What Is The Most Egregiously Sexist Act You Have Ever Seen?

[thirdwarning]

@Dublin11

Friends of mine have triplets who are about twelve; two girls and a boy. The girls have to set the table and load the dishwasher and do the hoovering and dusting and all those sorts of chores.

The boy has and pick his feet up off the floor when the girls are doing the hoovering.

And it’s not even as if the boy has to wash the car or take the rubbish out or do any other sort of traditional “boy things”. Daddy does those.

It just about boggles my mind. But because I have no children, I know better than to make any comment at all to any parents about anything at all regarding their children.

There’s a mom who will wonder why her daughter-in-law doesn’t like her.

[cwthree]

In the late 1980’s I worked for a company that required female employees, including the accountant and sales executives, to take turns handling the phones during the (female) receptionist’s lunch break. The owner claimed that customers felt better hearing a female voice answer the phone. :rolleyes:

[MaddyStrut]

@Lynn_Bodoni

Howsabout some INSTITUTIONALIZED sexism? I’m sure I’ve told this before. The summer before I was to enter high school, my father got transferred to Missouri. I had always enjoyed my science classes, and I enjoyed the basic science class that was offered to freshmen. During my sophmore year, my mother and my guidance counselor placed me in a Home Ec class, instead of the second year science class that I wanted. I was assured that it was OK, because I’d use the Home Ec class a lot more in my adult life, and girls could substitute a year of Home Ec for one of the two years’ worth of science classes that were needed to graduate from high school. My counselor also flatly refused to allow me to take wood shop, because that was for boys.

I didn’t need the Home Ec class. I already knew all of the basic cooking and sewing skills that were taught there, and quite a few moderate skills that weren’t taught in the class, as well.

And when I’d finally had enough, and moved back to Texas to live with my grandparents and attend high school there, I had to take another science class to fulfill my core requirements. Texas has never been really known for its rigorous academic requirements in school (it’s far more important to be able to play football or be a great cheerleader), but even in Texas, they recognized that a year of Home Ec just really wasn’t an adequate substitute for a year of basic science.

I was in the first class in junior high that made boys and girls go to both Home Ec and shop. Up till that point (in the late 70s) boys were required to take Shop and girls Home Ec.

Good timing for me! All my cakes were barely edible but mom still has one of my lamps on her nightstand.

[BiblioCat]

@thirdwarning

There’s a mom who will wonder why her daughter-in-law doesn’t like her.

Either that or she’ll be wondering why her 40-year-old son still lives at home and can’t seem to find a nice girl who will [del]put up with his shit[/del] marry him.

[iamthewalrus_3]

@elbows

Effectively his family had hired a fancy high priced male lawyer who stood before the court and said his client was hoping to be a lawyer and any conviction would stand in his way. First offense, ‘boys will be boys’. When he said that last bit, all the male white lawyers, including the judge, in the room, chuckled knowingly. He stood, looking terribly chagrin, while the judge chewed him out and walked out of the courtroom without a record or conviction, and a smirk on his face. I was appalled, and still am today!

This sounds more like classism than sexism. If he’d been a poor nobody, he wouldn’t have gotten this treatment. He got it because he was wealthy and connected.

Not that that excuses things or makes it any better for your friend.

[BiblioCat]

@robardin

A proposal was being reviewed from someone with a gender-ambiguous name. The first person to speak on the panel savaged the proposal in nearly every way possible: dismissing the research as leading nowhere, the write-up as incoherent and flawed, and even the academic credentials of the submitter as being suspect, ending with the statement (not question), “she wouldn’t even have her PhD if she weren’t a woman.”

Then another panelist spoke up and said, “What? <X> isn’t a woman.”
“Really?”
“No! I’ve met him a few times”.
“Oh, I see, right. I’m so sorry. I accept this proposal.”

???

This reminds me of something that happened years ago, when I worked for an incredibly sexist man. He’d read something in a financial magazine that he really liked, and asked me to order copies to pass out to clients. It was written by financial advisor Jean Chatzky, who is female. He’d went on and on about how this Jean Chatzky guy really had a good head on his shoulders, and that he’d read other articles that he’d written, that the guy had great intuition, and he wanted to be able to pass his advice on to clients. I didn’t say anything, but I knew Chatzky was a woman. When the copies of the article arrived, they had a cover sheet with ***her *** picture and a short bio.
When I gave them to my boss, he sputttered and stammered and insisted that I’d ordered the wrong article. He just knew that Jean Chatzky was a guy, and I’d made a mistake. Once he realized he was wrong, and that this brilliant financial mind was a female, he ended up throwing the articles away, rather than give them out to clients.

[mswas]

@Dublin11

Friends of mine have triplets who are about twelve; two girls and a boy. The girls have to set the table and load the dishwasher and do the hoovering and dusting and all those sorts of chores.

The boy has and pick his feet up off the floor when the girls are doing the hoovering.

And it’s not even as if the boy has to wash the car or take the rubbish out or do any other sort of traditional “boy things”. Daddy does those.

It just about boggles my mind. But because I have no children, I know better than to make any comment at all to any parents about anything at all regarding their children.

Yeah that’s bizarre. The Father could could have someone doing his chores for him and he doesn’t do it.

When I was a kid (male) I had to do all the traditional women’s work in the house while my step-Mother and sister did nothing and my step-Mother would tell her friends when they came over to a clean house how tired she was after all that cleaning. :rolleyes:

[AHunter3]

@iamthewalrus_3

@elbows

Effectively his family had hired a fancy high priced male lawyer who stood before the court and said his client was hoping to be a lawyer and any conviction would stand in his way. First offense, ‘boys will be boys’. When he said that last bit, all the male white lawyers, including the judge, in the room, chuckled knowingly. He stood, looking terribly chagrin, while the judge chewed him out and walked out of the courtroom without a record or conviction, and a smirk on his face. I was appalled, and still am today!

This sounds more like classism than sexism. If he’d been a poor nobody, he wouldn’t have gotten this treatment. He got it because he was wealthy and connected.

Not that that excuses things or makes it any better for your friend.

Sexism and classism aren’t mutually exclusive.

[elbows]

It was the ‘boys will be boys’ thing that got me.

Then all the ol’ boys chuckled.

Judge, Crown attorney, Defense attorney, bailiff, guards, court reporter, etc.

Made my skin crawl.

[Fuzzy_Dunlop]

@Katriona

I read it to mean that the customer spoke to the male cashier, assuming that he was the one in charge.

I agree that’s what was meant, it just isn`t an example of sexism. The customer told the person at the register that the person who helped her find what she needed was great.

I’ve done that a thousand times. I never once gave any thought to whether the person who helped me was subordinate or superior to the register person. I can`t even imagine what else you would do. Ask for the manager so you can tell them a subordinate did a good job? You just tell the cashier.

[Mister_Rik]

@Fuzzy_Dunlop

I agree that’s what was meant, it just isn`t an example of sexism. The customer told the person at the register that the person who helped her find what she needed was great.

I’ve done that a thousand times. I never once gave any thought to whether the person who helped me was subordinate or superior to the register person. I can`t even imagine what else you would do. Ask for the manager so you can tell them a subordinate did a good job? You just tell the cashier.

Maybe you had to be there. I did mention that the woman (owner) she was praising was standing right there? If she simply wanted to praise the woman who helped her, then why not direct the comments to her, rather than to her male coworker? Her tone and wording were clear enough that all three of us (me, store owner, and cash register guy) all came to the same conclusion at the same time: she assumed the man was somehow the woman’s superior. Granted, in addition to working the register he’s also a salesman and the store’s resident drum instructor, but he’s still the employee, not the employer.

[bengangmo]

@Mister_Rik

Maybe you had to be there. I did mention that the woman (owner) she was praising was standing right there? If she simply wanted to praise the woman who helped her, then why not direct the comments to her, rather than to her male coworker? Her tone and wording were clear enough that all three of us (me, store owner, and cash register guy) all came to the same conclusion at the same time: she assumed the man was somehow the woman’s superior. Granted, in addition to working the register he’s also a salesman and the store’s resident drum instructor, but he’s still the employee, not the employer.

That may well have been the customer’s assumption. But it’s also not unreasonable to assume that handling money / operating register is the “senior” position, hence person operating register = boss.

[Lynn_Bodoni]

@Dublin11

Friends of mine have triplets who are about twelve; two girls and a boy. The girls have to set the table and load the dishwasher and do the hoovering and dusting and all those sorts of chores.

The boy has and pick his feet up off the floor when the girls are doing the hoovering.

And it’s not even as if the boy has to wash the car or take the rubbish out or do any other sort of traditional “boy things”. Daddy does those.

It just about boggles my mind. But because I have no children, I know better than to make any comment at all to any parents about anything at all regarding their children.

My husband’s parents had a combined set of 8 kids living in the house. His stepfather had 5 kids, his mother also had 5, but had fostered out two of them. 6 boys, 2 girls, and the girls got to do ALL the housework. Stepdad was a freelance tree cutter, and usually took the boys along to “hustle brush”, which meant that the boys would take the cut branches and such and neaten up the workplace. The boys got paid for their help, but the girls didn’t.

Of course the girls grew up expecting their boyfriends to pay for their dates, and were adept at wheedling “gifts” from their boyfriends.

And I can tell you, from experience, that the boys had absolutely no clue about how to clean house and do household chores. When we were first married, and my husband spilled the sugar for the first time, he expected ME to clean it up. First I chewed him out for filling up the sugar bowl over the table, instead of over the sink. Then I told him that the rules were that the person who makes the mess cleans it up. It’s amazing, he’s learned to be far less clumsy about things than he was at his parents’ home.

[Maggie_the_Ocelot]

@mswas

Terrible example because a curfew law would limit a person’s ability to gain nighttime employment.

A curfew law would only apply to under-18’s, who are (in my state anyway) not allowed to work past 9pm on a school night anyway.

[Fuzzy_Dunlop]

@Mister_Rik

Maybe you had to be there. I did mention that the woman (owner) she was praising was standing right there? If she simply wanted to praise the woman who helped her, then why not direct the comments to her, rather than to her male coworker? Her tone and wording were clear enough that all three of us (me, store owner, and cash register guy) all came to the same conclusion at the same time: she assumed the man was somehow the woman’s superior. Granted, in addition to working the register he’s also a salesman and the store’s resident drum instructor, but he’s still the employee, not the employer.

I already acknowledged that it’s possible from the tone it was obviously sexist. I just don`t think it’s a good example of sexism and certainly not egregious or the most egregious.

For what it’s worth, I think it’s common to effusively praise people to a 3rd party right in front of them. You could just as easily say the same thing to their face but most people would phrase their compliment differently in that case. For instance, I might say "I really appreciate your help with this. Youve been great" to her face and "Wow, this woman is phenomenal, she really knows her stuff. She deserves a huge raise" in front of her to a coworker. I'm just not animated enough to say the latter to a person's face, saying it indirectly is easier and more comfortable. It doesnt really say anything about superiority.

[Mister_Rik]

@Fuzzy_Dunlop

I already acknowledged that it’s possible from the tone it was obviously sexist. I just don`t think it’s a good example of sexism and certainly not egregious or the most egregious.

I didn’t know this was a contest. Regardless of how sexist it was on an absolute scale — and I agree my story isn’t as high on the scale as some of the stories related here — the question in the OP was “What Is The Most Egregiously Sexist Act You Have Ever Seen?” (emphasis mine). As this is the one incident that immediately leapt to my mind, it was indeed the most egregious act that I have ever seen that I can recall.

[Beware_of_Doug]

@devilsknew

Actually, in my male, chivalrous, hunter/gatherer provider colored prejudice and way of thinking I would have probably done just the reverse and stipulated 2 breadsticks for the girls and only one for the boys… boys need to develop the discipline to go without or place other needs before their own to become good fathers… but I guess somebody would call me sexist for that as well.

I have the perfect solution. Girls must say please for breadsticks; boys must arm wrestle.

[ivylass]

This was mid-80s. I was working as a cashier in a grocery store. All the cashiers were women, but the store manager was a man.

I don’t remember what happened, I think two of the other cashiers got into it with the shift supervisor (also a woman) but the manager called us all for a meeting, and basically lectured us on how we all need to get along, and that while he knew a bunch of women working together just begged for trouble, we needed to hold it together for the customers. He shook his head sadly, tsk-tsking us, but he knew it came with the territory of managing a bunch of women.

I was a teenager, so I didn’t know enough then to know what an assholish remark that was.

[Fuzzy_Dunlop]

@Mister_Rik

I didn’t know this was a contest. Regardless of how sexist it was on an absolute scale — and I agree my story isn’t as high on the scale as some of the stories related here — the question in the OP was “What Is The Most Egregiously Sexist Act You Have Ever Seen?” (emphasis mine). As this is the one incident that immediately leapt to my mind, it was indeed the most egregious act that I have ever seen that I can recall.

I am sincerely really glad that that is the most egregious example of sexism you’ve personally witnessed.

[Marley23]

@devilsknew

Actually, in my male, chivalrous, hunter/gatherer provider colored prejudice and way of thinking I would have probably done just the reverse and stipulated 2 breadsticks for the girls and only one for the boys… boys need to develop the discipline to go without or place other needs before their own to become good fathers… but I guess somebody would call me sexist for that as well.

Or you could just give everybody one breadstick and let people who want seconds ask for them. Why assign the breadsticks on the basis of sex at all? I’m chivalrous whenever possible, but there’s no need to twist yourself into knots and inconvenience others about it.

I’ve posted about this a couple of times, but the most egregious sexism I ever saw was from a middle school teacher (in his 50s) who perved out on his (14ish-year-old) female students whenever possible. Dropping stuff on the floor and asking them to pick it up, flirting, anything he could get away with. He had a reputation for doing this long before I arrived. Finally he started doing it to a friend of mine. She decided to complain to him after class, and he continued. In the end he asked her to sit on top of a magazine his desk so he could get an impression of her butt. (What he was thinking I don’t know.) She complained and the school finally had to do something about it, since they’d known about the guy being a problem for ages, and he was fired at the end of the year.