I am a little disheartened that people feel now that you have to have a conversation to know that you are together. I mean really, how many dates are you people going on? I guess my train of thought on this comes from my small town upbringing., There aren’t that many folks to chose from really and everyone knows your business. If you go on a date with Johnny on Tuesday, and Rob on Friday then you are a whore. You don’t accept a date unless it is someone you want to have a relationship with really.
Meeting the parents kind of implies that you are now monogamous, to me anyway. If I take a woman over for Thanksgiving or Easter to my parents house and she accepts the invitation then we are practically engaged.
Not really but that means a lot to me and I’m sure most women feel the same way. Hell, I’ve been monogamous since I was eighteen anyway. One woman at a time is more than enough for me.
It does to me. I grew up in a very small town and I don’t understand dating that is not monagomus even as soon as the first serious date. I would never want to date a female that is entertaining all offers as they come. I understand perfectly and that has been one of my many unresolved life questions as to why someone would think otherwise.
No, I know exactly what she is talking about and I have wondered about it myself many times. There is no problem with being with two different people in the same week but monogamy implies that there is some level of sexual involvement. If someone has two partners in the same week, that is dangerously close to a crack-whore situation in my mind and I don’t understand how anyone could tolerate that situation. I know that others may disagree but Gwyen and I see the same thing. I have never understood casual dating even in TV shows from the 1950’s.
If you want a serious relationship, you can just switch off when the last one didn’t work out.
That is some serious insanity right there. I mean, i’m talking levels of delusion requiring medication. You are on a planet completely separated from reality.
I wonder if this is a US versus Europe thing… IME, if two people are dating/going out with each other, then they’re pretty much an exclusive couple and to date someone else would not be done… The idea of dating multiple people at the same time is practically alien I think in the UK/Europe – you ask someone on a date, the idea is that its a monogamous thing.
Sadly, calling each other bf/gf does not indicate a 1 on 1 relationship. I made the mistake to think that bf/gf plus “I want you to be the mother of my children” did: it didn’t, not every time.
I’ve never gone on dates with several people at the same time. If I’m dating someone, I date only him. And to me “dating” doesn’t always involve “bedding.”
I usually have the conversation before any sexification. I’m not down with non-monogamous sex. If I’m casually seeing someone, I don’t sleep with them.
Well, it’s either that or hurt somebody’s feelings, and I don’t like doing that.
…probably means they had an awesome week!
ETA:
What do people in the UK do if they want to go out, have a few drinks, go home to have sex, and part ways in the morning? It’s not so much that I’m dating multiple people, it’s more that I’m seeing multiple people. Which is why the conversation needs to take place, so everybody is on the same page. I really can’t imagine there aren’t quite a lot of people in Europe out having casual sex.
They do just that. One night stands happen certainly, and well you just don’t give the other person your contact details or whatever, but dating tends, IME, to be monogamous. And whilst I’ve had longer term relationships come out of what I thought was just going to be one night of sex, most of my relationships (and those of my friends) have started from talking and getting to know the person on a more casual basis first, before letting things progress if the chemistry is there. And well, when its blatantly obvious that the chemistry is there, the getting to know you phase can be brief.
In my reality the words ‘casual’ and ‘sex’ put together constitute a dichotomy.
We’ve had eight children and our youngest daughter, who has one more year to go at university to acquire her teaching degree (she’s twenty, but was homeschooled and so started her BA early), became formally engaged a couple of weeks ago and she and her fiancé are marrying on May 1st. They’ve been seeing each other for over a year and have not been intimate sexually. We raised all of our children to behave decently and to view making love as sacred, which I believe it is.
I remember when I was seventeen I thought I was the only virgin in London, England, where I was working at the time. I wasn’t raised in a ‘religious’ household and my parents taught me nothing about sex. I’ve always felt it’s innately wrong to be ‘Casual’ about joining one’s body to someone else’s. I used to have to stipulate, when going out on dates, that I was not dessert - and that was nearly forty years ago!
Abortions, STD’s, broken hearts, and a host of other problems wouldn’t exist if we viewed making love as a sacred act meant to take place between married couples only. Sex for the sake of it sounds empty to me, while making love with one’s only partner has a spiritual aspect to it, which makes the experience… more intense and profound than mere words can articulate.
BTW, when I was dating, in Britain, Europe, or the Americas, I did expect the person I was seeing to be seeing only me - and vice versa. When someone asks a person out on a date in Scotland (where I’m from) or any other place in Europe, it’s taken as a given that they wish to see you - not schedule you in for a quickie. Dating is seen as a serious attempt at getting to know another person with a view to marriage if it works out well. I had many ‘boy’ and ‘men’ friends, none of whom I dated, but all of whom I spent quality time with in some pursuit or other as friends.
People who wait 'til they’re married to make love rarely divorce. Just a li’l bit of trivia that might be illuminating.