Yesterday morning at work I was in the cafeteria waiting in line to pay for my toast and sausage when this lady walked in front of me to get a straw. She kind of looked me up and down a couple of times and then came over to me and says this:
“I wish God had given me your body and given you my body because you are so skinny it just makes me sick.”
Then she left! WTF!! I’m sure as hell not gonna say Thank You to something like that because I personally take that as an insult! People are always coming up to me and saying “God, you’re so skinny!” Yeah I’m thin (I hate the word skinny) but I don’t think people need to constantly point it out to me. I don’t walk up to overweight people and say, “God, you’re so fat!” I just think it’s rude and it kind of hurts my feelings.
I’m sure a lot of women are gonna respond and tell me that I should just shut up and quit bitching about being thin but I’m not bitching about being thin. I’m bitching about people coming up and reminding me of the one thing that I’m self-conscience about, something that I have no control over. How am I supposed to respond when people say this kind of shit to me?
(imaginging Rachelle and a well-padded woman in a knock-down, hair-pulling, scratching grudge-match. of course Rachelle is the victor. :))
Seriously, though; there’s nothing wrong with a little self-righteous anger, or at least indignation, in a circumstance such as this. How you would express that is up to you, of course.
Or, you could tell her you are dying of cancer (give her a guilt trip).
Do you have kids? If so, turn to one within earshot and say, “See junior, I told you about poor white trash (insert appropriate insult here). Some people are so uneducated that they have to talk like that. It really shows a poor upbringing. We pity people like that.”
Um–just want to point out that it’s clear in my mind at least that the woman probably intended it as a sort of left-handed compliment. In some parts of the world, that’s how girls talk in school. “God, Ashley, your hair is so perfect it just makes me sick.” This is the compliment form. If you go on to enlist the support of someone else and add, “Britney, doesn’t Ashley’s hair just make you sick?”, then it becomes also an expression of envy rather than just a straightforward compliment.
Was this woman about your age, or much older, or younger?
Also, I think she was saying, “God, I wish I were as skinny as you are, and I resent the fact that you can eat toast and sausage and never gain an ounce, while I’m sitting here drinking 4 ounces of grapefruit juice through a straw to make it last longer, so maybe I won’t be starving by 10:00 a.m. like I usually am.”
Do people tell you all the time that you look thin? Maybe that’s just because there are a lot of people out there who hate the fact that they can’t lose weight, and they envy you your thinness. No response is required for these people, just smile vaguely and go on with what you were doing.
Hell no I’m not going to tell you to shut up. I want to tell that outspoken, tactless, bitter bitch to shut up. And maybe throw some fat jokes at her–not that I normally think they’re okay, but sheez, she welcomes it.
Best reaction: (sweet smile) “Oh, thank you! You are too kind.” (smile and walk away)
People who make such ridiculously inappropriate comments are looking to cause a negative reaction in you. The best thing you can do is deny them that. Then it’s amusing to watch them react. Bri has a roommate who was constantly trying to push my buttons; he’s just that kind of guy. My reaction was simple nonchalance, then pushing his button: penis size. He hated that, and after while, gave up his little game with me.
This woman needs help. What stinks is her words still stung, and understandably so. They’re outrageous. FWIW, she sucks. You, however, are the coolest.
I was thinking the exact same thing. For example, at my school, people frequently say to me, “You’re so smart it’s disgusting.” I know these people personally, and they are not being mean at all. Not to mention, the woman did say she wished she had your body; she’s evidently jealous of you.
In today’s world, pencil-thin models are considered highly attractive. (Ever hear of Calista Flockhart?) Even if you were pencil-thin, there are many people who would say it’s a good thing. I’m sure the woman’s intentions were to compliment you.
Believe me, if people frequently say these things to you, I wish I was as thin as you too.
Just look at her and say, in a very puzzled voice,
“Why would you say such a thing?” If she starts
explaining, keep asking “Yes, but why would you
say such a thing?” until she gives up.
I know that when people says things like this to me they are meaning it as a compliment but I don’t think they understand how their words affects me. I have mirrors in my house, I know that I’m thin, I don’t need to be reminded of it all the time. Why others feel the need to point out the obvious is beyond me.
And it’s not so much the fact that they tell me I’m thin, it’s the way they say it, “You’re so skinny!” That’s what I don’t like. I think if you’re going to compliment someone it should be said in a nice way. They don’t realize that it hurts my feelings to be told that I’m skinny. (Such an ugly word) I’ve been told that all my life, from the time I was 10 years old I’ve had to deal with it. I’ve even had people ask me if I’m anorexic!! My ex-husband’s mother asked him that after she met me for the first time. He told her, “No she’s not. You should see how much she eats when we go out. She’s costing me a fortune!”
Chief - That’s a good one! As much as I’d love to say that I don’t want to be shitty and sink to their level. If I were to say that she’d think I was a “skinny bitch.” (which I am)
I’ll make you up a deck of Snide Retorts to Insensitive Remarks flash cards. You can keep them in your purse, and pull them out when you need them – like Mace.
If dolt gets offended, blame Wally for the comment.
What ever happened to just smile vaugely and move on? If I went postal on everyone to told me I was fat (since 13, it’s not my fault) The world would have a LOT less population, trust me. I’d have a murder count in the thousands.
People usually don’t tell fat people that they’re fat. Most people have been taught that it’s rude and it hurts that person’s feelings but no one gives a second thought to telling a thin person that they’re “skinny.” It’s just another one of life’s double standards I guess. I usually do just smile and move on though because I can’t ever think of something to say back. (nothing nice anyway)
She was an insensitive <well, I’d say female dog, but that would be insulting the dog>. I have to admit to being envious at times of women who are slimmer than I am <probably 80% of the population>, but I would never be so crude to any of them. <Unless of course they dare to gripe at me about being fat and needing to lose weight, but that’s another story altogether.>
Kill her with kindness. Or, remember: if you can’t dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with Bulls***.
You are what you are, and if you don’t have to watch carefully every bite you put in your mouth, then you are blessed IMO. Stand tall, and be proud of the wonderful, kind person you are. Your slimness is their problem, don’t make it yours.
And, Chief, I’d love some of those flash cards! I could really use them around here. And, I want proof of your skinny ass. Send pictures. <oops, did I really say that out loud?!>
<mini rant>Rachelle, I hate to tell you, but a lot of people do make nasty comments about overweight people, I should know. And for every one who says something, there are at least 20 more who give you that ‘look’. The one that says “Well, if you didn’t eat so much, you wouldn’t be fat in the first place.” People, get a grip. Better yet, get a life. I have a weight problem because my thyroid died, and my body often has a hard time with the synthetic hormone they give me so I can continue to live. Heck, ask my kids, they can out-eat me without half trying. </mini rant> Forgive me.
Forgiven, PB, and I know where you’re coming from. When I was in the AF with only 5 months to go till my discharge, I was in a car accident that hyperextended my right knee, broke my left leg, three ribs, my left arm, and I hit my head so hard I’m supposed to wear glasses now (although I usually don’t – I see well enough without them, my left eye is 20/20, the right eye is 20/70). Needless to say, I didn’t get much excercise for a while, being in a wheelchair, then crutches, then having to do physical therapy and using a cane. (All better now, though). When I came home and all my friends saw how much weight I had put on (they hadn’t seen me in over a year), I got a bunch of, “What happened to you?” and “Damn, you let yourself go, didn’t you?”
I loved the look on their faces when I told them what happened and they started trying to back-pedal their way out of it.
So don’t sweat it, Rachelle, there’s nothing you can do to stop other people from being ignorant. It’s not your fault if you have a high metabolism or whatever the reason may be.
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