What the fuck are you people teaching your stupid kids?

The BBQ Pit
61

Short solution…was looking at books when two little house apes start running around throwing one of the 4 suard balls back and forth to each toehr and screaming at the top of their lungs while mom stood blissfully unaware in the next aisle.

After being hit twice and cross checked by the fat little fart without so much as a sorry, I waited. Little fart screeched to a stop and screamed to be thrown the ball right beside me.

I lean down right behind the little turd and whisper ‘hey kid’ in his ear as his friend delivers a hard overhand throw.

Just as I thought, attention diverted the jerk from actually catching the ball and he looked over his shoulder. THONG! Nationballed right in the jaw hard enough to hear the teeth clack on his tounge.

Tears flowed as he held his hands over his mouth and went trotting off to his mom with I am thinking his brother suddenly quiet. Sure he was muffling the howl, but at least they weren’t screaming anymore.

62

I’ve noticed a huge increase in this kind of Bratchild behavior in the last five-ten years. Personally, I think it’s caused by Society Parents. These people have children because they think that’s what society expects married people are supposed to do. They are the ones who don’t think about their actions before (or after sometimes) they do something. They just coast through life, where’er the wind may blow them, without taking charge or responsibility for whatever befalls them. All this is passed down to their overly indulged Bratchildren, leaving the rest of us to deal with the result of Mommy and Daddy being more interested in coasting through their own lives to take proper care of their children. But woe betide you if you dare to deal with this mess before the child is out of Mommy and Daddy’s grasp! How dare YOU expect their entitled Bratchildren to take responsibility for anything! Don’t you know it’s their accepted role to float through life without accepting the blame for anything?

I hope your neighbor holds BratMom and her BratChildren responsible for every single cent of the car repairs. I almost hope there was suspension damage to increase the cost to the perps.

(Slight hijack: does anyone else remember those L.M. Montgomery books where the characters had to deal with lazy parents? IIRC, those parents were shunned from polite society.)

63

I hope that the persaon takes them to court and makes them pay for it. Not just the parents but the kids would have to work it off in some way.

I have tried to teach my kids this kind of thing. But we run in to this kind of thing all of the time.

just so you know I think that I am trailer trash. So thats the only part I have issue with.

Best you can do it to do your best.

64

Oh, god, on the TCS board, there’s a thread about a kid with head lice who won’t let mommy touch him. So they said, “Let the kid go.”

One moron said they can’t get lice from him unless his head touches their’s.

Good god, stay away from me, you anti-social fucksticks!

65

Guin, thanks for that link – truly spine-chilling reading, that was. I liked the mom who was so relieved to learn from the TCS group that she didn’t have to make her daughter brush her teeth! I was reflecting for a while on the various ways that might play out long-term. What complete maroons – but there’s so many of them!

66

The “victim” neighbor worked something out with the brats parents. I don’t know what, but our video tape wasn’t need. (We’re keeping it anyway. The look on the faces of the 15+ people we’ve shown it to is priceless! Priceless folks, simply priceless!:wink: )

My brother thinks the reason there are so many “nice people who are shitty parents” is because the hippies of the 60’s had kids, and now their kids are having kids, and they can only parent the way they were parented. I’m sure that doesn’t apply to every case, but it makes some sense.
I’ve found that “over compensation” runs rampant in the single parent community. Junior doesn’t have a nuclear family so single mom/dad makes up for it by letting him get away with shit. (this is NOT an attack on all single parents. Just an observation of people I know).

You can love your kids very much yet punish them severly when they do wrong. You can love your kids very much and still be madder than hell at them when they misbehave. Love means admitting when your kids are wrong and doing something about it. This “not my kid” shit that so many parents are caught up in is one of the worst problems of our entire society. What really pisses me off is the way some adults treat children as equals! A child is not my equal and does not have the same rights or privileges as I do. And the law defines a child as anyone who has not yet reached their 18th birthday!(at least here it does). Yet some folks treat their kids like little adults, allowing them to do things and make decisions they should not be allowed to make! And when the kid fucks up instead of correcting the behavior they either try to blame someone/something else,(“they fell into a bad crowd”:rolleyes: ) or tell you to mind your own business. And what do we end up with?
A future asshole!!!

I don’t know who said it but:
“Never ask a kid what he wants for dinner unless he’s buying!”

67

SapphireWolf, I did almost the same thing. My 2 kids and I had just arrived home from shopping when I noticed the older one was hiding something. Pack of gum she’d taken from the store. We left the groceries where they were, got back in the car, returned to the store, with a lecture all the way on stealing. Went to Customer Service and made said child return the gum to the person in charge and apologize. Of course, she was an adorable little child (I’m not prejudiced, of course) and was crying, and the person in charge kindly said “Oh, that’s all right.” “It’s NOT all right!” I snapped. “She took something that doesn’t belong to her! Don’t tell her it’s all right!” “Well, do you want to pay for it, then?” “No,” says I, “She’s not going to get rewarded for doing something wrong.” “Well, don’t do it again.”

Message imparted. Some of us are still hanging in there, trying.

68

I guess people never paid attention in Psych 101.

If you want to influence someone’s behaviour, maximize the difference between what they get when they behave properly and what they get when they behave poorly. So simple, and yet it baffles the TCS folk.

69

This sounds like an inlaw of mine; she got divorced when her daughter was young, and has custody most of the time, with some visits granted to the kid’s father. She’s nearly always “discussed” things with her daughter, even when the kid was way too young to be making complex decisions and probably should have been told “this is how it is”.

The daughter is mostly a good kid, but her teenage years are nearly upon her, and it looks like this way of raising her hasn’t helped her avoid taking on the very bratty, spoiled behavior of the other kids at her school. She will sometimes completely mouth off to her mom and treat her like dirt, but won’t do that to my husband. When my husband confronted the girl about how she treats her mom, and asked why she doesn’t lip off to him, her response was very telling - “Because you’d come down on me like a ton of bricks.”

70

I support the Dogbert solution! People need a license to fish, drive a car or practice medicine. There should be testing before folks are allowed to procreate. Example:
When your child is jumping on the neighbors car do you:
a. Blame the neighbors
b. Cheer them on.
c. Apply swift, fair and firm discipline.
When your child steals and eats candy do you:
a. Ignore it
b. Ask where your share is.
c. Pay for the candy and make sure the child understands that it is not right to steal.
When your child beats up other kids do you:
a. Blame the other child
b. Chastise your child for not being violent enough
c. Take immediate action to stop your child from beating up others, and strongly consider counselling for you and your child.

Those who fail the test have to leave a couple of small body organs at the front counter on their way out.

71

Bingo!
I used to actually explain that if they wanted X and the answer was no, there was always a possibility – however remote – that at some time in the future the answer might change. However: If behavior was bad, i.e. temper tantrum, screaming, whatever, the chances had just changed to zero and the request would definitely not be granted. Occasionally had to be a baddie and make it stick. No, you misbehaved when you asked for that yesterday, so you’re not getting it today either.

Another trick: Sometimes you want a young person to do a helpful chore, such as pick up toys, help with dishes, clean something. But sometimes they don’t. Then later, they want you to take them somewhere or do something for them. I found that a great answer went along the lines of, "No, I don’t have time now. I would have been able to but I had to <insert name of neglected chore>. Similarly, if child had been rude, and then later asked for something, I might say, No, I only do favors for people who are nice to me.

72

You’re lucky it didn’t happen today. There’s a bully at school who enjoys yanking Matthew’s chain, unfortunately Matthew isn’t quite old or mature enough to internalize my advice on how not to let your chain be yanked, although I have been very, very proud of his composure and forebearance in dealing with this asshole. Anyhow, one day Matthew got completely frustrated at this kid’s taunts and said “I’m going to put you in an electric chair!” The school’s way to deal with the situation? Do they put a stop to the verbal taunting by the other boy? Do they seperate the kids into seperate classes? No, Ginger and I are called into school to deal with the “serious implications” of the “threat” that Matthew made, and Matthew gets sent home for the rest of the day. :rolleyes: We told him why what he had done was wrong, and he promised not to do it again, but come on. “Threat”??Who do they think they’re kidding? IF they showed me an electric chair, or Matthew attempting to build an electric chair, maybe I’d buy it was a “threat”, but absent that, I found the whole thing rediculous. Don’t these people remember what it’s like to be 8? Using their logic, if Matthew ever tells asshole child “My father can beat up your father”, Asshole child’s father would be given police protection, and I would be arrested for assualt.

73

If things had been this way when I went to school, they would do nothing all day but pull kids out of class and counsel them. How absolutely inane. It’s great that they take violance and potential violance seriously now, instead of dismissing it with,Kids (shrug) whata ya gonna do, huh? but anyone smart enough to teach can tell the differance between childish insults and real threats. (Did they pat him down for any hidden electric chairs?):rolleyes:

74

When I was in my pre-teens (I think) I lived with my mother, and saw my biological father about twice a year. My mom is one hell of a disciplinarian, she never had to lay a hand on me and I was scared shitless of her. When I was with her I was the “perfect child” never threw temper tantrums, was always polite, yadda yadda. My father on the other hand, couldn’t care less. He let me get away with anything (maybe it was guilt because I only saw him twice a year) and my brother lived with him. When I was with him I was the poster child for BRAT. I would like to go back in time and smack myself on some occasions. My father actually asked me one day why I acted like this with him, and that he knew I never pulled that kind of stuff on my mother. I told him it was because he let me get away with it. His parenting style never changed. :rolleyes:

My brother was the same. In fact, on one visit it appeared as if my brother had sort of taken the house “hostage.” My father couldn’t even do what he wanted in his own house, watch what he wanted on his own t.v, ect. because my brother didn’t want to. It was some seriously creepy shit. You could actually see it in my fathers face that he was scared of his own child/

Anyhoo, my point is that even if the same child (me) can fluctuate from “brat” to “good child” depending on the parent they’re with, the problem is not with the child, but with the parenting. I say this because i’ve also heard from alot of TCS (i’m guessing, from their parenting styles) parents, that it’s the child. One child never acted like this, but the other did, ect. ect.

75

Ugh. People really have gotten silly with things. Schools are incredibly ridiculous about such things, that’s why I’m homeschooled now. I nearly got expelled for writing a paper about how the government wastes money. :rolleyes: I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.

But, as far as kids being ridiculously uncontrolled, I tend to agree. I was taught to think on my own, but be respectful to everyone, regardless of age. After all, respect is earned, not given. I guess you could say I have a basic respect for everyone, and they can lose it if they don’t return it. I thought everyone was like that, until I moved further south, and discovered that the majority of people are rude and inconsiderate. Pretty depressing, I think.

76

I was just outside about half an hour watching my five year old daughter play with her friend who’s 4. I had to do a double take when I heard my daughter call her friend a “butt hole”.

My daughter does not normally use language like this.

I called her over and asked her what she had said and she confirmed that she had called her friend a butt hole. She told me that she had learned it from her little friend who I have heard using bad language, I have this girl’s parents about this in the past and it’s something she picks up from her older brother.

I sat her down and explained that this was bad language, inappropriate, and that they were mean words.

Her friend came over and I gave her the same talk.

I then told them that friends do not speak to each other this way and if I hear this language again, they will not be allowed to play with each other for a while.

Apparently, I have to the power to make small girls cry without raising my voice.

We live in a complex where there are many children and they know that they have to be on their best behaviour when they’re playing. All the parents here talk to each other and any inappropriate behaviour does not slide.

77

Something of an aside; I’m only 31, so I was a kid in the post-flower-child era. But when I was a kid, if I’d been a brat around, say, a friend’s parents, they would have torn a strip off me and hauled me back to my parents. And upon being presented to MY parents, would they have yelled at the other adults for touching their kid? Hell, no. They would have continued the kicking of my ass.

78

But see, it’s WRONG to WANT to influence their behavior! See, that’s coercion and coercion is bad, mmmkay?

:stuck_out_tongue:

I was on their mailing list for about a year under a pseudonym. It’s very tricky, because they’re EXTREMELY anal retentive about what you can and cannot post-half of your posts will be sent back, because they’re “Meta-discussing the post, not the subject”
(Which I think is just a way to avoid people calling them on the constant logical fallacies these morons spew!).

Anyhoo, after awhile, I learned to be the TCS Advocatus Diaboli, basically questioning and pointing out the flaws. It was sort of trolling, since I was only really doing it for shits and giggles, but I wasn’t being annoying, or disruptive.

I eventually left in disgust, though, because they started talking about two things: NAMBLA and cutting.

Basically, one person actually said a child should be able to decide to have sex with an adult!

And then, one mother wrote, asking for help, in desparation, about her daughter who was depressed and cutting. People said “No, don’t stop her, figure out ways to help her do this safely.”

Well, that was it. I couldn’t write to the mom herself, because she was on an anonymous e-mail, and the really anal rules. So I said fuck it and left.

It was fun to read, though. Six year olds who were not only still breast feeding but still wearing DIAPERS. Entire families infected with lice for weeks because Junior refused to let them do anything about it, so everyone got reinfected. Neighbors that wouldn’t talk to them, etc.

It was sick.

79

I went to a parenting lecture where the speaker said, that although researchers aren’t sure how they find out so young, part of the growing discipline problem in this country arises from the fact that kids know that if we so much as look at them crosseyed they can ruin our lives by calling 911 and calling us abusers. They aren’t afraid uf us punishing them because they know how to punish us worse. Horrifying!

I only remeber my mom spanking me twice. Once was when I almost burned the house down playing with matches in my closet AND lied to her about it with the match box tucked in my waist band. I don’t think I would’ve given me a time-out either.

Spanking wasn’t frequent but it existed as a possibility in our minds. Even more scary was the clenched teeth devil ventriliquism* With her lips barely moving my mom would say “If you do not stop that right now you will receive a punishment so bad I haven’t even thought of it yet.” I’ve asked since what she might have done. Apparently she had no plan. It had never ocurred to her to defy her mother and assumed (rightly) I wouldn’t either.

I have never spanked my son but I’m pretty fast to turn off the TV, take away the toy, lock up the bike or make him sit on the kitchen steps for two whole minutes - wanna make it three? Whattareya shootin’ for five now? If he were ever so ill behaved that someone in a store made a remark I’d be mortified. None of that, “How dare you discipline my child” crap from me

*thanks Jake Johannsen

80

Exactly.

To me, it isn’t so much spanking vs. time out-both can work or not work, depending on the situation.

It’s all in your ATTITUDE. If you do it half-assed, your kid will figure it out.