own safety and piece of mind, that silence is the best policy.
if these don’t work, i suddenly move to another community or depending on the severity of the…“accident”, maybe even the country!
I fell into my co-worker/dance partner’s lap at the end of a company dance. As she was being seated she inoportunely held my arm for balance, pulling me down. It was an elaborate scene for a couple of minutes and got worse when others lunged to help, and her dress slipped half off her shoulder. I quickly stumbled out and thought I could never look her in the eye again, but she found the event exciting and called me that night to talk dirty.
I guess it all depends on the level of contact. If it’s a bump I would probably err on the side of politeness and excuse myself in case I had caused an “owie” or threw the person off balance.
Play it by ear & according to your own particular value system.
Attrayant, I’m, for the most part, one of those people you don’t understand.
I usually do say ‘excuse me’ and ‘sorry’ a lot going thru the supermarket (who am I kidding? You could follow the trail of apology to find me) mostly to make sure people know when I’m trying to get by them (so hopefully they’ll move their [---------censored-----------] out of my way.) This didn’t work with a couple of stoned looking girls the other day. I was forced to run them over (no, not joking) with the cart.
I also am an obsessive blinker-user when driving. I believe the two are related. (I used the blinker when crossing my lawn, once. I then realized I had a problem.)
Worst ‘unintended touching incident’ that ever happened to me was years ago; I was ice skating and a girl (who was having problems staying upright) collided with me head-on, after a brief moment of flailing, she kept upright by grabbing me; one hand grasped my shoulder, but the other grabbed my genitals.
See, the problem with saying excuse me is I tense up and internally freak out for ~10 seconds after I touch someone. So if I had said excuse me it would have rebrought things up after they had passed.
We say excuse me because in our culture it is generally considered rude to touch a total stranger without permission. We say excuse me so as to let the person whom we have touched without permission know that it was unintentional and that we meant no offense. The proper response IMHO is a wan smile as they go about their business.
llamasex
IANAShrink, but if you freeze up for ten seconds upon merely touching another person by mistake, you may be in need of some psychological help.
IANAShrink, but if you freeze up for ten seconds upon merely touching another person by mistake, you may be in need of some psychological help. **
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Well it is only when I accidently touch someone, I prolly do need some psychological help though.
Couple of years ago I was bent over by my desk looking for a pen. A large girl backs up a couple steps so that her butt is very directly against my head.
Just an akward silence while she went red and went back to her seat.
