imthjckaz, Lsura, and Dirty Earthworm sought to be the scandal of the decade when they staged a threesome on the Staten Island Ferry on Labor Day Weekend. Spectators were miffed when the trio blocked the best spots by the railing, spoiling countless Kodak[sup]TM[/sup] moments. Several burly tourists took matters into their own hands and tossed the three overboard to the cheers of other passengers. Hoards of gulls and pigeons set upon the entangled triad, and nary a trace of any was found…
While sailing alone on a 3-hour cruise to Key West and back over Memorial day weekend last year, FairyChatMoms’ boat was overtaken by a band of pirates from St Lucia. She was forced to sail them to the Galapagos Islands, for they were environmentally aware pirates. She helped them save and nurse a group of tortoises that were ill, and fell in love with the wildlife and lifestyle there. She abandoned all, and is now known as the "La Muchacha de la Islas Galapagos’.
The Big Cheese died of an infection of blue mold. They had no funeral; instead they plan to edam.
After leaving the most recent Dopefest, FairyChatMom became disoriented, got kidnapped, and ended up in a gelato factory. As she was forced 24/7 to make weird ice cream flavors that she didn’t really like the idea of (like dill pickle, jalapeno pepper, and BBQ chicken), she escaped the factory and attempted to find her way back to Florida.
Unfortunately, while she was in the airport, three men who were into bondage, perverted sex acts, and sado-masochism dragged her, kicking and screaming, back to their hotel room. There, they force-fed her massive quantities of drugs while making her perform acts of such horrible depravity that, for the sake of decency, I won’t mention exactly what they were.
A day later while the men unwisely left her in the hotel room alone, she tried to escape, but her drugged-up state made it impossible for her to go more than 10 feet without dropping to the ground exhausted. A compassionate couple saw her, took her to the hospital, and begged the medical personnel there to save her life. However, due to all the drugs that she had ingested in her system, it was too late.
Thus ends the saga of FairyChatMom.
(sorry it was so long, I get carried away somewhat)
Darn… some other people got in ahead of me…
TheBigCheese and RealityChuck got involved in a Chinese triad gang. At first, life in the gang was good, with molls and treats galore. However, someone then ratted on them to the gang leader, making up a story about their having sold drugs to a rival gang. While they were innocently out filling up their SUV, they both got shot in the head, and thus died ill-fated deaths.
Hey Eutychus,
Boooooooooooooooooo!
-the ghost of babs
The party ended for Flamsterette_X when a weeklong binge on Circus Peanuts culminated in a fugue state in which she succumbed to her demons-- chiefly, the belief that she was being pursued by a large, blue rabbit who claimed he knew who shot JFK. Flamterette now spends her days in a secure facility, rocking in a corner chanting “Back, and to the left… back, and to the left… back, and to the left,” and cannot be left alone with Circus Peanuts, lest they trigger reactions even more grave.
She also changed her name from Flamsterette to Flamterette. So there.
Flamsterette_X went completely bananas and took the role of Flamsterette_X:The Night Avenger. Spotted in nothing but a cape and pink booties, the so called ‘hero’ tried to make Vanvouver safe for the populace. Unfortunatly, she took her role as protector too seriously and in trying to save them from heart disease, died of gastrointestinal failure trying to consume 3 and a half tons of cruellers and gravy fries with cheese curd.
The Canucks dedicated their season to Flamsterette_X by losing the cup yet again…but this time only clad in capes and pink skates
I would never do that!! :eek:
Ironically, as famed romance novelist Rosebud mounted the stage to accept her Nobel Prize in Literature, she tripped and stabbed herself in the eye with her “lucky” pen. The very same pen she used to write all 36 of her acclaimed novels pierced her brain; she died days later of ink poisoning. Lucky indeed.
TigoleBitties and Rosebud met in a casino by coincidence while on seperate vacations in Las Vegas. Realizing the awesome potential of two Dopers working in concert, they decided to team up and bamboozle the casino out of hundreds of thousands - nay, millions - of dollars. They were detected in their efforts, which led eventually to a very exciting high speed car chase in which all three chasing vehicles crashed and exploded violently. TigoleBitties and Rosebud escaped into the Nevada desert, to freedom. With the taste of victory still fresh in their mouths, they decided (a bit over-optimistically, perhaps) that they would take on Area 51 next. Upon arriving, they were immediately vaporized by a giant death-ray.
The government refuses to acknowledge that anything ever happened.
Grelby and the girl of his dreams ended up married after a brief but torrid courtship. They now reside in a small but charming cottage with their two beautiful children.
Sadly, Grelby passed away in Florida as a result of a drunken spring break gag gone bad. He had passed out from too many tequila shooters, flaming blue jesuses, kamikazes, bloody marys, rum and cokes, tequila sunrises, jinnan tonix, fuzzy navels, keoke coffees, black russians, white russians, plaid russians, and a six pack of beer.
His body was cremated. It burned for 4 days.
Of course the stunt was that he was bound and gagged, and thrown behind the scenery in the It’s A Small World Ride at Disneyworld. They suspect death came when, upon awakening, he was immediately driven mad by the sound and intentionally aspirated his own vomit.
(Dontcha hate it when you click submit instead of preview?)
sigh ignored even in death.
Nacho4Sara was abducted by aliens and put on trial for the gruesome murder and comsumption of the Emperor Sn!typo. She pled Not Guilty by Reason of “But, He Was So Tasty!” The trial lasted forty days and forty nights, and resulted in a hung jury. She was retried, at which point she said, “Screw this!” and ate all of the trail members. She is currently in orbit around Dogon, trying to figure out the ship’s cruise control.
After being ignored by her fellow Dopers,Nachos4Sara snapped and hunted down and killed Grelby, Shibboleth, and Rysbad. She was then featured on America’s Most Wanted, and became the subject of a nationwide manhunt. Escaping to Europe, she lived in Berlin briefly, making a living as Pinochetia, the Fascist Mime. When INTERPOL joined the search to bring her to justice, she fled to the Arctic wastes of Greenland. She is now know by the name Shomaqqua, Queen of the Polar Bears.
galen ubal was last seen entering a shopping mall photo booth. After a 40-foot line formed waiting for the booth, security guards pulled open to curtain to find only a pink wool sock and a bag of Tootsie Pops.
Katwas killed in March as she was trying to repair what police described as a “farm-type truck.” Kat got a friend to drive the truck on a highway while Burns hung underneath so that he could ascertain the source of a troubling noise. Kat’s clothing caught on something,
however, and the other man found Kat “wrapped in the drive shaft.”