Arizona - the Packrat State
or
Arizona - Pointy, Stingy, Venomous, Armed and Hot
Texas – Proud of Willful Ignorance
That will never fit on a license plate.
You are aware, of course, that PA state ('scuse me, commonwealth) law requires that at least 45% of state highway mileage be under construction at any given time. So there’s that possibility, too.
Pennsylvania: Where the Road Construction Never Ends
(sorry to Kopek, who already used this idea–going back to read the rest of the thread, I just saw his/her response above. Great minds run in the same, um, pothole, I guess.)
North Dakota - Ow ow ow ow cold cold cold!!!
Pennsylvania - we’re well armed. In case those folks in Connecticut get uppity again.
Florida - “And that surprises you, why?”
eh, still comes out of the tap just fine 
edit: also, perch.
I thought it was “We’re old and stupid and have an onion on our belts and we’re batshit crazy.”
…which was the style at the time. Now, to take the ferry cost a nickel, and in those days, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on 'em. “Gimme five bees for a quarter,” you’d say. Now where were we… oh yeah. The important thing was that I had an onion on my belt, which was the style at the time. I didn’t have any white onions, because of the war. The only thing you could get was those big yellow ones…"
Wow. Why?
Rhode Island: Hopeless
California: We’ve Been Driving for Eight Hours and We’re Still in California.
Pfft! We have MIT. We can make it fit somehow. I am thinking 3D or RFID tags or something. Standard space constraints don’t apply here because we have really smart people that will find a solution to the conventional license plate data limit.
New Hampshire: Live Free, Freeze, and Die
Nebraska: what Kansas would look like with people living in it
Georgia: The almost good state.
Georgia: Are schools have got a lot better.
Really, I can do this all night. 
Arizona - 20th Happiest State (at least we’re not Indiana, Kentucky, or West Virginia)
Cracker-Acres-Yee-Ha.
Welcome to Tennessee.