What happened to my nose? (humorous speculation, please)

In My Humble Opinion
1

My nose hurts. It feels bruised right across the bridge. No discoloration, possibly a little swelling. The only other time I recall my nose feeling like this my son, a toddler at the time, in a moment of unbridled exuberance head butted me. He was sitting on my lap facing away from me. Something funny happened. We laughed. He flung his head back at the same time mine was moving forward.

I saw stars.

Telling you about it, the memory is as vivid as if it had happened yesterday, but it was 12 or more years ago. Which is why I’m so baffled by my current state.

I have no recollection of any recent injuries to my face. How do you, my Dope friends, suppose I could have damaged my sniffer to this extent without noticing it was happening?

Recognizing that this is mundane and pointless, I chose this forum because of the questioning, poll-like nature of my post. My apologies if I’ve chosen incorrectly.

2

You bumped it while you were sleeping?

ETA: Oh, now I see “humorous explanations, please”

Um… one of the seven spiders that you swallow in your sleep monthly lost his way from your mouth and ended up in your nose and built a spider web and now it’s chock full 'o baby spiders.

3

gwendee, you dreamed of laughing with a girly twitter while enjoying High Tea with the Tea Party and punched yourself in the face.

Be proud of yourself. Proud.

And punch yourself again for good measure. While you’re awake, this time.

4

It’s the aliens. That’s where they insert their breeding pods. Take pictures of your face now, because it won’t ever be the same.

5

Zit. It’s a pre-zit sore spot.

Acne for Thanksgiving- you’re welcome.

6

You had a dream you were swimming and had one of those nose clips on your face. Little did you know, you sleep-walked and grabbed an actual nose clip and wore it a few hours in the night.

I’m sure if you check under your pillows you’ll find it.