Ok, you hear the term ‘independent woman’ thrown about occassionally. What exactly is an independent woman? The women from Sex in the City are often given as an example, however they don’t seem that independent, either from each other or the various men that come in and out of their lives. Another example is often an unpleasent, assertive to the point of being abbrasive woman who is probably ‘independent’ because no one wants to be around her.
Is it just a career minded single woman? An unwed single mom with a job? Why don’t you hear the phrase ‘independent man’?
This is just my impression of it, but when I hear that term I think of a woman who is not dependent on a man for money, like in previous generations where gender roles dictated that the man worked and supported his wife and kids financially while the woman stayed at home, thus making her dependent on his income to survive.
It’s a good thing to be able to take care of yourself that way.
What makes you think any woman would be inclined to answer you politely and respectfully, based on the extreme misogyny you’ve demonstrated on these boards?
What makes me think you’re inclined to believe anything I’d say that doesn’t fit in with your own stereotype?
At its base, an independent woman fits in with **missbunny’s ** definition.
I’ve always equated the term independent woman with financial status. An independent woman is not a housewife, in my opinion. She is financially able to provide for herself without her partner’s income.
This is all entirely my opinion, of course.
MY definition of “independent woman” is one who doesn’t need a man to make her life complete. I will be the first to say that I certainly do enjoy my life with my husband in it than I ever would without him there, but I don’t require the Very Existence Of Male Person In My Life to give it meaning. I am a whole person without him there. The fact that he is there means that my life is a whole lot better, however.
Independent means that the woman doesn’t “need” a man, ANY man, just BECAUSE he’s a man.
For the record, my husband is not “whipped” by any means. He’s very independent-minded himself, thank you. I don’t “have him trained”, or any of that other bull. In fact, since he is home most of the time, while I wage-slave outside the house, you could say that he has me trained to do things HIS way. For example, I put the toilet seat up when I’m done using it. I automatically reach to put it down before using it even at 3am when I’m half-asleep. Stuff like that.
I wouldn’t know about the Sex in the City people, since the only time I watched that, none of them seemed to be “independent women” - they seemed to be ball-busting bitches, which is different.
I consider myself to be independent, yet the men around me get along with me just fine. I’m self-confident and happy in my own skin, and I don’t require the mere existence of a person in my life just because that person is a particular single trait, such as “male” or “tall” or whatever to “make my life complete”.
why don’t we hear the phrase “independent man”? I think mainly because men usualyl have been independent. Most men just aren’t wired to think that they have to have a woman, ANY woman, JUST BECAUSE she’s a woman - in their life to somehow “make it complete”. That type of clinginess is generally antithetical to the masculine mindset and quite frankly it really creeps most people Right The Heck Out.
Why that type of clinginess isn’t usually perceived as creepy when women do it is beyond me.
. . . which means she could be a housewife, sending Daddy off to work while she lives fat off the royalties from her novel (and the film adaptation thereof) . . .
I primarily associate the phrase with financial independence. But there’s also something to be said about her emotional state. Not that she MUST be single, but that she’d be okay with being single.
Independence is a state of mind, not a state of bank account.
An independent woman is happy with who she is. She is content with herself and the woman she’s grown into. She may support herself, or she may be part of a couple (a partnership) in which she is the sole breadwinner, or a non-breadwinner. She can be alone with herself happily; she doesn’t require constant attention or petting to soothe her ego.
She can take care of herself: her finances, her home, her career, her body. She doesn’t cling to a man for validation. While she enjoys his company, she doesn’t need it to survive. She recognizes the difference. She doesn’t resort to cheap emotional manipulation because she’s mature enough to recognize that if you’re the man for her, she doesn’t need to.
She may, on occasion, ask you to open a jar for her. This is not because she can’t do this herself (she has the plastic gripper). Rather, it’s because she likes the way your arm looks when you muscle something.
While it’s true that msmith537 has espoused some questionable opinions in past threads, the OP didn’t contain a hint of misogyny. Seemed pretty straightforward, actually, and I was surprised to see this uncalled-for writeoff from you (which you followed by answering his question … make up your mind!).
Well, I associate “Independent Woman” with finances as well.
I think a woman has to be in control of her own $$ to be truely independent. That doesn’t mean that she can’t be married or a housewife. It does mean that if she has to ask permission before she buys something IMHO she’s not an “independant woman”.
Well, you know all women change their minds all the time. Consistency is never found in women.
Why am I reminded of the definition of an “accomplished woman” from Pride and Prejudice?
I think independence implies a lot of things. All may not be present, but at least some are:
The ability and willingness to financially support herself - even if when in a relationship the couple decides she’ll be a stay at home mom. An independant woman knows that life is full of things that can’t be predicted, and the ability to support yourself in some fashion is never wasted.
The ability to make decisions (and mistakes) by herself. I went in to have my car fixed once and the mechanic offered me the phone to “check with my husband.” Part of being independant is I get to listen to the mechanic and decide if $500s worth of repairs is needed (it was - at a different shop).
The ability (whether exercised or not) to spend days/weeks/months/years at a time single. Dependant women (IMO) are frequently the ones that get dumped on Friday and have a date set up (with the first guy who could fog a mirror) on Saturday. Likewise, a dependant woman likely calls the guy she is dating “my boyfriend” after two or three dates. An independant woman still introduces him as “my friend Bill” after three years.
An attitude of “I can do it” instead of “he doesn’t.” Dependant women whine about how their SOs can’t afford to buy them whatever, or that they don’t spend enough time with them. Independant women don’t because they either can buy what they want themselves, or they don’t blame their SO that their desires outstrip their capacity to acquire them. And they have friends - they don’t need every moment of their lives filled by the guy in their lives (sometimes they don’t want him there, they are too busy with their own friends).
An independant women, when invited to the wedding of a childhood friend who lives far enough that overnight travel is required, says to the guy she’s been seeing “I have to go to this wedding. I’d love your company if you could make it, but I know you don’t have a lot of vacation time from work. We could make it a little romantic weekend and skip out on the reception after an hour (wink-wink), but if you can’t work it into your schedule, no problem.”
While you can describe a confident, self-assured and emotionally secure person as independent, I agree with previous posters that the term ‘independent woman’ means specifically financially independent.
If you rely on a husband to support the family* then you’re not an ‘independent woman’.
*There is absolutely nothing wrong with this - I’m just stating my definition.
That’s a good sentiment, but if we are to answer this question FACTUALLY, the term “independent woman” was invented to mean “a woman of her own financial means.” That’s the origin and purpose of the term, and the way it’s almost always used.
Interesting. I’ve never heard the phrase “independent woman” used to mean “woman of independent means.” In my experience, the second phrase definitely means a woman who controls her own money, while the first means something quite different. A quick google confirms that if “independent woman” and “woman of independent means” were ever fungible, they are not now.
