Before anyone accuses me of being some creepy middle aged guy who plays out fantasies on the internet, I’d like to crush that idea. Me and my sister are both very ugly, socially awkward, and moderately overweight people. This is not sexual. What fantasy would include that?
Me and my sister are in what is known in some circles as a d/s or dominant submissive relationship. We are both females. Before you freak out, there is absolutely no sex or nudity involved here. WE ARE BOTH ADULTS. I am 27 and she is 24. We have both decided that we do not have any interest in the humiliation and pain of dating We both have normal careers, and are moderately well off. We share an apartment, simply because we are each others closest friends and spend all our time together. We are also both heterosexuals.
Basically, during our downtime at home, she controls me on basic stuff. Simple stuff, like I call her “mistress”, she calls me “pet”, she can (and sometimes does) make me do all the chores and cooking and stuff, I kneel when she enters the room, and basically do anything she says. I can, and have, refused to do things she commanded me to do, and there is no penalty for this. I simply use a safeword (bananna, hence the name. anna is not my real name it just rhymed).
SOMETIMES, I will wear a collar. SOMETIMES, she ties me up, but this is always completely supervised and loving, and I still have my safeword. There is NO pain involved in this. She does not spank me or beat me. This is generally pyschological.
I don’t know why I like it so much, but a normal life bores me. I guess I’m a submissive at heart.
So, what do you think of this relationship? Does anyone else on here have any similar relationships? Let me know.
hmm this is interesting. I always had this image of relationships like these being among degenerates and perverts, but you seem so… normal. I dont really see any problems with the relationship, although it makes me a little nervous.
hey thank all of you i was hoping someone would understand. it really is a fun experience, not carried out with too much seriousness. but here’s a question:
what about her occasionally humiliating me? This isn’t anything serious, more making me walk around the apartment in some sort of embarassing costume or walking me around in a collar and leash. Our rule is it can never leave our apartment, so no one else is being involved. what would you think of this?
The only caution I can come up with is not to close yourself off to other relationships and possibilities. Still, must be nice to have someone you feel so close and comfortable with.
yes, that is a concern. however, neither of us have ever been very good at making friends. however, we are not and have never been the “gothic” type. We are simply very plain looking s that never got a second look from anyone. This situation evolved because we’ve always spent a lot of time together, and even though shes younger, she always sort of controlled me.
I’m not much concerned about the submission/humiliation stuff. It’s reasonably common. Obviously, you both enjoy it and benefit from it. Cheers!
What I am concerned about, however, is that it seems you and your sister are putting each other in roles that are normally filled by lovers. As adults, this is your right, but I’m worried that it may limit you emotionally. It seems to me that you may be settling for a safe, familiar (and family) relationship when it’s not really the healthiest or most satisfying. This struck me especially because you paint both of you as fat, unattractive women, who have had bad experiences with dating. This doesn’t make you sound like you really are happy with your current relationship, it makes it sound like you feel crappy about yourself and are unwilling to take a risk.
So I would say that you should take a hard look at what you want from life. **In an ideal world, would you rather have a dom/sub relationship with a hot guy? **If your answer is “well, duh!”, then I think you need to drop your sister and get on with seeking what you’re really looking for. Don’t tell me you won’t find it - I’m fat (300 pounds, thanks) and I’m with a guy who is beautiful. The boards are full of people who are fat, unattractive, socially awkward, or all three, but who have managed to find people who love, value, and fuck them every night.
If you think about it and decide that your sister is really the person you want to have this particular relationship with, then go for it. Happiness is rare, work for your own.
Well, it does sound a little weird, but since there appears to be no harm done, what you and your sister do in the privacy of your home in your business.
Questions:
Do you have the urge to do this in public?
Do you meet with others who do this or do you keep to yourselves?
That doesn’t faze me one bit. It doesn’t seem any different than the relationship with my best friend.
Both of us are hetero guys, but very close friends. We’re not touchy-feely or anything, but we share a really deep emotional bond. Sometimes this has been interpreted as a relationship (the smooching kind). While that is not true, often when we argue or get in a tiff we come off sounding more like a gay couple having an argument, then hetero friends. I guess if we were really insecure about it we could avoid arguments like this, particularly around roomates/family, but both of us are so comfortable about it we don’t care what we think.
Finally, someone mentions me!
As to the OP, eh. You’re happy, she’s happy, and you’re both adults. What goes on in your life isn’t subject to my judgment.
Yep, I have a friend like this too. No sexual activitity, but once the word “break up” was used during one of our fights.
To the OP, as a New Ager, I think people should be free to pursue the sexuality that fulfills them: gay, straight, trans, whatever. But I do think there is a difference between sexuality based on positive vibes, and that based on negative vibes.
It sounds as though your sexuality has a heaping tablespoon of dark vibes in it. This doesn’t mean you’re a bad person; it also doesn’t mean that you’re hurting others. But it could be you’re basing your relationship on negative energies when it doesn’t have to be that way. That’s all IMO, however, and it’s up to you.
You also label yourself as a heterosexual. If so, that means you want a man. If you want a man, you should try to get a man. That too, of course, is all up to you.
Especially considering that this is the OPs first post ever. Way too much (and weird) information to be sharing with a bunch of strangers and then saying “What do you think?”
I think mischievous nailed it. One big reason sex between family memebers (quite apart from the kids with one eyebrow) is that keeping your intense emotional relationships confined to people you grew up with can be…stunting. This is not sex, but it seems like it has a similar function.
I don’t think there’s anything wrong with what you’re doing…except to the extent it’s keeping you (or at least distracting you from feeling the need to) form realtionships with other people.
What’s your answer to mischievous’s question? If you’re really a submissive at heart, have you looked for a proper Dom?
Can I recommend bondagedotcom (I won’t write it as a link because there are naked people there ). You will get plenty of attention, just be being female.
Seriously, I never thought incest was a big deal between consenting adults. True Confession time: If I had a hot older brother, who knows what I’d be thinking about? Fortunately or unfortunately I don’t.
I think two of my aunts who have been living together for years may have…er…something going. I really, really don’t want to think about it cause, they’re my aunts. But I don’t have any kind of problem with it…on the contrary, this is a damn lonely world and you take it where you can get it.
Good for you and I’m glad you can get beyond the conventional “rules”.
We both have normal careers, and are moderately well off. We share an apartment, simply because we are each others closest friends and spend all our time together. We are also both heterosexuals.