:smack: I was never good at math. Meant <18 girls.
Is the parent THAT liable? Hosting a sleepover party in which a stautory rape happens, makes the parent liable?
That sounds akin to saying that if I host a birthday party, and John pulls out a gun and robs Dave at my party, that I the host have therefore facilitated armed robbery.
I don’t think so. As I mentioned upthread, my daughter had a sleepover last month with 8 girls. I later learned that 2 of the girls were romantically involved. If they had sex that night, would I be liable for facilitating statutory rape & contributing to delinquency of minors? Their parents gave consent for them to sleep over…
If they’re 16 and in a state where that’s the age of consent, it’s not rape or any other crime.
Hell, in Washington state they could both be 14 and there would be no crime.
(Just don’t let them drink)
Yeah, I agree. I mean it’s hard to be a parent of a teenager and difficult to strike the right balance between understanding what they are going through and preparing them to be responsible and not make mistakes. You need to be realistic that there is a good probability that they will engage in sex and back off enough to allow them to grow, after all, they will be adults very soon.
However, I don’t think that you should go so far as to be the “cool” parent that presents them with an opportunity or even a temptation that they otherwise would not have had.
The idea that they would not have had the chance to fuck if you didn’t have them in the house is so absurd it’s making my head hurt. My peers and I had relatively easy access to beds and sofas; my cousin in the Big City and her peers had that more complicated but hey, turns out it wasn’t difficult to find some dude who had a car. You know, that solution Spaniards find uncomfortable and Americans have actually managed to convince themselves is romantic?
I’ve got bad news: your parents fucked, hopefully more than once. And your kids… if you want to be grandparents, you want them to fuck. Isn’t it better to make sure they have half an idea of what that involves than to wreath the very essence of life in mystery and bans?
May I ask where about you’re from? This seems completely sane, yet unrecognizable from my upbringing.
I’m from Norway. Like I said, our laws are a bit more restrictive on these matters than our neighbors, but we’ve worked some flexibility into the legal system to compensate. It works well for us I’d say.
This is the part I don’t understand. Like at all. Do any of these posters here REMEMBER what it was like to be a teenager? So the policy of “for my daughter, the way I will ensure she doesn’t get pregnant before marriage in her 30s is I will tell her it’s against the rules to have sex. I will threaten her with stiff punishments. And also I won’t be allowing sleepovers, and I definitely won’t be allowing her to just go to her gynecologist and get a birth control shot, implant, or IUD. Even though I have typical middle class insurance and it would cost me very little.”
Like, can’t they remember back when they were teenagers, be it the 1980s or 1970s or 1990s? How if they were a teenage boy, the topic discussed between peers about 50% of the time was how to get laid? If they were a teenage girl, some similar percentage?
And even more short term: you have a teenage son. “I was at susie’s house all night last night dad. Really helped her with her homework, if you know what I mean. Wink wink.” Up top, good going sport.
And a teenage daughter. “NO you may not have Tommy over.”
Even though the only reason your son was able to get some with Susie was her parents allowed the sleepover…
I used to tell my freshman year college roommate that I was ‘studying the 100 years war’ when I had been out all night and stayed over at a guy’s apartment or dorm!
Crazy, innit? Not only “what it was like” either. You have to remember what it was like, and imagine how it would have been with what the kids are exposed to today. Parents can pretend they can control internet access and whatever, and kids will continue to pretend the controls are working. Only a great fool thinks they will be responsible for giving the world an 18 year old virgin. And frankly it’s destructive to the kid to control them to that extent.
Right. You encourage your kids to practice the life skills you think are most useful at an early age. Take them camping, teach them how to fix cars, these days, encourage them to start programming computers and experimenting with simple robotics.
Yet, because of religious mores you want them to not practice a critical part of their life until some arbitrary age. Never mind that fact that your ancestors probably married their kids off at 15 or 16, they didn’t wait, they knew what would happen if they did. (if you don’t pair the kids up in an arranged marriage so at least they fuck someone who you as a parent consider a good match, they will fuck whoever they like instead)
True, true. Parents get arrested for this all the time. I gotta run and can’t post the cites right now, though, so do you mind posting them? Ta!
Pretty fucked up, but here’s one.
Statutory rape by definition–18 y/o & 15 y/o. Easy to look at it and say some manner of child neglect/pimping if the law is that black & white. Some states allow for a permissible age differential which would make 15 + 18 alright (which is a bit more permissive than I’d be comfortable with in real life), but not, say, 15 + 21. The article is about New York–anyone know what their rules are?
Really depends on the individual kids, how many kids, their age, etc. I have two girls, one would be a good candidate, the other would require more supervision, or maybe just don’t.
There is a big difference between 13 and 16 as well.
Mixed gender 2 girls and a boy who’s family you have known his whole life, or 10 kids only 2 of whom you have ever met.
This is New York, right? A story from 2 years ago, about a woman who let her 15yo daughter continue a sexual relationship with an 18yo boyfriend and was charged with “unlawfully dealing with a child, a misdemeanor.”
There’s some stuff to unpack there, but not for the purposes of this thread. Bosda claimed that if you allow a mix-gender sleepover and kids have sex,
That’s quite a bit different.
We had a mixed sleepover for our choir that was comprised mostly of seniors back in the 80s. Nobody (not even my highly religious parents) thought anything of it. I remember playing a game of “suck and blow” (I’m not going to make you google that, it was getting in a circle of sequential opposet sex pairings and passing around an ID using just your mouths). And watching Eddie Murphy “Raw.” So naughty.
It looks like 18 and 15 is legal in New York. (Cite)
It’s a little more complicated than just a simple closeness in age but it’s roughly four years difference being okay. Looking at the three types of charges from the cite:
You might notice a gap if you are thinking of 18 as the age of consent. New York’s age of consent is 17.
I kind of believe both of those, for different definitions of “sleepover”. If you have a party with a lot of kids, I think the odds are they aren’t having sex at the party, even if it’s over-night. If you have a kid who has her boyfriend over then I think the odds are much higher that they are having sex. And if they are having sex, I’d rather they have sex in a safe place with clean sheets and yes, responsible adults within ear shot if things get out of hand, than if they do it in the back seat of a car at the edge or a giant parking lot or something.