Getting cash from the ATM at work I somehow managed to leave $20 lying there. I’m not sure how I did that but I was fortunate that the guy right behind me chased me down to give me the cash.
Last Sunday, I’m mowing the back yard. I’m almost done, when when WHAM, something dense and fast whacks my shin hard. I look down at the blood running over my shoe, and glance around for what hit me. I see a small, shredded, circuit board lying a few feet away. It’s not the piece that hit me, it’s not heavy enough. But it’s probably part of the same object.
“What (expletive deleted) leaves a piece of electronics lying around in my (expletive deleted) BACK YARD so I can run it over with the mower?” I ask the neighborhood in a reasoned, well mannered tone.
I feel my hip for my work-supplied BlackBerry and realize: oh, I’m that (expletive deleted).
On the bright side: New BlackBerry!
On the not-so bright side: My leg still hurts.
I collected the remains in a futile search for the sim card. After looking at them, it’s obvious the battery was what hit me in the leg. It got propelled out of its home by the blade hitting it directly in the center; with the blade neatly cutting through the center of the circuit board and the mount for the sim card on its trip. I collected most of it before assuming the polystyrene sim card was either pulverized or sliced into uselessness, anyway.
Wanna see what a BlackBerry looks like after it’s been run through a mower?
Hell yeah. Post some pics!
(After last week’s ep of Mad Men I gots me some morbid curiosity.)
I did that once when there was no one else around. The machine sucked the money back in (without re-crediting it) and I was able to get it from the bank later.
Yes!
Banks are skeezy and take every opportunity to fuck over their customers? Who’d’a thunk.
I broke my right little toe a few weeks ago. Last night I was walking through my living room and broke that same toe again.
On a shoe.
I just need to ‘say’: :eek:
And at least you did it out of omission of label-reading, rather than thinking that ‘those should work great together, two chemicals on one problem!’
Hurts like a bitch, doesn’t it? I did mine on the heating fintube in the kitchen. The best part is that it will continue to bother you for many years to come. At least I learned to wear slip-on shoes in the house after that, unlike some people. 
Llast night, for at least the 100th time, I forgot to remove the smoke detector in the motorhome prior to frying food. You’d think that after four months of living in this thing, we would remember that cooking almost anything = smoke detector shrieking bloody hell.
This is the third time I’ve broken it. I hate wearing shoes in the house, but it looks like I’m at least going to have to wear slippers, or start paying attention to where I’m going.
I started a similar thread a couple of years ago with some old stupid. Here’s some new stupid.
Last summer, my wife–a full time teacher–decided that she wanted to get a job at The Container Store. Not because we need the extra money; she just wanted the employee discount. This discount includes 50% off of Elfa shelving. We badly need to organize our closets (and our lives in general) so this is a pretty good thing. As a new employee she actually got 60% off for a limited time, so a couple of weekends ago we decided to re-do our hall closet, which doubles as a pantry and linen closet.
These are custom, modular shelving systems that you go into the store to design, then they give you all the components, and you take it home and install it. This requires you to, of course, measure the closet. They need width, height, depth, door width, and door to wall width on both sides of the door. I took these measurements very carefully and wrote them down. Unfortunately, with the sliding door and all the existing shelving in the way, I couldn’t measure all the way across. No problem: I have the door width, and the door-to-wall width on both sides, so I’ll just add them up. Fifty-five inches and a fraction for the door, fourteen and a fraction on the left, one and a fraction on the right. Easy, right? You’d think so.
We go in, design our closet, get everything cut, and go home to tear out the existing closet. Spend a weekend demolishing everything, patching up the drywall, sanding, painting and everything else. I then go and grab the top track, which goes along the top of the closet and from which the entire carefully designed custom system hangs, and discover that 55 + 14 +1 does not, in fact, equal 80.:smack:
On another subject, I’m surprised that so many remote key systems actually allow you to lock the doors when they’re open. My Civic’s doors will not lock, remotely or manually, when the door is open, which makes it pretty damn difficult to lock your keys in the car; you’d pretty much have to deliberately leave a window open enough to slip the keys in but not enough to reach in and flip the lever, lock the door, then throw your keys through the window. It seems like such a simple solution, I’m surprised that all car manufacturers don’t do that. (I should note, incidentally, that as hard as it is to lock my keys in my car, it is fantastically easy to lock them in the trunk.)
My friend at his old workplace, a swimming pool, had acid-based and base-based detergents to clean the tiles from calcium deposits and general stuff. They were used alternativly to keep the germs from getting used to and maybe resistant to one kind.
One cow-orker could not be convinced that by pouring acid-based and base-based detergent together he wasn’t saving time instead of doing it seperatly.
As for the chlorine gas: happens all the time when housewifes don’t read the label, though they often have at least the excuse of not knowing enough chemistry. But I remember my ecological household guide warning me of how easy this happens because many of the strong toilet cleaners contain chlorine acid for disinfection and the normal household cleaners have ammonium inside.
Either you have no plastic pipes at all, which in my experience is unlikly - the part between the toilet and the wall is usually plastic, including the U-bend which loves to get clogged, or you have never seen the video of what happens when you pour Drano or similar highly concentrated acids into there? I know that the theory is: the acid will dissolve the clog and then dilute and everything will be fine again.
However, what happens in real life is: the acid encounters the clog, piles up, reacts with a small amount of water = high heat (up to 80 C); plastic doesn’t like the heat = melted pipe. (And still clogged).
Have you tried a small metal snake?
Bad system. German ATMs, if you don’t grab the money from the cash slot in a certain interval of a few minutes, will suck it in again, but put it into a seperate drawer. So once you realize you left your cash in the machine, you call the bank clerk and tell them. They open up the machine and if they find your amount in that special drawer, they know it’s correct.
Nothing that is as spectacularly funny as some of what I’ve read (my memory is merciful to me, apparently) but:
- Purchase bottle of juice from vending machine.
- Shake bottle to mix up any settled solids
- Open bottle.
It’s not a good idea to mix up the second and third steps. :smack:
(in my own defense, I had just returned to work after a 24 hour bug that had everything exiting in all directions… so I was not at my sharpest).
Back in college, I had three ferrets. For those who aren’t around them much, they nearly always poop and pee in corners. Why, I have no idea, but they’re consistent about that, if nothing else.
On an unrelated note, I had walked into my bathroom one day and noticed that the floor needed to be cleaned and particularly in one corner by the sink. “Gee,” I thought. “It’s terribly dirty. Probably needs to be disinfected, too. Might as well get the bleach, so I can clean and disinfect at the same time.”
I quite literally poured straight bleach onto the floor. Promptly discovering that a ferret had peed there rather recently. Promptly also discovering why it was that people were always blathering on and on about not mixing bleach with ammonia.
:smack:
:smack::smack::smack::smack::smack:
My podiatrist advised me to ALWAYS wear some sort of footwear, indoors or out, to help alleve and prevent plantar fasciitis. I don’t like it either, but a pair of topsiders is always at hand now.
This morning I filled in and printed out two claim forms for reimbursement for flu vaccinations. Attached the receipts, stuck them in the envelope, stamp, address, DONE! Except for that whole signing of the form thingy. Luckily, this RV park has a mail drop and not a mailbox, so I was able to retrieve the envelope and carefully re-open it, thus saving a stamp. Win!
Similarly, when you do a ctrl-C on one computer, and then a ctrl-V on the other one sitting right next to it, you don’t get the results you expect.
I’ve no idea what the system was - this was about 15 years ago, it might have been the same as the German system. The bank certainly didn’t put up any fight.
I did something similar a few months ago… but with a big cylindar of toner for a B&W printer/copier. :smack:
I decided not to dirty the ice cream scoop and just use the spoon I would be eating with. Apparently it gets quite cold when scooping ice cream, and bonds to your lip when you go for that clean-off-the-scoop bite. A fully-formed adult might patiently wait for it to warm up, but I went ahead and pulled off part of my lip instead.
But you didn’t spill the water.
reminds me of Seinfeld the Andrea Doria survivor – “Astonishing Tales of Costanza”.
<<In closing, these stories have not been embellished, because - they need no embellishment. They are simply, horrifyingly, the story of my life as a short, stocky, slow witted bald man. Thank you. Oh, also… my fiancee died from licking toxic envelopes that I picked out. Thanks again.>>