Beer cheese, a Kentucky delicacy. Here’s a basic recipe–cheddar, beer, Worcestershire, dry mustard, hot sauce, garlic, onion. I add horseradish to mine.
You can serve it with pretzels or baby carrots or celery or whatever, but the only thing that really feels right is the saltine.
Peanut butter and Jelly (cracker sandwich)
Sardines or raw Oysters.
Hell, my younger sister back when she was five or six wouldn’t even bother with the saltines. She’d just munch on a stick of butter.
The raw Oyster idea sounds great.
Philadelphia-brand cream cheese between two saltines, a sort of cream cheese mini-sandwich. I haven’t had that in…probably at least a decade, but that was one of my favorite snacks as a teenager and into my 20s.
Plenty of Oyster joints will give you some saltines. Generally I like to slurp from the shell itself (and eat the saltines separately) , but have one a time or two on the provided saltine and it was tasty.
I remember long ago a can of little tiny silvery sardines, two rows, in oil. The ones I’ve bought lately are bigger, 4 to a can. I bought a can at the dollar store - two great big herrings crammed in there…On Ritz crackers, I love a dab of sour cream and a bit of anchovy. I think saltines might work!
I like raw out of the shell as well, as with clams, but it seems a perfect match for a juicy soft Oyster and a crunchy cracker to be eaten before the Oyster makes the cracker soggy.
Dammit, now I want to go out and get some.
I had a cousin who would roll a stick of butter in sugar and eat it. And she was skinny as a stick.
I think peanut butter is better on a Ritz than a saltine. Which reminds me. My older sister spent a year of college in Japan, and she raved about the Ritz-style crackers they had over there. Sometime during that year Ritz bought out the Japanese company, and she said they changed the recipe to the ordinary not-as-good Ritz one. She was majorly bummed.
Our local (Texas only) grocery chain, H-E-B, has come up with something wonderful:
https://www.heb.com/product-detail/h-e-b-jalapeno-saltine-crackers/3987587
They have a mild, jalapeno flavor, not a spicy kick, but a jalapeno taste. Fantastic with cheddar cheese or any cheese spread, crumbled into chili-- I’ve even eaten them with just strawberry jam. Yum!
Ooo, I like jalapeno jelly so that sounds good! I like the flavor of jalapeno, and as I’ve gotten older, I’m less appreciative of a big kick. These sound perfect. Heh, do they ship out of state??? 
Oh yeah, I spoon chili with cheese topping on my crackers and eat that way.
I like shrimp cocktail on sardines.
I’ve got one you’ve never heard of: root beer.
Specifically, you put a saltine in your mouth (salt down) and take a small sip of root beer. It suffuses and softens the saltine and the salt and carbonation both work towards an interesting experience.
You only need a small sip - when you’re doing it right one 8oz can will just about get you through a single ‘tube’ of saltines.
Note that if you’re eating a tube of saltines at a time you’re making poor life choices. But then again there’s no part of this that isn’t a poor life choice.
I used to eat Fritos with blueberry yogurt as dip. Salty. Sweet. What’s not to like?
Moved from IMHO to CS.
I had a friend ( we were about 12 ) that would take a tub of that soft margarine, get a spoon and get a spoonful of it, drag said spoon through a bowlful of sugar until the margarine was gone. He was quite overweight.
Most of the time I only have saltines if I’m sick and they’re eaten plain to get some food into my stomach.
But, I do remember topping them with butter when I was younger. Before the famous biscuits, Red Lobster used to serve a basket of crackers before the meal and thus I’d just butter the crackers before eating
Pimento cheese. Peanut butter. Peanut butter and banana. Cream cheese and hot pepper jelly. Cheese, then melt in the microwave. Lovers of buttered Saltines, try this: Piedmont Driving Club’s Buttered Saltines