Gazelle
November 19, 2003, 3:02pm
1
What the boss sent:
Gazelle has accepted a Technical Writing position with another part of the company and her last day here will be Friday, November 28. This is a wonderful opportunity for her and one that she has been working towards for some time. I wish her well in her new adventures and thank her for her efforts here.
As a result a position in our group will be posted next Monday. If anyone is interested in discussing the position, please send me an email or stop by.
What the boss shoulda sent:
It is with heartfelt sadness and deep regret that I announce Gazelle’s departure from these hallowed cubes. I would list her myriad accomplishments for us, but this message would stretch to several pages. Words about her unflagging exuberance, downreaching humility, penetrating wit, boundless selflessness, and tireless work would be mere understatements. I must, however, mention the brilliance with which she executed Project X; her achievement on that alone merits canonization. My deep regret stems from turning down her request to be moved as far away from Joe Smith as possible; perhaps if I had granted that small favor, she would have been compelled to give us more of her valuable time.
On a personal note, I am forever indebted to Gazelle for saving my child (and several others) from a burning building earlier this year. Needless to say, I am thrilled that the Nobel committee is considering her for the Peace Prize.
Gazelle will begin her work as a Communications Consultant in 2004, after she takes a month-long sabbatical to teach hairstyling techniques to orphans in Tibet.
lieu
November 19, 2003, 3:05pm
2
Those Tibetan orphans have all the luck.
See? You are a brilliant writer! Happily deluded maybe, but that just makes you more fun. Hey, you can at least put your super hero-like accomplishments in your Christmas newsletter…
And congratulations some more!
lno
November 19, 2003, 4:34pm
4
You know, those Communications Consultants make real money. You could buy us lunch with that salary.
Just sayin’.
Gazelle
November 19, 2003, 4:41pm
5
Ino , you are cruisin’ for a bruisin’.
Thanks bowert , you incredibly supportive and sweet-ass Doper you!
Gazelle
November 19, 2003, 4:45pm
6
And lieu , yieu know I love yieu. ::big smooch::
Xgemina
November 19, 2003, 5:06pm
7
I noticed there was no mention of modesty in the second message…although there was that humility thing…
Congratulations on your new position!
Gazelle
November 19, 2003, 5:42pm
8
Definitely should have had something in there about modesty. Good call, Xgem .
