Oh my favorite is
As an outsider, what do you think of the human race.
Go F*** yourself!
“You are depriving some poor village of it’s idiot.”
I’ve always admired the cleverness of what I’m told is an old Yiddish insult: “May you catch a disease and have it named after you”.
Anyone rmember an ancient sitcom starring Valerie Harper as “Rhoda”? It had some really sharp writing. F’rexample, there’s a guy who’s sweet on Rhoda but she can’t stand him. He turns up at her apartment:
Rhoda: Larry (sigh), why are you here?
Larry: I thought I’d drop by and cheer you up!
Rhoda: Larry, you cannot do BOTH.
This is still the best put down I’ve ever heard!
I like this thread’s title.
That was a good one.
“Your intellect is rivaled only by garden tools”
“So dense light bends around you.”
“Stupid git.” --Argument Clinic skit, Monty Python
Short and to the point.
** Specific Insult **
In the film business, extras are sometimes referred to as “Props that eat”. I’ve always liked that one.
** General Insult **
“You’re the load your mother should’ve swallowed!”
Here’s a quarter. Go fuck yourself.
“You’re lower than a snake’s belly in a wagon rut.”
“Are you always an asshole, or are you just having a bad day?”
He couldn’t find his ass in the dark if he used both hands, a map, and a flashlight.
I say “Cum sucking gutter whore.”
Once while really pissed at someone, I yelled “Shit fuck fire!” Ever since then, it’s been my insult.
I like the ones from this here page
Thrice cursed son of a motherless goat.
Smegging git and
bloody fucking cum bubble.
Two:
“If I want any more shit out of you, I’ll squeeze your head.”
“Are you only using your head to keep the rain out of your neck?”
My current favorite is courtesy of Trey Parker and Matt Stone:
“Eat penguin shit, you ass spelunker.”
Jman
I’ve always been partial to “Goop Gobblin’ Troll”.
Fuckstick
Fuckface
Dickhead
Stupid bitch (most common when driving and not strictly for women)
[sub]and of course[/sub]
Asshole
I was staying late to finish some drafting work he’d promised someone on too short a notice.
He walks in, asks in a snide tone, “How are you doing, Picasso?”
I respond, before I have time to think twice, “Are you always this much of an asshole, or do you have to WORK at it?”
AND HE SAYS, “Oh, I work at it all the time!” and calmly walks back out…
But I never got anymore 5:30 PM work assignments worth another four hours of work, either… 