When you write your life’s story, this entire story needs to be in it.
While going down on a girlfriend she bounces her pelvis off my nose. It watered my eyes, but I toughed it out and told her later. That’s about it I think.
Is that a leg?
Ah yes. Caroline. The summer after 7th grade. My first experience.
While my right arm was busy with “activities”, my left arm was around her the whole time. I must have gotten well over a hundred bites on that arm. I scratched for weeks, and still have some scars. It was not easy to explain to mom, as I wasn’t supposed to be out that night in the first place, and at the time she didn’t approve of me dating.
Oh dear. When I was 19 or 20, my (then) boyfriend and I had his parents house to ourselves for the weekend. I had this AMAZING idea that we should tear off all of the sheets on the waterbed in the guest room, douse the mattress in baby oil and have hot, monkey sex!
This was a great idea in theory.
In practice, he tried to get me from behind… which just propelled me forward with no way to stop until I crashed head first into the large wooden headboard.
I must’ve looked like a fat, naked Bambi. Oy.
Bwhaaa… wheezing … sweet geezes woman, warn us first lest we burst forth in office laughter. Whew, now I’ve got tears streaming down my face.
You owe me a keyboard!
Both hubby and I have fallen out of bed a handful of times - thankfully, never at the same time. There have been lots of scratches and bite marks and bruises and welts that were purposely inflicted by both parties. I think perhaps the most extreme injury (so far - we are both pretty clumsy) was one that happened about a year ago. I was doing some serious contortionist moves, and he had my legs pinned against the wall at the head of the bed while we were missionary. It was a marathon session, and he was having a blast tormenting me and giving me multiple orgasms. Up until this point, there hadn’t been much actual sex, as he was “saving up” for the big finish; instead, he kept me pinned with one hand and used the other to play around until we’d both had quite enough. (I should pause here to note that, due to the raging and extremely horny sexy beast within me, I was beyond all capable thought and my body was acting of its own accord to get as much dick as possible.) So anyway, he pulls back and releases my legs, and gives me pat on the hip so I’ll turn over. “Ohhhhh, YEAH!” says the brain of the sexy beast, and I start to turn.
Except…
My legs are now totally asleep, due to being vertical against the wall for the past hour, and I’m too stupid to notice, because the sexy beast is already roaring in frustration that it isn’t getting any kind of stimulation at all, and it’s been two whole seconds already, and life just isn’t fair, and, and… In a beautiful display of slow-mo, that would make the most jaded movie director proud, my legs crashed down from the wall with a lovely arcing motion. Halfway down, the sexy beast up and vanished - useless in an emergency, I tell ya - and my horrified brain wondered why, in the name of all that is holy, did I feel it was a good idea to slam my legs down like that? Unable to prevent the disaster, I was forced to watch as one foot collided with the cheek of my poor unsuspecting husband, while the other planted itself in his lap with all the grace and delicacy of an atomic bomb. After numerous apologies on my part, and an ice pack on his, we called it a night and went to sleep.
He eventually forgave me, but that postion is off limits now!!
This post is full of win. I’ve got a huge shit-eating grin on my face.
Rug burns on my knees, back and various other places.
I’ve hit my head countless times.
Crushed scrotum from going too fast. (no permanent damage, but damn did that hurt)
Partner that dug in too hard and left bleeding scratches on my back.
Sore jaw and neck strain. I should hope the cause is obvious. 
Probably other stuff over the years.
I just wish someone had mentioned that “four hours! call the doctor!” stuff long before, 'cause with the ladies I’ve known, that just passing the audition.
My now ex wife was getting a little too enthusiastic on top and I slipped out. Wham! Her next downward thrusts nearly broke Mr. now very unhappy in half. I learned what pain really was after that. I did have interesting shades of purple, blue, yellow, and magenta on the poor little guy though.
Post 31, meet post 17.
** Uncommon Sense ** We now have something in common but not in a good way. Yes, I still dislike that position.
Does reading this thread count? My sides hurt! 
It’s amazing how, years later, this can still make me literally laugh out loud.
Not actually during sex, but during (attempted) foreplay, I once burned my eyelid with my own cigarette.
Still not quite sure how that happened. And no, penis did not ensue.
And just what part of reading this thread is “sex and/or love play”? Mmmm? I’d say there’s something you’re not telling us. Out with it!
Ummmm, I love you all, so let’s have sex?
No, that’s not right…
(y’know, when I made that post I knew someone was gonna call me on that. :dubious: 
)
Hmm, I did have an urge for a cigarette about 20 minutes ago. Now I know who to blame.
Many, many years ago, I sat on the edge of my girlfriend’s bed and got on, facing me. Bouncy-bouncy, all’s fine. Really fine.
…until she lost her balance and fell off the bed, and me. Nice graceful tumble, crashed against a wall, and collapsed in hysterics.
Me, I just collapsed – having my bits rapidly jerked from 0 to 180 degrees took its toll. (I had a nasty big black blood blister around the base that lasted for way longer than you really want to have a visible injury on your penis.)