Well, Freud is pretty discredited but his definition of frigid was any woman who couldn’t have a “vaginal” orgasm.
We know that’s not the case now.
What does frigid mean? Does it mean not being able to orgasm during the act of intercourse? Or is it broader, that you can’t orgasm with your preferred sex, or only by yourself? Or that you can’t orgasm at all?
Have been wondering for a while, and the reason being, for a long time I thought…I fit the definition. I no longer think so…except that I don’t *know * the definition. So I guess I still could. I do fit one of the descriptions above.
Help?
*Mods, feel free to move this to MPSIMS if you think it’s necesary, but it is a poll since I don’t know if there’s a real answer.
My ex-husband defined frigid as “a woman who does not like to have sex” and applied it to me any time I turned him down. I usually turned him down when he wandered home stinking drunk at 3:30 in the morning after sleeping with some other woman. While I felt the circumstances surrounding his attempts to have sex with me were the important factors, I never disagreed with his definition of the term. I never considered orgasm as part of the definition, just the disinclination to have sex.
What the actual definition is I don’t know. And I have never not liked sex…I just didn’t want it with him at that particular moment.
Well, from a psychological standpoint, I don’t believe that “frigid” is a term that’s bandied about anymore.
However, from a social standpoint, I always associated “frigid” with not wanting to have sex, or not enjoying sex. I think in a lot of cases the “not enjoying sex” comes from a partner who doesn’t know what s/he is doing. But I also think that their are some people (not only women, but probably a higher percentage) that just aren’t into it, regardless.
Their partner could pull out all the stops, use every technique in the book, have toys, oils, scented pillows, and nubians to waft the person with palm fronds and they still wouldn’t be into it.
In the bad old days, the humor column accompanying the Playboy centerfold might define frigid as a woman who wants sex less frequently than her husband and nymphomaniac as a woman who wants sex more frequently than her husband.
Hard to believe I could reject such a love-god as him, isn’t it? But there was something about the odor of alcohol oozing from every pore, and the head (the big one) swinging from side to side and the unfocused eyes and the attempts to pee in the closet and the slurred speech and the nasty attitude that just didn’t do it for me
To me, it’s having to wear a sweater in my office all summer because the a.h. who controls the locked thermostat 3 rooms down likes to keep the thermostat at 65 degrees F. F him.
Keep in mind that frigidity is not an actual medical term. The generally accepted layman’s definition is: “lack of sexual response in the female”. But it’s about as specific for actual disease as the term “headache” or “back pain”. At best, it vaguely describes a symptom.
Ok, I get it. So frigid traditionally means someone who is averse to sex itself. And the word has been bandied about to mean anything from “refuses to come running and drop to her knees when I call” to actually afraid of sex.
I can’t get along side of that all the time. Too many women are taught from the start not to enjoy it. I know I was, even if it was never overtly said to me.
These women do need a gentle hand (pun intended, I guess) to help them in the beginnings.
Um, yeah, that’s the whole point. If a woman is taught that sex is shameful and not to be enjoyed, and it gives her psychological issues preventing her from enjoying sex, then there you go, that’s an excellent example of being frigid, don’t you think?
I agree. I never said a frigid woman can’t warm up. I’ve had experience warming up a frigid woman, and I suppose I could say it was kind of fun in the end. (har har) But overall, really it was just a giant headache for me. Frigid women are a ton of work, and it sometimes seems pointless to put oneself through that hassle when one considers how many women there are who aren’t hung up about their own sexuality.
I guess whether this counts or not depends on your definition of frigidity, but apparently I was the first person to give my last GF an orgasm. (I’m not sure if that’s necessarily true, because she lied about other aspects of her sexual history during our relationship; but she certainly seemed to be sincerely experiencing a new thing.) That was a lot of fun. Knowing that I had introduced her to such a wonderful thing was awesome for my ego and for the sexual side of our relationship. She was unusually appreciative of me sexually because of it, and I think it made her more attracted to me as well.
Didn’t help the relationship overall that much, I guess, since it ended after about a month.
But while I can see that it’d be frustrating to warm up a girl who doesn’t like sex, IME it’s all kinds of fun to warm up a girl who hasn’t reached orgasm before. Makes it more meaningful, IMO, to be sharing ‘firsts’ such as that.
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