And I think that is telling. I can drink, or not. I might have one beer in the evening, or none, or 6. Or I can close the bar down. Same with other addictive substances, I can snort an 8 ball then just stop and not do it again for years. Or at all (current phase), but if somebody showed up with an 8 ball tonight, I’d snort it with every confidence that I wouldn’t need to go looking for more. Same with booze, I’ve gone months without really drinking then tie one on.
I’m not sure if I’m technically an alcoholic, but going for weeks without doesn’t faze me. On the other hand, I love me a Bloody Mary with steak and eggs for breakfast while in Vegas.
I admit I have to do a double take on the stories of alcoholics who eat a Bananas Foster after 10 years sober and go on a binger, that sort of absolute craving just doesn’t enter into my mind at all. I don’t doubt it, or judge them because of it, I just can’t understand it.
ETA: This post was in response to Phlsphr, not Shagnasty
Thanks everyone, I think I’m at the point where I need to just deal with it now before it gets any worse.
To add, I can just not drink, for instance, tonight. But my SO is home and I know that if he wasn’t, I would probably be drinking again. I’ve also never experienced withdrawls from it.
I recall my ex’s brother. Even at age 24, he lived at home with his (and also my ex’s) parents, and we were there often enough that I could see a pattern emerging.
Brother would get home from work and drink 12 beers. Then he’d fall asleep and go to work the next day. The next day, he’d get home from work and drink 12 beers. Saturdays and Sundays, he’d put away 24 per day, give or take, easily.
There seemed to me to be a problem there, but I wasn’t allowed to say anything. My ex made it quite clear that we were not to say a word about Brother’s drinking, because he was sensitive, he was stressed, and he was stuck in the situation of living at home with the parents. (Maybe this means something–watch out for the family members’ excuses?)
I know, Dopers, I know. At his age, he need not have been in the “living with parents” situation. And the stresses he had at work were no more than any of us had faced in our early-to-mid 20s. But this was the excuse my ex and her family used, and they were sticking to it.
I don’t know officially if this makes an alcoholic, as the OP asked. But it does tell me (in my uninformed opinion) that Brother had an alcohol problem. This was definitely a negative impact: he must have seen that it was easier to live with the parents and drink every night than it was to get his own place and (okay) drink every night in spite of the rent, bills, wanting a place to take girls back to, etc.
I never knew what became of Brother–my ex and I split before I found out. But I often wonder if he ended up in a rehab or similar. He should have–again, in my uninformed opinion.
There are a lot of factors that go into what makes an alcoholic. Both of my parents were the partying, drinking people (until I unexpectedly came along). They were both functioning alcoholics all through my life. My dad can turn it on and off like a switch; I’ve seen him go sober for a year here and a year there because he wanted to without any ill effects on his body…Unfortunately, he’s doing the “occassional drinking” thing again which I wish he would quit doing.
My mom was an alcoholic for as long as I could remember. Whereas my dad could stop drinking if he wished, I believe that my mom is physically dependent. She has never even tried to stop drinking since she never believed she had a problem. She probably didn’t weigh more than 120 lbs but could put away a 24 pack in one day. Getting arrested for drunk driving didn’t stop her. The divorce didn’t stop her. Losing custody of my sister didn’t stop her, losing me didn’t stop her, because she never believed she had a problem to begin with. We were all against her; we were the crazy ones. She could have gotten the help, if she wanted it. She could have gotten detox before my dad’s insurance ended on her. She thought that she could lessen the amount herself and that again, it wasn’t like she was addicted or anything. See? She could cut back on the number of beers she has every day!
The one time that I think I saw her go through withdrawl was when my family and I went down to Georgia to visit my brother at Fort Benning. My mom had driven separately and we all tried to spend as much time with my brother as possible (we hadn’t seen him for weeks and he only had an 8 hour pass). She was getting extremely antsy as the day wore on and, by the time we dropped him off, she couldn’t take it anymore. She got out of there like a bat out of hell, not even bothering to make the most of the time we had remaining with him.
She’s still in denial. She’s physically and mentally dependent on alcohol and, as long as she continues to believe that it’s not a problem, will probably never be able to quit drinking.
Denile is a tough place to live, especially when it’s not the river in Africa we are talking about. Unfortunately some people are constitutionally incapable of being honest with themselves, and nothing that can be said or done works to make them realize they are harming themselves. It’s very sad to watch, I’ve seen many people die from alcoholism having never truly accepted they had a problem. Some people need to hit a rock bottom low before they will accept anything.
With hope I’ll tell you there are many places your mom would feel quite at home talking about her issues. Sometimes just hangin around a bunch of other drunks talking about life is what people need. That’s what AA is. A bunch of drunks talking about their experieces sharing little tidbits of what works for them and how they stay away from the drink…Unfortunately not many people make it to AA or any recovery for that matter, doesn’t have to be AA.