My trademarked Ignorance Fighting Glasses are all I’ve needed so far
Hopefully by Christmas I’ll get a Stanley Fubar -
I only want it for zombie smashing. Of course if anything else were to need smashing…
Hell, it’s iron. Its heavy. If you want it blessed, let me know.
The Fubar is a thing of beauty that must be held to be believed. Blessing it is redundant, it was obviously divinely inspired.
I used to have a kukri but I gave it to Attack from the Third Dimension and he took it to Canada. Canada for Chrissakes. Luckily, both my kids have kukris. But if the Zs come, the kids will need them and I won’t have one. There’s a crowbar out on the lanai. I guess I will have to use that. It’s heavy though. Maybe I should get it blessed.
There are some guns. Most of them I inherited. Let me correct myself. Most of them Attack from the Third Dimension inherited from our father (who art dead). Then he (AFtTD) gave them to me when he moved to Canada because it was too much hassle to import them. I really should get some double-ought buckshot for the shotguns rather than the birdshot I currently have. I don’t have any silver projectiles at all or the silver for making them.
Food and empty water jugs (Hurricane supplies) are stored in the attic.
So I guess I’m set for Zombies if I lay in some more ammunition. And finish building my fence.
Facing the door is a PaKua (eight sided Chinese) mirror to repel everything else. So I guess I’m almost ready. I need to buy some silver and get a refill tank for my propane torch to fix my silver projectile deficiency.
I have a pair of cast iron axes with yellow electrum (gold and silver alloy) inlays, in my Coat of Arms on my fireplace that each weigh 20lb and were blessed, by several priests, monks, shamans, and so forth (I was taught by my grandfather to have them blessed by the local hollyman everytime I travel to a new place for luck and protection). I also have a jar of salt from the dead sea on my shelf, several religious texts including the bible, the tibetan book of the dead, a quran, a torah, and so on. Oh and pool cues made from all sorts of wood, like ash, live oak, and devilwood.
I guess my travels have gotten me prepared already.
I have far more normal than paranormal defense items. 
Lessee… handgun, lead-weighted billy, 24" wrecking bar, 18" steel pipe, large cast-iron frying pan, misc. kitchen knives, ABC fire extinguisher, spray cans with flammable contents, large oxygen tank (wife’s O2 backup), ax… I’m not too badly set against anything that’s physically vulnerable. If you’re talking about the supernatural I’m probably out of luck. A bible, some kosher salt, and that’s about it.
First off, an axe and a shotgun for the ZOMBIE.
I’ve got at least one of every holy book I’m personally familiar with. I’ve got crosses on necklaces, a crucifix, a star of david, a rosary, at least two pentacles, a crystal ball, a crystal wand, a regular wand of oak and a dispelling wand of rowanwood, several pounds of salt. Bits of gunpowder, iron shavings (mixed with sawdust in the shop, but still likely effective) various types of semiprecious stones, a pair of cups that actually have been used as ritual chalices, two athames, a drawerfull of pure beeswax candles, a variety of colored candles, at least three tarot decks, a (an?) ouija board, and various herbs hanging in the pantry.
My husband and I also walk our property line every year, and have warded the windows and doors of our house. Our porch ceiling is painted in haint blue, and we have a witch-bottle-tree in the side yard.
Oddly enough, neither of us are actually seriously pagan or religious.
Same here, which is really the best general defense. The monsters always vanish when the skeptics are around.
Not sure where you’ve been, but garlic doesn’t work against vampires anymore. Back in the middle ages it was an effective & common defense, but garlic was prescribed so frequently that it brought about a race of Garlic-Resistant Vampires (MGRV), against which garlic charms are no more effective than mistletoe.
Says you!!!
Wrong-o!
Lights. They hate lights. Flip the switch and they vanish.
They’re also quite camera shy.
A rational worldview.
Until they don’t… (warning: shit-yourself scary vid)
“Lights Out”
A good sense of humor and a key to the front door.
I don’t defend myself against the paranormal
I embrace the paranormal
The paranormal can be your friend