what is wrong with guys?!

So…Where was it that you got your Pop-Psychology degree again?
Just curious, because your ability to diagnose someone as a “victim” by reading a mere ONE post, is quite impresive. :rolleyes:

rowanashe - I hope you feel better. Sometimes people do really, really jerky things.

If you look for tenderness, it isn’t hard to find; you can have the love you need to live. But if you look for truthfulness, you might just as well be blind. It always seems to be so hard to give.



In the name of all that is good and right, the songs of Billy Joel should not be used as a reference point in meaningful discussions.

Since when do women want honesty?
Do you think I’m fat?
Do you think she’ prettier than me?

God forbid you say yes to one of these (among other thousands I omitted)

Nope. Women want sweet lies that make them feel warm and fuzzy inside. They will pick a guy and disregard any bad qualities he has thinking they can change him. And when it doesn’t work, they will accuse him of making them miserable. What the hell?

Women are crazy

Annnnnnnd the pendulum swings back…

Well, no girlfriend of mine has ever asked me either of those questions, nor any of the other stereotypical things so loved by second-rate TV shows.

I’m not saying that it never happens, only that generalizing to the whole sex is pretty lame.

I want to know what’s the dilly-o with this “we dated for 16 and a half years” (or 2, or 4 or 9 months) but as soon as the relationship is over it’s all like “THAT FILTHY CUNT I HATE HIM SO MUCH WAH”. Or how it’s not okay for anyone you even remotely know (sister, friend, girl who works at Starbucks) to date someone that you used to. Because if they do - it’s blackball those DIRTY SLUTS STAY AWAY FROM MY (ex)-MAN BIYAAATCH. Makes no sense.

I dunno. I give my ex dudes tips on how to pick up chicks. Once they’re not with me anymore they’re free to date anyone they want, including my friends.

::clears throat::
Well, I was offering a different kind of services… :wink:

Honesty is not easy. We’re not trained for it. Guys without balls find it difficult to hurt someone’s feelings.

But, many guys with balls will hurt your feelings and not even know it, or care. Balls, honesty, and love are not the same thing.

I’ll bet you knew something was wrong with this guy a long time ago but didn’t say it. Were you completely honest with him? I doubt it. Not that it makes the situation any less painful.

Hmm, a civil and thoughtful response in the Pit. I hardly know how to respond.
Anyway, if a man wore a suit, elevator shoes or a bratwurst so as to add several inches to his physique, he’s seen as a fraud. I don’t angle any clothes to make myself look slimmer. If I’m in need of that, I’d better change my diet or hit the gym.

Bleaching hair the shade of melted butter is not a grooming issue. Neither is jamming the bosom up to the collarbone in a padded bra. And control-top pantyhose is a grooming issue? Shaving is a grooming issue, but if you shave, you really shave. You’re not faking anything.

So the deception is okay because he will find out?
A woman does not have to spend a year and a half with a guy to find out things like what he does for a living, what his corporate title is, what neighborhood he lives in, etc. Women check this things out right away, but an awful lot of them coyly deny these things are important. On the issue of honesty, it is entirely dishonest to say that you are dating a man because of his “sense of humor” or “his nice personality” when the first thing you checked was his bank balance.

Is anyone else thinking that Pucky has a pretty big chip on his shoulder?

For what it’s worth, I make about 4 times as much $$ as my boyfriend, and I really don’t care.

I find it rather offensive that you’re suggesting that the reason I’m dating my beau, or the reason that any woman dates a man, is financial.

Are there gold diggers out there? Of course. Are all women gold diggers? Of course not, irrespective of if they wear a push up bra.

Nah, never said it, Alice. Said it was dishonest for a woman to go that route and pretend she’s not.

You suggested it here:

meaning that even those that deny it are really money grubbing cows. No?

That’s how I read it.

Besides, in my experience, women that are after $$ are generally pretty up front about it.

Alice, I’d say you inferred it there.

Let’s be honest about something. Woman says she’s dating a new guy and what’s the first question? “What’s he do for a living?”

The other side of the coin is men checking out how a woman looks. Of course we do it. Most of us are honest enough to admit it.

Si, no. Meaning that the money grubbers who deny it are dishonest money grubbers.

Good on them. Honesty saves everyone time.

Actually, Pucky, I’m dating my boyfriend 'cus he’s got a really great ass. :rolleyes:

Men are so exploited these day. :wink:

So, alice, when was the last time you talked to a hooker? Sorry, I couldn’t resist. (No, really, I mean it.)

rowanashe, I feel your pain, as anyone who’s read the Pit threads I’ve posted about my ex-girlfriends can testify to. I wish I had some answers, but I don’t. All I know is that being alone and alive beats being dead, and some days that’s the only thing that keeps me going. I hope that you find the peace and happiness which has eluded me so far.

I dislike the “there’s one common denominator in all your relationships … you!” line of argument. Because it’s almost always wrong.

Take the average person - they probably have romantic relationships with a single gender. Therefore, that gender is another common denominator in all their relationships.

Maybe they always had relationships with people who were older than them. Then age is another common denominator.

This is not to say that a person can’t be the primary reason behind their bad relationships. It’s just that I dislike that particular line.

Well, I went to college with a girl that used to stuff a banana up her crotch so her “Sugar Daddy” would give her money for smokes and beer.

Does that count?