I have an adult daughter from a previous relationship. She was given up for adoption because I was not ready to be a father and the mom wasn’t any better. My daughter turned out great. Unfortunately, she lives in Colorado and I don’t have money to go visit so I only see her at Christmas. (we text and “facebook” and chat on the phone from time to time)
So I’m out Christmas shopping with my crazy wife who some of you may recall from previous threads. We’re spending a lot more than usual, because we wanted to get a couple of really nice gifts for our two little kids. We had a budget and a plan, but she kept trying to get more and more stuff and I had to keep saying no, it’s not in the budget. Finally, I asked her if she wanted to not get the more expensive items, and just get a lot of cheaper stuff. She pouted and agreed to get the big ticket items and not get the cheaper stuff. She kept complaining that I wasn’t being cheerful enough while trying to make our purchases and simultaneously keep things together financially.
Now I had planned all along to get a gift for my adult daughter, because that is what nomal people do, and I actually love her. She is a good person, and I’d like to give her something nice. I know she loves her iPhone and music, so I got her a $50 iTunes gift card. Anyway, my wife went fucking ballistic because I was too cheap to buy my ‘real’ kids a bunch of knick knacks, but would spend $50 on someone I don’t ever see and barely know. Keep in mind that we spent about $200 each on the kids, not counting clothes.
I don’t know how much more I can take. I slept in the car because when she gets like this, I can’t be in the house. I hate her and her goddamn personality disorder so fucking much.
I’ll probably have a few more stories after the holidays. I just hope none of them involve restraining orders, ambulances and psych wards. (for her-I’m not the one that loses it when I don’t get my way)
My husband should never be looking at me and thinking “crazy bitch”. Maybe he could be mad at me, or think I hurt him, or whatever, but I don’t ever look at him and say “crazy asshole”.
And we never sleep in the car (!!) because we’re angry.
Hi my name’s Darth Nader! You may remember me from some of my crazy wife threads such as “Hit Me With Her Car”, “Waved a Big Knife at Me And Went To Jail”, and the fan fave “Cops Made Made Me Sit On a Hill of Fire Ants While They Sorted That Shit Out.”
I’m sure you love her. Walk away.
Pack a bag and live at the Salvation Army for a few months if you have to.
Anaamika- I won’t be married to her for much longer. I want to set a good example for my kids and tolerating her shenannigans is not a good example. Her personality disorder makes it impossible for me to feel anything more tender than pity for her, and it frustrates me to no end. Leaper- We don’t fight in front of the kids. They are asleep before the fireworks start. Sometimes she tries to get a fight going while they are awake and if I can’t calm her down quickly, I leave. She hasn’t said or done anything to them in my absence. We are a toxic combination, but when I’m not there, she is somewhat able to keep things together. She picks them up from school and feeds them, usually without incident. Chimera- I know, I know. We have a meeting with a collaborative divorce firm next month. (she doesn’t know about it yet- she knows I want a divorce, but I haven’t told her about our appointment & don’t plan to till the kids are back in school.) Bup- We’ve been talking about divorce for years, much more seriously since this past spring. As fo what she did, it wasn’t anything like past incidents where she physically attacked me. She just screamed like I was breaking her limbs, even though I never touched her, threatened to touch her or made any move remotely like touching her. When the screaming started, I left. Moonlitherial- If I had time and energy, I could fill a whole forum with her irrationality. I spend a lot of time in therapy dealing with my own issues and defects, but a good fraction of my therapy is exploring coping strategies for borderline personality disorder. Look it up if you want to see fascinating and horrible examples of just how irrational people can be. Darth Nader- Sorry you had to go through all that. I’ll read your old threads in solidarity, and because misery loves company. There is another guy at my job who is going through a lot of the same stuff. Scary how prevalent it is, and how “under the radar” it stays. As for leaving-I can’t leave until I can take the kids with me. Will do so the next time she assaults me or attempts suicide again.
Purplehorseshoe- Won’t leave my kids because then the custody battle will be more difficult. The distinction is a fine one, because if you knew this woman, you would understand why it is imperative that I have the kids for as much time as possible. It’s for their own long term well being & emotional development and my own peace of mind. If that makes the correct phrase “won’t leave” then I WON’T leave until I can take the kids with me. So very, very sorry for the imprecise composition.
Oh. Well, I knew nothing about past incidents. Your OP could have described may marital arguments through the lens of a pissed off husband - at least, mine, in times past.
… isn’t your wife the one that broke a phone so you couldn’t call 911, and then came thisclose to killing herself in a way where the kids could’ve found her? Wasn’t that almost a year ago, and you’re STILL THERE???
How about taking the $450 (plus clothes) you just spent on the kids and getting the hell out of there??
