Didn’t somebody say Will definitely has the 13-year-old girl vote? I think that’s about right.
Jacob writes the AI recaps for TWoP. He has a long running habit of joking that there is a homoerotic subtext in the exchanges between Seacrest and Simon.
Did the video screen behind Will look like a… how can I put this delicately?.. like a giant Georgia O’Keefe painting?
Bucky was eh. I don’t think he was bad, exactly, but … I don’t really like the song, I guess. Or recognize it. Or something. Where did the brother come from? Are they twins? Why does my head hurt like this? But Bucky wasn’t as bad as he could have been. I just wish he didn’t sound like Boomhauer when he talked.
Will was good. Not great, but pretty OK. He is so gosh darned cute I can hardly stand it. I actually think this was a good song choice for him. He does well with happy little songs. Oh, and Paula? In! Ap! Pro! Pri! Ate! Behave yourself, woman! You’re probably the same age as his mom.
Oh god, Taylor, no, not Michael McDonald.
What the fuck? Taylor SOUNDED great–I was surfing and not watching the TV, but he looked ridiculous.
Paula’s next job? Should be cleaning toilets as part of her rehab treatment.
Taylor, Taylor, Taylor. How shall I out this delicately? Um … you can sing, that is absolutely undeniable. But, to misappropiate a line from Phil Collins:
You. Can’t. Dance.
So please don’t. OK? Do we have a deal?
Tyler Hicks: poster boy for spastic white guy dance.
But great otherwise.
Gomer sounds okay.
No, don’t suck so bad Elliot! I don’t want you to go.
Ack! Bryan Adams. Can’t stand Bryan Adams.
Why did Paula even show up tonight – everyone is fantastic.
My son imitating Pauler: I’m beside myself! I’m losing motor control and I’m horny!
He makes me laugh, that kid.
Elliott bores me. He’s good, but whatever, you know? And whenever I hear his name, I picture E.T. and a Speak-and-Spell and Drew Barrymore at age 6 yelling, “Shut up, penis breath!” What is wrong with me?
Sounds like you’re raising him right, indeed. 
I love him, but I was afraid of this. I think he might just be a technical wonder after all. I agreed with Simon completely. Sometimes, ‘technically flawless’ isn’t enough.
What the fuck?
Aaaarrrrrggghhhhhh!!!
My son, again, on Ace: Why do you hate God!!!
What kind of noise is he making?
Worst song choice this competition.
Ace – what in the unholy hell are you doing? It sure as hell ain’t singing!