I’m pretty sure this doesn’t have a factual answer but I’m interested as people do tend to talk about ‘vanilla sex’ and I’m not sure what it actually is. I have been unconsciously assuming that if I do it or would do it, then it is not kinki but for obvious reasons this theory is seriously flawed.
So tell me and maybe try to keep it somewhat safe TMI.
Last I knew, ‘‘vanilla sex’’ is what bondage/BDSM people call people who are not bondage/BDSM. I guess it can be considered a more general term for people who are not exploratory in the bedroom.
When I hear ‘‘kinky sex,’’ I think whips and leather, but I’m sure practically any weird fetish that is not mainstream would fit the definition.
I’d say vanilla sex is sex that your parents would have (you know, if they had sex, which of course they didn’t).
Best definition of kinky sex I’ve heard is: anything you wouldn’t do.
What’s the difference between Kinky and Perverted?
Kinky is using a feather -
Perverted is using a live chicken!
Ka-zing!
For me, it would be group sex or perhaps hardcore bondage. Oh, and E-Stimming.
Kinky sex is anything involving contortion.
Vanilla sex is sex without the chocolate syrup.
It’s sex in Western Japan.
I always laugh to myself when I meet a woman from that area and say “So you’re kinki?” and she agrees.
All of those things that I’ve always wanted to try, but haven’t ever found anyone willing to do them with me.
That was the definition I was working with but it is a bad one.
Whoops - I think that’s why I spelt it wrong, I got so used to hearing about the Kinki district when I lived in Japan.
What is E-stimming?
Anything too play-acting, demeaning, scatological, or violent (mentally, emotionally, or physically). “Vanilla” is some people’s way of saying everybody else’s idea of loving behavior is insipid.
Electrical play. A former lover kept trying to get me into it.
Dingdingdingdingding!!!
We’ve got a winner!!
You hide your vanilla-sex porn. You REALLY hide the kinky stuff. The answer is in the hard drive.
Alternatively, it’s whenever the concept of a “safe word” begins to seem prudent.
Okay, now that is kinky!
Tris
I don’t know, but I think kinky is anything outside “the basics.” There are certain things that are necessary and sufficient to calling something “sex.” Going above and beyond those things for fun and personal enjoyment is “kinky.” In my opinion.
Don’t stop-- these misspellings are exciting me! 
I have no clue what kinki is or what kinky is–I’m sure the standard is a moving target for everyone.
Besides the region name, according to my Japanese dictionary, ‘kinki’ can mean either ‘pleasure’ or ‘taboo.’ Sounds about right.