If a person is sick, takes a purported remedy, and then becomes well, it is impossible to convince that person that there may have been no causal connection between the remedy and the recovery.
Waitstaff will always arrive to ask if everything is okay immediately after you stuff food in your mouth and are unable to answer coherently.
The better a law you come up with is, the more likely it is that some jerk came up with it years ago and posted about it on Usenet.
Martini’s Law: No matter how reasonable your views or how widespread they are in the wider world, you will inevitably be the only person in a thread espousing them and everyone else in it will think you’re the one with unconventional stance.
My current signature is part of an attempt to address this situation. 
Mustard’s #1 Law of Work: If you identify a problem (or, og forbid, a potential solution), you will be put in charge of its resolution.
mmm
I agree completely.
:smack:
Some friends and I once played off Roger Ebert’s Rule of Conservation of Characters, and came up with a bunch of laws for solving TV, movie and novel murders.
Ebert’s Rule is that because there isn’t money in a TV or film budget to hire a lot of extraneous actors, anyone who doesn’t seem to be contributing much to the plot is probably there to be revealed as the killer at the end; see, eg, the aunt in The Killing.
Other rules:
The 15 minute rule: Anyone arrested before the first commercial didn’t do it.
The Elliot Stabler Rule: The amount of abuse a cop heaps on a suspect during initial questioning is in reverse proportion to the likelihood that he is guilty.
The Roger Ackroyd Rule: With one notable exception, a 1st person narrator never did it.
Chekhov’s language: If someone points out that the victim’s native language wasn’t English-- especially if someone *discovers *the fact-- it will be a key in solving the crime.
Monograms are never what they appear to be.
Unlike in real life, the rock-solider an alibi, the more likely the guy with it is guilty. CORROLARY: the guy who was at home alone watching TV, and can’t remember the show definitely didn’t do it.
That’s all I can remember now, but we had a long list. I tested it out for a while, and got really good at solving anything, from Monk to The Closer, to Criminal Minds.
Also, if you complain about something (like skipping the haftarah at a renewal service) you will be put in charge of making sure thing doesn’t happen again (or, how I endlessly read haftarot at the renewal services until I quit attending the renewal service).
This one is definitely right, and is why I never bother with communicating with a help desk via email. Inevitably, one can be facing a problem that takes at least two sentences (or maybe even three) to fully describe. However, the help desk weenie will stop reading your description at the first period, and address that first sentence only.
I can think of at least one instance. Very dark comedy.
A few of riffs on Clarke’s Third Law:
[ul]
[li]Any sufficiently mature technology will be as intuitive to use as a flashlight.[/li][li]Any sufficiently elaborate simulation is indistinguishable from reality.[/li][li]Any sufficiently complex decision-making system is indistinguishable from free will.[/li][/ul]
Stranger
Definitely this one. My husband’s version of this goes: If you complain about shit not getting done, you will be the one cleaning it up (which is why he ends up scooping the dog poop). 
Law of pervasive prescriptivist peevery:
Any thread like this eventually gets hijacked by a language prescriptivist sneaking in a “law” which is really just a pet peeve about the ignorant hoi polloi not talking proper.
Approximately 10% of the US population are serial killers.
Unless captured in a single episode, all these serial killers will target the cops/FBI who are trying to catch them.
Rules are to guide the wise and command the foolish. OR: Wisdom is knowing when to beak the rules.
Properly. Did I do it right?
It seems really unrealistic in Dexter that he encounters so many serial killers and other murderers. Until you realize that it takes place in Florida, so if anything the estimate of Floridian killers is rather low in the show.
I came up with this one around age 6 before I realized that many others had beaten me to it:
If you always tell the truth you don’t have to remember anything.
Not for any ethical reasons, mind you. I’m just too lazy to lie.
Grr’s law of receiving texts while driving: If you receive a text while driving, every stoplight you pass will be green. And conversely, if you receive NO texts while driving, every stoplight you come upon will be red.
Stigler’s Law of Eponymy comes close.