If you were to be married what sort of a spouse would you like? If you’re already married what were your expectations and how much do you think your current spouses fit that?
My two cents (WARNING: This will ramble on for a bit and to some of the more “progressive” members of our board will sound old fashioned possibly even sexist though I don’t think it is):
First of all I am uncertain whether I should plan to marry or not. There are certain distinct advantages to remaining single most notably allowing myself to devote all my energy to God, the Nation, and my professional career. But than again the big problem about not being married is that you may “burn with lust” and easily sexually tempted. As for the qualities of a spouse I would certainly want a woman for starters. I would like a woman who is fairly intelligent (maybe not as much as me but still somewhat intelligent) and physically relatively attractive (though attractive as in graceful not as in sexy). I would prefer that she share most of my theological and socio-political views though that’s not on the top of my list. As for personality I’d want her to be kind, understanding, and rather “motherly”-which is why I wouldn’t be too surprised if I end with a wife a few years older than myself (though I wouldn’t marry a woman with a severe age difference-those tend to be dominating hags). In fact I probably don’t want a marriage where my wife dominates.
What I mean is your preferences seem reasonable, but limiting. You don’t know who you’ll fall in love with, and going out with a laundry list is probably a bad idea. If you stick slavishly to that list, you may get what you deserve for going out with that list, if that makes sense.
I was just thinking that I would like to have a husband that paid all the bills as if he lived here, and yet lived somewhere else, and came over for short visits occasionally. Any takers?
Good thing the Mr. has a thing for dominating hags or I’d still be single!!!
As to what I want in a spouse - well, I got it. He’s kind, sweet, smart, hunky, and does the laundry.
I suppose his ideal spouse must be a bitter old shrew who pushes him around, has a long hooked nose with a wart, a large hump and calls him dearie just as she’s about to push him in the oven.
AIW
(12 years older than her poor, dominated spouse)
BTW Curtis - the whole single thing might not be such a bad idea…
You could go for the “kept woman” scenario and just find someone else’s husband who would pay the bills in exchange for mind blowing sex. I’ve known one or two women who have made that arrangement work for them - but you have to have a backup plan - Sugar Daddies don’t tend to have 48 year old mistresses. And there is the whole questionable ethics.
I’m married. I wanted someone with a sense of humor, who was responsible - would hold a job and mow the lawn, who shared my most important values, who was thoughtful and generous, would make a good father, who was mature enough so that these things were fairly set. And who thought I was one of the most wonderful people on Earth.
The first time I married I hit the first one. The second time I got the entire shopping list.
I want to marry someone who loves to spend time with me exploring, creating, and learning. Assuming his family are good people, he (or she, because I’m bisexual, but I’m using ‘he’ for convenience’s sake) cares about his family and respects their traditions. We find each other attractive, in a way that becomes comfortable over time but doesn’t diminish as we get old. He likes animals and traveling, reads books, believes that the universe is ultimately a wonderful place to live in, has good hygiene, knows how to be honest without being critical, respects my decisions and expects the same respect from me, doesn’t force me into doing anything I feel uncomfortable with, is a good conversationalist, and for God’s sake, prefers me to World of Warcraft. He’s willing to comfort me when I’m panicked and to at least try my cooking even if I’ve made a horrible mess of it, and rarely if ever swears in front of my mother.
I talked to my husband and we agreed that we would a housewife (either sex will do). We’d like him/her to love cooking, cleaning, cats, and gardening. She/he can have their own room and bath. We require him/her to be cheerful, well-read, and dislike televised sports. Any age over 18 is fine, and as long as s/he is clean about thier person, that will be attractive enough.
This will leave us more time to devote more energy to our gods, hobbies, and careers.
Maybe. Maybe its an agreed upon arrangement between all parties that all parties are content with. Not my cup of tea, but I’m not going to throw stones at someone else’s happiness. One person’s “isn’t that perfectly normal?” is another persons “disgusting fetish.”
I want a wife that has her maternal instincts on overdrive since we korean men are notorious mama’s boys and can’t put on a pair of pants without the proper supervision and guidance of a woman. She would tend to the house and raise the kids while I attend to my manlier duties, like getting stupid drunk and ramming my car into a tree or something. And, no I’m not being ironic.
…Well maybe just a little bit. But seriously though, I want a woman that takes care of me basically. As I would take care of her. A symbiotic relationship. Things like religion/political affiliation are secondary. As long as she doesn’t stand too far on the spectrum on either side. I’m agnostic and it wouldn’t bother me if my kids were raised Christian/Muslim/Jewish/Whatever. They can come to their own conclusions.
