There are things that I get excited about. I don’t just mean regular excited. I mean “WOW YAY, OOOH, LOOK AT THIS!!! I NEED THIS! ::swoon::” excited. These things are not sexual in any way, shape, or form. And yet they exite me almost to the point of “squooshiness”…almost.
In my recent apartment hunting, my non-sexual fetishes have come out in full force. I feel I have to share with you what gets me excited like this:
<b>Shelves, cupboards, and counterspace.</b>
Shelves built into walls, shelving units, I love.
Cupboards with or without doors, with glass panes, I love.
Counterspace in kitchens and bathrooms, I love.
Must have monopoly stuff. I’ve recently discovered I can redo my whole bathroom in monopoly themed items!!! Shower curtain, towels, toothbrush holder, soap dispenser yayayaya me
What was one bookcase in our old house is an entire room in our new house and I’m outgrowing that space too.
I love styrofoam coffee cups.
I love to squeeze them with both hands to shape slightly them before I start drinking. When the cup is empty I like to cave the rim and bend it inside until the cup is reduced to a ball. Then I squeeze it flat and flatten it under my foot. If I’m close to the wastebasket, I try to frisbee it in.
Not sexual at all, but something about manual dexterity. When it goes well, without sending bits flying all over the floor, it’s like making a banked pool shot.
Computer hardware. I love building and upgrading my PC’s. I love to open them up and clean them out. I love to connect and run Cat5 cable. I love anything and everything computer. I visit CompUsa and Best Buy on a weekly basis looking for accessories and peripherals to buy. I love my computers. I love taking a new component out of its static bag and sniffing it before installing it. It smells alomost as good as sex. Oh yeah… I love my computer.
J. P. Donleavy novels. If someone tells me about a used-book store I haven’t heard about, I’ll drive an hour to get there and see if they have any of his books that I don’t have already. (They never do.)
I can buy most of them new from amazon, or I could probably poke around on eBay and find them, but it’s not the same; I want to find them myself in used-book stores.
The ultimate find would be to find his collection of plays, Meet My Maker the Mad Molecule, but that’s way too much to ask for. I suspect they only printed like 15 copies of it.
It sounds goofy, but I do it every day… for a lot of the time.
I explore the world that I created in my own mind.
Someday I hope to publish stories about this world.
So I explore the main characters and their environment.
It’s kind of cool to have revelations about a character.
I did at work on Saturday night…
“No WAIT! She would never do something like that!”
Hmmm…
Oh yes cookbooks (Gastropornography).
Good cooking equipment, especially good Chef’s Knives.
Gormet food in a good supermarket.
In fact anything to do with good food, gets me hot in a non-sexual way.
I’ve got a palm tree fetish. They’re just so…tropical, and so unlike Kansas. There isn’t a palm tree within 500 miles of here. Something about the tropics, palm trees in particular, really gets to me.
And I swoon whenever I see a 70’s style Chevy Nova. Not a shitty one, a nice muscle car one. Dunno if that counts though.
Translucent thingies. I love objects that are translucent in some way, preferably with pretty colors: gems, fake gems, glass sculpture, crystal balls, colored lightbulbs, little translucent knicknacks, etc. Well-executed stained glass will send me into mental orgasm.
Tying into the above is water, preferably with light refracted through it. I can sit for hours and watch the patterns of light a large body of water will produce on surrounding walls and stuff. There’s a café near my house that has one of those large glass wall thingies with water flowing down it. If only they would add some colored lights, I don’t think I’d ever leave there.
Drumsticks. I have more kinds than I will ever need, but it’s a different feeling with each model what with difference in length, taper, bead shape, wood species, et cetera. I like variety.
I also like pens. My late stepdad bought quite a few fine pens, and I get a special thrill from using a somewhat expensive pen just for jotting down notes, reminders, etc.
Porcelain cooking knives, copper pans, any griddle pan, most cookbooks fish mongers and butchers, delis…and peeling foil lids off things in one go - like yoghurts and freeze dried coffee
