If forced to consume …what he said…mayo or good mustard ( something infrequent in Australia for reasons unknown. _)
Had enough of fried baloney as a kid. ( we were relatively poor )
At least you could afford to fry your bologna.
I had to wait until the sun came out and used a magnifying glass.
You had a magnifying glass? What were you the wealthy upper crust?
I had to wait til Mother cranked up the VW bug.
At least your bugs were made by VW. We had Ford cockroaches.
Makes Found-On-Road-Dead have real meaning. 
Quite different ingredients than my sandwich of choice involving bologna (do try it combined with ham and salami!) but I go along with the general creativity and the use of Dijon mustard.
Speaking of which, as a public service, I wish to announce the result of my A-B taste test of Grey Poupon vs. the other popular Dijon, Maille. They’re very similar but Grey Poupon is slightly more subtle and Maille a bit more tangy. If you imagine Grey Poupon with a tiny bit of horseradish, that’s Maille. I used to prefer Grey Poupon, but since a common use of Dijon around here is with hot roast beef sandwiches, where the subtle tangy sense of horseradish is desirable, and the difference is subtle anyway, I’ve settled on Maille.
One never expects The Four Yorkshiremen.
I like Miracle Whip and a slice of cheese.
You had four? We only had one and we had to share him with the whole neighborhood.
Kraft sandwich spread on whole wheat. Alternating slices of bologna with layers of bagged chopped salad and slices of tomato.
Don’t particularly care for them, but growing up it was mustard is preferred with mayo as a backup.
Mustard. But the key thing is the bologna must be fried.
Exactly what I ate for lunch literally every school day from 7th to 10th grade.
And I’m not one of those folks who say literally without meaning literally.
mmm
My doctor advised me eons ago to avoid things like bologna, so I haven’t had a bologna sandwich in ages.
But if I was still eating them I’d eat them the way I did as a kid – plain. Slices of bologna on bread. No butter. No mayo. Nothing.
Way back when I was in Boy Scouts several of us packed bologna sandwiches for a camping trip – easy meal with no prep time. Only our scoutmaster insisted that our meals had to be cooked over a campfire. So we disassembled our sandwiches and fried the bologna.
I remember the jingle almost the same way. I think the kids sang:
My boloney has a first name, it’s O-S-C-A-R.
My boloney has a second name, it’s M-A-Y-E-R.
Oh, I love to eat it every day,
and if you ask me why I’ll saaaaaay
‘cause Oscar Mayer has a way with B-O-L-O-G-N-A’.
And yes, the pronunciation at the start doesn’t match the spelling at the end.
That is arguably the “correct”/more common spelling. Doesn’t change how it is pronounced.
You have just insulted a million people 
I have a friend from there (who is strongly opinionated about Italian food and probably thinks American “bologna” is an abomination)
The Italian name of the Italian city and the Americanized name of the American-made cheap-ass meatscraps product are two different things, despite their common origin.
Thinking otherwise is … well … baloney.
So you literally use literally literally.
I think I’ll have to agree with Drew of Down right delicious to use “shitty cheese” I had to replay that a couple times to get it but shitty cheese (American cheese) it is!
That use to be a staple in my house growing up, sliced off a chub, a favorite of my folks from Philly. Mmm getting a hankering for some processed meat y’all.
I think the last time I ate bologna was over 20 years ago when my son was a toddler. He’d be given a slice of it wrapped around a cheese stick we called “baloney roll-up” and he’d say so cute “bawoney woah-up”. I may have occasionally made a sandwich of it with mayo on one side and mustard on the other.