My grandmother, when hearing of my male cousin’s good grades, commented that she always loves it when the boys do well in school. I knew what she was getting at, but I asked her why anyway. It was, of course, because they’d need it more for the future. I tried to explain that times had changed, that women had careers and supported families, but she was dubious. This was in the 70’s.
It doesn`t seem like a good example of sexism or ageism. Somebody was really helpful so the customer said something about it. What are you supposed to do to avoid sounding sexist? “She was really helpful. She should get a raise (unless she is the owner!)”?
I suppose that tone or word choice could make it sound sexist but I can`t imagine it ever being egregiously sexist.
Right, but it seems more to be irrational dogma. We believe it for political reasons, not for rational ones.
Why not? Why shouldn’t the punishment for a crime rest upon the level of harm it inflicts?
Yes, I agree, but the strict requirements should be the same if the people are going to be performing the same jobs. Work performance is a great place to address inequalities where the bar for physical feats is lowered for female workers time and again.
Yes, true, and it’s likely that harm in general is caused by societal perception. Women being seen as broken and damaged from the act and men being seen as being virile studs. I doubt there is some objective harm caused, unless of course there really is something in the way women are neurologically wired that make them less able to detach from a sexual tryst than a man is.
Terrible example because a curfew law would limit a person’s ability to gain nighttime employment.
Mine was in junior high. I was in an advanced English class in 8th grade, with a teacher that I (and everybody else in the class, pretty much) adored. Fantastic teacher, connected very well with the kids. But one day I think she was replaced by a pod person. Periodically we would do play readings out of a little monthly magazine that she got–she’d pick various kids to read the roles. I loved doing it, and I was good at it–I was one of the few who tried to actually inject some emotion into the reading, instead of just reading it straight.
Anyway, the play one month was “Captains Courageous.” Which didn’t have any female roles. No big deal, right? It’s just reading, not actual performing. I raised my hand for one of the main roles (I think it was the kid on the boat, or maybe the captain–it’s been a long time) only to be informed that only boys would get to read, because all the roles were males. I protested, but she would hear none of it. So I got to listen to a bunch of leaden boys stumble their way through what would have been a lot of fun for me (some of them were fine, of course, but I know I would have done better than at least half of them).
This happened in the 70s, and I’m still annoyed about it. It definitely colored my opinion of the teacher after that–I still liked her, but not quite as much.
Oh–one more. When I was in college, I needed to get a part time job. I have no idea why I did this, but I applied to sell cars at the local lot. The guy who interviewed me (typically sleazy car sales guy in a bad suit) asked me things about my boyfriend (didn’t have one), whether I had kids (of course not), and several other blatantly sexist (though not sexual–at least it wasn’t that bad) things. I thanked him for his time and got out of there as fast as I could, trying not to get too much slime on me.
Not particularly egregious, more head-scratching. I get a phone call from a charity asking for us to donate household goods/clothes, etc. It just happens that we’ve been doing a bunch of laundry and have a big bag we’ve collected and plan to take to a local drop off point. So I say yes, we can have something set out for them. The person calling from the charity was a lady, and she says she’ll call to remind me the night before. The reminder call comes, pretty sure it was the same person, and goes like this.
“Hello?”
“Hi, this is the [charity] calling to remind you about the pickup of donated goods coming to your neighborhood tomorrow.”
“Ok, we’ll go ahead and get it set out.”
… weird pause…
“Could I speak to the lady of the house please?”
“She’s not available right now. I’m the person who took the call from your group and agreed to gather and set out donations.” She was actually out having lunch with a friend who was having a bit of a family crisis. I was feeding the kids lunch and making a lasagna for dinner.
… another weird pause …
“Could you please make sure she puts them out and labels them [name of charity] by 8 AM?”
“Yes, We’ll be sure to have our donations ready.”
“Ok” -Hangs up
WTF?
I talked to all the kids about it, and my wife had a good laugh when she came home. Then I made her label the bag and set it out.
Enjoy,
Steven
Howsabout some INSTITUTIONALIZED sexism? I’m sure I’ve told this before. The summer before I was to enter high school, my father got transferred to Missouri. I had always enjoyed my science classes, and I enjoyed the basic science class that was offered to freshmen. During my sophmore year, my mother and my guidance counselor placed me in a Home Ec class, instead of the second year science class that I wanted. I was assured that it was OK, because I’d use the Home Ec class a lot more in my adult life, and girls could substitute a year of Home Ec for one of the two years’ worth of science classes that were needed to graduate from high school. My counselor also flatly refused to allow me to take wood shop, because that was for boys.
I didn’t need the Home Ec class. I already knew all of the basic cooking and sewing skills that were taught there, and quite a few moderate skills that weren’t taught in the class, as well.
And when I’d finally had enough, and moved back to Texas to live with my grandparents and attend high school there, I had to take another science class to fulfill my core requirements. Texas has never been really known for its rigorous academic requirements in school (it’s far more important to be able to play football or be a great cheerleader), but even in Texas, they recognized that a year of Home Ec just really wasn’t an adequate substitute for a year of basic science.
I read it to mean that the customer spoke to the male cashier, assuming that he was the one in charge.
So you’d be OK with it if males with nighttime employment were given special waivers?
No, I think your example is silly and not worth giving the time to.
This.
Not apparently for this-then-14-year-old:
Imagine you’re the one boy who didn’t want to high-five his friends over this. And the judgements about his blooming manhood he’d get or fear he’d get. I’m not convinced that all boys this happens to are happy about it, but they feel they have to pretend they are and that’s not fair. It’s sexist to assume that boys can’t be harmed by being sexually molested by a female, as much as it’s sexist to automatically assume that girls won’t/shouldn’t/can’t willingly consent to sex, IMO.
No. Hell, when I was working at Kroger I never met the store’s owner.
I wouldn’t call them egregious, but they made me roll my eyes.
Interview for a bartender job in the mid-90’s that I ended fairly quickly after being asked if I had a boyfriend.
Another job in the 90’s where my punishment for having my own opinions was to be made to shrinkwrap the porn videos. (Boss was hoping I’d quit because I was ordered to shrinkwrap porn.) I don’t have a problem shrinkwrapping porn. So he fired me. He also referred to me and a co-worker as Tweedle Dum and Tweedle Dummer. And asked me about the sex I supposedly had when I went to Dallas with two male friends to see a concert (we stayed in the same hotel room). And his telling the staff that I was clearly the least sexually experienced. (Ha!) When he fired me I said, “Sweet!!! Is that it? Ok, see ya!”
My wife was once on a committee reviewing grant proposals for funding. I won’t name the agency, but it is a major source of funding for scientific and mathematical academic research. All the people on this committee were research mathematicians in related or overlapping sub-fields. All the proposals being submitted were from people holding doctorates from top institutions.
My wife strongly felt there was a strong undercurrent of sexism among the reviewers, that there was a double standard (to say the least) being applied by more than one of the panel members based on gender. Then one day she came home literally trembling with anger when the undercurrent became a blatant, and unremarked upon, display.
A proposal was being reviewed from someone with a gender-ambiguous name. The first person to speak on the panel savaged the proposal in nearly every way possible: dismissing the research as leading nowhere, the write-up as incoherent and flawed, and even the academic credentials of the submitter as being suspect, ending with the statement (not question), “she wouldn’t even have her PhD if she weren’t a woman.”
Then another panelist spoke up and said, “What? <X> isn’t a woman.”
“Really?”
“No! I’ve met him a few times”.
“Oh, I see, right. I’m so sorry. I accept this proposal.”
???
’
That istrue, but it has nothing to do with sexism, or, in other words, this thread.
You know that doesn’t cut it when you’re in a debate. You’re only argument was that the curfew affects the ability for one set of people to get a job. First, a job is usually the one exception to curfew rules, and, second, in what world is the job that someone can get more important than potential emotional, physical, and mental harm in a person’s formative years that may affect the people for the rest of their life?
Yes, that much is obvious. I suspect it’s obvious to many people (if not to you) that treating people in court who are accused of statutory rape differently on the basis of gender is equally a silly proposition and not worth giving any serious thought to.
Unfortunately, some judges do so, so it’s a problem.
I’m inclined at this point to think it’s a problem the larger problematic context of which you are a part.
Friends of mine have triplets who are about twelve; two girls and a boy. The girls have to set the table and load the dishwasher and do the hoovering and dusting and all those sorts of chores.
The boy has and pick his feet up off the floor when the girls are doing the hoovering.
And it’s not even as if the boy has to wash the car or take the rubbish out or do any other sort of traditional “boy things”. Daddy does those.
It just about boggles my mind. But because I have no children, I know better than to make any comment at all to any parents about anything at all regarding their children.
OK! I had a male friend who applied to MIT. 