Sam Kinnison, on the theory that his stage persona was a fictional character, for being a jerk.
Elan. And Nale.
Pre-mark Belkar would quickly get banned; post-mark Belkar would stay just on the right side.
Almost the entire cast of Homestuck.
Dave, and, of course, most of the Trolls for trolling. (Sorry, Dave, ‘being Ironic’.) Transparently.
All the other Trolls, plus Callie, for insisting on typing in colours with idiosyncratic typing quirks, such as spelling with numbers and symbols.
Caliborn and most of the Jacks for being aggressive asses, who can’t not insult people. Or for making death threats. Hard to guess whether they’d start threatening people before they were already on a one way train to Banville.
Dirk for socking.
Roxy for insisting on posting drunk and incoherent.
John, Jake, Jane, Jade, Rose and the Caripacians (aside from the Jacks) would probably survive.
HULK
His posts would get repetitive and trite fast.
I actually loved the book; I’ve read it three times, at very different stages of life, and found it wonderful each time. I completely agree that Holden is a very difficult character to like. There aren’t too many books I’ve enjoyed with narrators who are nearly as annoying as he is–and yet, there’s also something about Holden that I find quite appealing. A little cognitive dissonance, sure, and I completely understand why a lot of folks couldn’t stand it. But I really do think it’s great.
Darth Vader would be a Mod.
Silent Bob would eventually be banned, they would find some pretext to ban him, for making “nm” posts in every single fucking thread.
doctor Victor Von Doom–when asked for a cite, he would either cite himself, thunder in rage, or send Robot Dooms to kill the other poster.
No way. We’ve got regular posters here who say far more bigoted things than Archie Bunker, and they don’t get banned. Pitted occasionally, yes, but not banned.
Nah, John Galt would get a mod note, and then announce that he’s withdrawing from the board until we crumble in the absence of his glorious self.
Unlike the Incredible Hulk, The Credible Hulk will become an asset as he always cites his sources…
He would contribute a terse post at least once per thread.
Max ‘Magneto’ Eisenhardt, for hate speech against humans/non-mutants.
Eddie ‘Venom’ Brock, for bad grammar/always talking in plural.
Cletus ‘Carnage’ Kasady, for all trouble expected to come with being psychotic as all get out, as well as having “CARNAGE RULES!!” at least ten times in all of his posts.
Space Ghost’s (with or without the Coast To Coast) Brak, for, well, being Brak.
Ernest T. Bass, for his general nuttiness and threatening to throw bricks through everyone’s windows and/or monitors.
Oliver Douglas, for somehow causing fife music to play on the site and everyone’s speakers every time he posts commentary about America, with or without mention of farming.
Ernest P. Worrell, for calling everyone ‘Vern’.
Classic Ernest.
Certain iterations of Guy Gardner (Green Lantern), for being a jingoistic, arrogant, combative ass.
Austin Powers, for constantly bragging about his penis size and sexual prowess, AND frequently asking everyone if they feel randy and/or if he makes them feel horny.
The Twilight Zone’s Anthony, for threatening to send everyone (if not also the entire board/website itself) to the cornfield.
Humbert Humbert, particularly if he starts linking to beyond-NSFW pictures of the “fire of (his) loins”.
Anthony would be a made a Moderator.
And it would be a good thing, too. Yessir, a real good thing! He’d be a real good Mod!