What if Satan said... "I'm Sorry"

If he did, I bet it’d be one of those non-apology apologies, like “I’m sorry if you were offended by my evil” or “mistakes were made.”

And to my understanding, the Jewish interpretation has never connected the Genesis serpent to a Satan character.

But I think there is a mention in the New Testament which does refer to that story’s serpent as Satan, so Christians aren’t just making stuff up.

On looking, I see that the book of Revelation says “the dragon, that ancient serpent, who is called the devil and Satan,” but doesn’t explicitly link it to the Genesis story. I think that’s the implication, though.

Not confusing at all. The Bible never says that he was assigned those tasks, nor that this is his motivation for doing so.

Then according to the Bible, what were his motivations, and what were the sins he would be asking forgiveness for in this situation?

Satan was assigned the task of tormenting Job.

If Lucifer went to God saying “I’m sorry”, and he really was, I’d think He’d forgive good ol’ Luci.

Assigned? More like “I double-dare ya”.

Lucifer? I thought we were talking about Satan.

Lucifer was Satan’s name.
He changed it when he got the name job.

God told him to do it. He was doing God’s will. In point of fact, Satan can’t do anything that is not God’s will.

Satan is also a member in good standing of God’s court in the Job story, not a cast out or an enemy. Satan in Judaism (and in the Hebrew Bible) is a servant of God, not an enemy.

This is not in the Bible.

What does he have to appologize for? His name is on the freaking Stanley Cup, what more do you guys want?

if God is omnipotent, He must be the best comedian in the entire universe. That means he can come up with the best jokes of all time.

God could come up with the most offensive, disgusting, sick, twisted racial joke about some minority. And it would be the funniest thing any man has ever heard. He can probably make fun of the gays too, because our God hates homos.

This is the God we must pray to.

See Sandman:Seasons of Mist.

Spoiler: new, faithful angels get Hell management duty. They try to make it a more compassionate, commiserating sort of endless torment. It’s many times worse.

He is frequently associated with the snake that tempted Eve into eating the forbidden fruit.

He is frequently associated with Ba’al.

He has been called the “prince of this world”

He tempts Christ to abandon his mission

In the end he battles heaven and is cast into the fiery lake

So I don’t think he is ever going to apologize and if he does he changes his mind.

Yes, that’s one of my favourite things about the whole story. I mean, it is pretty clear that God wanted Adam and Chava to eat the fruit (if they weren’t supposed to, why make the tree? And why make the serpent?), but the best bit is how God says “the day you eat it, you will surely die,” which is demonstrably untrue, and the serpent says, “actually, you won’t die, you’ll be able to tell the difference between good and evil,” which is not only true, but the entire function and name of the tree and its fruit.

The part that cracks me up the most is Adam going “um, well, THAT WOMAN gave it to me, you know, the one YOU GAVE ME, anyway, SHE WAS THE ONE who told me about the fruit and thenI ate it”, but the most interesting thing to me is how the snake both tells the truth the entire time, and (like the Satan character) is just carrying out the job God appointed it to.

I’d like to see the original on that. It’s ‘true from a certain point of view’. Innocence dies when truth is learned.

Why should he ? He’s an angel. Meaning he doesn’t benefit from that whole “freedom of choice” thing which we are told is the exclusive prerogative of the [del]Master[/del]Human Race.

Whoever Satan is and whatever he does, it must be because God made him exactly that way and knowingly so (omniscience clause). If anyone has to make excuses or amends, it’s Yahweh.

Muslims believe Iblis/Shaitan is a djinn, not an angel – because angels have no free will and could not disobey God, but djinn do and can.

Original on what?

He is also frequently associated with Daniel Webster, Faust and a certain fiddle playing contest. In the Bible, what in particular has he done to ask forgiveness for?