If everyone else feels the same way, then your path is an easy one.
As soon as Bill does something like this again, have the first viction start the email chain to your co-workers. Then have everyone approach him one at a time.
“I heard you made a new pot of coffee. Way to go champ!”
“Hey, was that you who made a new pot of coffee? About damn time!”
“The rumor is that someone made a new pot of coffee, and his name is Bill. You’re the greatest!”.
Repeat ad nauseam.
Either he gets the message or he doesn’t. Either he gets the joke or he doesn’t. Not much else you can do. There is some need in this guy that is going unfilled. It’s not your job to fill it, but that doesn’t mean that he’s going to recognize it and stop on his own.
I can feel for the OP. People like that drive me nuts. My SO can be like that at times. You would think he killed a bear with a toothpick to hear him carry on about some task he performed.
I don’t think there is nothing wrong with patting yourself on the back from time to time but at least save it for something spectacular.
We have a lady that needs to feel extra special in our office and she drives me nuts sometimes. While most co-workers are happy with the simple “Thanks you did a great job” she wants to talk about what a great job she did for ten minutes later and at high volume so the rest of the cube farm can hear what a great job she did.
Of course she is the same person that will point out a mistake someone else made at the same high volume.
I LOLed at the suggestion of the paper punch confetti. Along those lines, another coworker suggested we make up one of those fancy certificates to commemorate the occasion. Such as:
On March 24, in this very office, Bill CoWorker trekked to the supply cabinet, overcame the obstacles of overly glued packaging, wrestled an inconvenient chair aside – etc. etc. – and successfully installed a new toner cartridge. All hail our hero, the intrepid Bill!
Print it out, get everyone else to sign it, and post the thing on the wall right above the copier in question.
Heh. I’d do it, except I heard once about a man who was humiliated at work and came in the next day with rifle and handguns… :eek:
I don’t really believe he’s just trying to start a conversation as some have suggested, but I think I will treat any further incidents as if that were true. I expect the conversations will go something like:
Bill: I made a new pot of coffee.
Me: Thanks. BTW, did you hear about the accident that shut down 128 this morning?
Bill: The pot was almost empty.
Me: Well, the highway sure wasn’t. The traffic was backed up for three exits.
Bill: There were scorch marks on the sides of the pot, so I rinsed it out.
Me: I wonder what they do to get the blood stains off the highway?
on and on. Still as big a waste of time, but maybe it’ll offer some surreal charm.
It sounds like the problem isn’t with the rest of the office - Bill isn’t the only one doing these office tasks, trying to get others to chip in - he just happens to be the only one who needs a pat on the head and a Who’s a Good Boy? You’re a Good Boy! Yesyouare! Yessyouare! for it.
My fiance and I have a stock response to that sort of thing.
Me: So I finally got the cat hair out of the tiny ridges in the stair carpet. The vacuum cleaner couldn’t suck it all up cos of the ridges so I had to do it manually. My fingers couldn’t fit so I had to get a toothpick and dig in every individual ridge. It was so tedious and took ages but eventually I got it all out and now it’s clean until he decides to sit there again. I couldn’t believe how hard it was. Him:: (in a totally bored, deadpan voice) Wow. You should write a book.
The first time he said that to me I laughed so hard and now it’s our way of saying “that was the most boring story in the world”.
Incidentally I’m kind of imagining Bill as Milton from Office Space. It makes him oddly endearing.
Nope. I don’t drink coffee, ever, so I feel no moral obligation to deal with it.
I also don’t clean out the fridge because I never put anything into it. I use an insulated bag on the days I bring lunch from home and keep it in my bottom drawer behind the file folders. It’s the only way to be sure your food will actually still be there by lunch time.
OTOH, I am the one who generally cleans up the break room, in the sense of dumping used napkins into the trash (what a concept!) and wiping down the counters and so on.
It doesn’t sound like a very functional work environment.
Maybe the guy is just an attention whore, but my instincts are to wonder what his perspective is vs. yours. If nothing else, it’s funny to think that he’s bitching on some other message board about how his coworkers can’t take a hint.
I’ve got an office full of passive/aggressive dicks. Luckily, I don’t involve myself much with them. Recently, it did involve the office kitchen, but it was the sink, not the fridge. People would pile their dirty dishes in the office sink (which is about the size of half a basketball). An email went around to remind people to clean their one or two dishes after each use and not pile them up. That lasted all of a day. The last time, someone just took all the dishes and put them in a box next to the garbage. Basically saying, “if you can’t do your damn dishes, thing I’m getting rid of dishes altogether.” Our stupid office tried to attack THAT person saying it was rude, blah blah blah. Basically, they feel they have nothing better to do than create drama out of shit.
Me, I’m in shipping. My own room, away from everyone else. It’s nice.
I have a friend who does this sort of thing on a regular basis, but with just about everything.
She: “I finally called the doctor about this horrible ear infection I’ve had for several weeks. AREN’T YOU PROUD OF ME?”
Me: “You could lose your hearing if you don’t take care of these things sooner.”
She: “I finally cleaned up a little bit of the filth and debris in my house and cleared a path on the floor so I can walk there. ISN’T THAT GREAT?”
Me: “It’s about time.”
(Okay, I’m not quite that mean. But I think you get the idea. She wants constant approval for taking care of things that never should have gotten so far out of hand in the first place and for things that the rest of us do without mentioning them.)
Chris Rock had a similar take. I won’t post the YouTube linky as it’s NWS, but if you search “Chris Rock Racism” on YouTube, you’ll get the video that this reminds me of.
It really starts to get good at 2:12 into it…about a certain class of African American that “takes credit for things that ordinary people just do”.
Funny.
I am not a big Jeff Foxworthy fan, but he has a routine he does about this. In it, a wife will be out doing really hard things because they just need to be done. She will be out in 100 degree weather, repaving the driveway or whatever, and her husband will come along and brag to her about how he just emptied the ashtray. So don’t worry about this ashtray, because I just emptied it, alright? Just because I love you.
Sure it plays to the stereotype, but my husband and I use that line now to remark when one of us is playing up something insignificant. “Don’t worry about this ashtray, I got it for you!” It seems to work.
At least, at your work, someone else will actually change the toner. I changed it today after the light was blinking for 3 days (I only work part time so I know it went at least 2 days blinking with no one doing anything about it.) I would actually pat someone on the head if it meant they would do it themselves.
Also, the “way to go, champ” line has me laughing my ass off. I am totally going to use that one.
I think there’s one in every office. I’ve noticed that they’re usually pretty lonely, unmarried, have few friends, and they’ll never miss an opportunity to chat someone up about anything. I used to feel sorry for them and humored them, but that took a good chunk out of my work day. Now I use public ridicule to keep them from talking to me. I may come across as an asshole, but I’m getting a whole lot more work done now.
I guess you all missed the part where the was a c hair in the way! I mean, that changes everything for this girl here. I’d almost expect a meeting about it or a change in policy!
maybe he’s in need of a attitude adjusto. just look at him (with a few quick blinks of the eyes of course) when he begins his drivel of what he’s accomplished and say ‘sorry, you’re telling the wrong person i can’t get you that raise’ or give it a good sarcastic boomerang to the head statement (my favorite approach) like ‘do you see a tat on my forehead that says’s i give a fuck?’ he won’t bore you with such horseshit anymore…
