In retrobution for the Snake named Nathen, I present to you the world-famous “Pink Gorilla” joke, in one giant paragraph with poor punctuation -
Seems there was this traveling salesman cruising through farmland when his car ran out of gas. Recalling a farmhouse he saw a few miles back, he started walking. Finally reaching the house, he knocked on the door and asked the farmer that answered if he might be able to help out. The farmer gladly loaned the salesman a can full of gas. The salesman started walking again, walking the long walk along the deserted road to his car. When he finally reached it he poured the gas into the tank, tossed the can into the trunk and drove back to the farmhouse. Gratefully handing the can back to the farmer, the salesmen noted that the sun was setting and asked if he might spend the night. The farmer replied that he had some spare room in the basement and guided the salesman down the steps. At the bottom of the stairs was a short hallway with several doors. The farmer told the salesman that he could choose any room except the first one, and he must not open the first door! “Ok”, replied the salesman hesitantly, “why can’t I open the first door?” “Because there’s a pink gorilla behind it” answered the farmer with doom in his voice. “Oooookay” said the salesman, “I’ll just go to the second door” and he sidled away from the farmer who he was no convinced was insane.
Lying down on the bed behind the second door, the salesman pondered the exchange. “Surely” he thought to himself “that farmer doesn’t believe there’s a pink gorilla… Naw, he’s just pulling my leg. Probably upstairs laughing at me right now.” So the salesman gets up, peeks into the hall and, seeing no one, tiptoes over to the first door. Carefully turning the handle, he slips in and sees a set of iron bars like one might find in an old west type jail. Curious, he takes the key off the wall and unlocks these bars, slides the door open, and continues. Next he comes upon a solid oak door with a heavy beam locking it. With a cocked eyebrow, he removes the beam and moves on only to discover a huge steel door like a bank vault or a submarine hatch (he’s a salesman and has never been in a submarine nor a bank vault, you see), spinning the handle, he throws his weight into it and pulls the door open. Excited to see what’s next he peers into darkness. Groping blindly he finally finds a light switch beside the door, so he flips the switch and is momentarily blinded by the light (but not wrapped up like a deuce). As his eyes adjust, he makes out a large steel cage in the exact middle of the room, and to his surprise, sitting in the cage is a large pink gorilla. The gorilla doesn’t move, doesn’t blink, but stares straight at the salesman as if it was a statue (the gorilla, not the salesman). The salesman approaches and the gorilla doesn’t move. “Must be stuffed,” thinks the salesman and so he carefully reaches through the bars, no response. He ever-so-gently touches the gorilla, and it goes ape-sh… um, it goes crazy - jumping and thumping its chest and roaring. The salesman flees in terror. As soon as he’s through the vault type door, he slams it shut and catches a glimpse of the pink gorilla tearing its way out of the cage. Panicking even more he takes off towards the oak door. Shutting it and getting that heavy bar in place slows him down so he hears the gorilla destroying the steel door. He then makes it to the bars as the oak door is ripped apart. Sliding them shut just in time, he doesn’t even bother with the last door. As the salesman gets into the hall, he sees the farmer standing on the stairs with concern evident on his face. The farmer says “You didn’t…” the salesman replies “yeah, I did” and the farmer just steps out of the way. The salesman charges up the stairs, closely followed by the gorilla (the farmer just points the way for the gorilla).
As the salesman reaches his car, the gorilla is right on his heels, but he manages to get the car going and takes off down the highway. Momentarily breathing a sigh of relief, the salesman looks in his rearview mirror and discovers, to his surprise, that the gorilla is right behind him. Speeding up, the salesman sees a “slow - winding road” sign and decides that he’d rather take a chance on his driving than slow down and let that pink gorilla catch him. As he tears around the corner, the car careens out of control and rolls off the road, finally stopping upside down. Trapped, the salesman looks out the window to see the pink gorilla squatting beside the car and, the salesman is convinced, grinning. The pink gorilla taps the window with on giant finger. Resigned to his fate, the salesman rolls his window up (because he’s upside down, remember). Shivering in terror, he watches that giant pink hand reach for him and almost faints when a finger the size of his forearm touches him and the gorilla rumbles “Tag, you’re it”.
