If you know what you’re doing, it’s not an adventure.
Spend as much time as you can with the nice people because it barely begins to make up for all the time you have to spend with the jerks.
I like to phrase that as “never pass up a *golden *opportunity.”
Confidence Corollary: The more confident you are, the more likely you have no idea what’s going on.
Any “temporary” solution you come up with at your workplace will always become the “permanent” solution.
Simulations don’t. Patches won’t. Shortcuts aren’t.
I wanna tell you I love you tomorrow. 
My father’s rule about using the toilet before going anywhere:
“Don’t leave the house until something comes out.”
But you’ll love Terry Pratchett! 
Robot Arm’s First Law of Comic Book Movies: When casting the lead role in a movie based on a comic book, get an actor who can be convincing as the alter ego. Christoper Reeve was good as Clark Kent. Tobey Maguire was good as Peter Parker. Robert Downey Jr. was good as Tony Stark. Anybody can put on a superhero suit.
Robot Arm’s Law of the Emasculated Sci-Fi Badass: The more menacing and memorable the villain in a science-fiction movie, the greater the chance that he will become a good guy in the sequel(s).
If you put multiple questions in an e-mail or other communication, all but one will be ignored and not answered.
[ol]
[li]The faster someone cut in front of you, the slower they’ll be once there.[/li][li]If you get around someone who was in your way, they’ll speed up.[/li][li]The end of a line can recede faster than you can reach it.[/li][/ol]
The Law Of Supply And Demand Ignorance: If there is one brand of an item that you, personally, decide is far superior to the others, it will suddenly become scarce or stop being made altogether.
Exception to the above rule: Heinz ketchup.
CaptMurdock’s Codicil to Murphy’s Law: (for those occasions where you apparently made an error that turned out to be the better result in the long run:
“Some days, you can’t even screw up right.”
It sounds like you are confident that this is a law that you came up with?
That would be in keeping with the law, yes. 
Observation: Just because you formulate something, doesn’t mean it’s never been done before.
1.The car speeding through the school zone is a parent dropping off their precious snowflake(s). The cars obeying the speed limits are just trying to get to work.
- When you have to wait 5 minutes to use a fast food restroom, it is always an employee of the restaurant.
From my Grandfather - who founded and sold three businesses:
“Accountants can save you money. Lawyers can protect your money. Neither will MAKE you money. If a business gets captured by its accountants and lawyers, it is on a downward path.”
One of my own:
“As the number of ‘help wanted’ signs in fast food and retail stores increase, the closer the local economy comes to collapse.”
Sounding board: If you are asked to help a roommate, friend, significant other or spouse to choose between two objects (such as a piece of clothing or two tools), it does not matter which one you select, they will pick the other one.
Only I can fix this: If something breaks, and you notify your roommate, friend, significant other or spouse, that person will immediately repeat all of the steps that you have taken to verify the problem, even if you have already done them (check the power, plugged in, fuses, etc).
Whenever a group of people is gathered together, one person in that group does not know what time of day is Cowboy Time.
Can confirm.