OK, this is not a comprehensive list, just a brief rundown of the ones I’ve seen lately that made me want to shriek:
The truck commercial where the guy asks to borrow his neighbor’s truck and the neighbor comes up with all these scenarios why the guy might want to borrow his truck (off-roading, hauling a huge piece of machinery, etc.), and the guy says, “No, it’s just to haul an antique sewing table”, and then the truck owner turns his garden hose on the guy. Ha ha, because anyone who would want to cart around a sewing table is a nancy boy who deserves to be sprayed with a hose, get it? Get it? Yeah, hilarious.
Any diamond commercial (i.e., all of them) that implies that women are only out for one thing – a diamond engagement ring – and that if they don’t get it, they will dump your sorry ass for someone who will give it to them.
Carrot Top. Need I say more?
Another car commercial, this one showing a guy whose little girl has just brought home one of those “My child is an honor student” bumper stickers. Except his car is so nice that he can’t bear to put the bumper sticker on it and mar its perfect finish, so he suggests smilingly to his beaming daughter, “Why don’t we put that on Mommy’s car?” What an asshole.
Well, I actually did something about a commercial that bothered me. Text of a letter I mailed on Monday:
I just want them to know that for every person they think they acquire through their advertisement, they can also lose them if they pull low-brow stunts like this…
Come to mention it - and to mention those Drugs Cause Terrorism ads - National Geographic says here, that millions in Serra Lione diamond profits were funneled into bin Laden’s organization. (And that they claim none of those diamonds were sold in the US, despite the fact that they’re pretty much untracable. Kind of like drugs.)
I can’t watch that one, not sure if it’s AOL or some other ISP, where the kids are singing a song about keeping in touch with Uncle Bob and various other family members. It’s cringe-inducing.
I HATE that new AOL commercial. Airhead:“AOL is already installed on most computers, just look on your desktop and click.”
Basically they are saying “You are too fucking stupid to know what is on your computer.”
Who leaves that preinstalled AOL junk on thier PC anyway? (besides those who actually plan to use it) Most people delete that junk, or at least the shortcuts, right after installing windows or buying the PC.*
And waht is that BS about AOL being “easy”? I have used AOL, and it is not easier to use than a real ISP. AOL may have been easier to use back when it first started out, but since Win95 dialup networking came along that has not been true.
And the wondeful features! Multiple Email adresses OOOH! advanced :rolleyes: Non-standard email system. WOOHOO WOW, an instant messanger that is inferior to the free version! Only $5-$10 more a month than other dial-up companies. I’ll sign up right away!
*This reminds me of another thing that pisses me off. Why do Some PC Companies [sub]ahem Compaq[/sub] set up thier systems to run so many programs at startup that the computers run extremely slow? Then they pay phone support people to tell customers how to remove all the junk that comes preinstalled.
I also hate just about all of those weight-loss product commercials. Do people actually beleive those claims? Do people buy from ads that have small print that contradicts everything the announcer says?
Hmm, this post turned into a huge wandering rant. Oh well, I’m posting it anyway.
I get angry every time I hear the one that ends with the line (something like) “Be sure to get the perfect diamond now, you’ll have a lifetime to build the perfect husband.”
On behalf of men everywhere, .FUCK YOU, DEBEERS.
And to the ladies, if he ain’t the way you want him now, save both of you the anguish and go find someone else, 'kay?
The Pepsi commercials with the annoyng curly-haired little girl - especially when she speaks with someone else’s voice.
The car ad where it’s driving through a quaint European town and the quaint Europeans townfolk follow it with slack-jawed stares. To add injury to insult, the tune is Jethro Tull! (I think the car is called Sonata. Jethro Tull? WTF?)
This is along the same lines as the Mentos commercial.
The wireless phone company that has Jamie Lee Curtis pitching for them has these ads where she is duct taping phones to people. A father sends his underage daughter out dancing dressed like a hoochie coo, but she’s taped to a phone, so it’s okay.
A guy asks her name in the club and the father says, “her name is illegal minor”. She then fools the father by holding the phone by a speaker in the back of a car playing the same club song while enjoying some horizontal recreation.
Great, are they promoting statutory rape or something? WTF are they thinking?
I think we can agree that all telephone company ads suck.
-Verizon’s “Can you hear me?” as well as the “Think outside the box!” ones;
-VoiceStream’s “I’ve got so many minutes I’ll use my $60 cordless as a dog toy!” as well as the aforementioned “HER NAME IS ILLEGAL MINOR!”;
-Sprint’s “You thought I said something ridiculously stupid when I was really telling you something of the utmost importance!” commercials;
and my personal least favorites, MLife. From the pointless keep-you-in-suspense Superbowl ads (did anyone else think “Gabbo” when they saw em?) to the new one where the girl cuts all the thumbs off of her gloves. WHY DOES SHE CUT THE THUMBS OFF? WHY? WHY?!?!
“An indivual…like Dr Pepper” Message-Be unique and an individual, by BUYING A MASS_PRODUCED-BRAND_NAME_PRODUCT! The same goes for that series of Dodge ads “Do not follow. Do not conform. Be different”
The Wall Street Journal has ads which tell us that just holding the paper will instantly make us rich. This is an acceptable message in a lottery ad, not an ad for a financial publication.
Re-“Her Name Is Illegal Minor” I also have a problem with this ad. Specifically, the hootchie in the rubber dress does not have enough screen time. I don’t want to see the father or the boyfriend. Unless Jamie Lee’s in a rubber dress, I don’t want to see her either. I want to see the model in the rubber dress. If you’re going to use someone as a sex object, then make the most of it.
On a similar note, I'd like to see an Hebal Essence ad where Dr Ruth finally gets a shampoo. What's the message here? It's funny to put her in our ads but we think depicting in a sexual situation would be icky? Or are they saying that the renowned-sex-expert is too stupid to say "urge" and get pleasured by 4 Chippendales? It's Dr Ruth for God's sake! We know she has a brain. We know she has a healthy sexual appetite. Yet she has not once tried to get shampooed.
This rant from my web page addresses the Butternut Bread ads (“As much calcium as fourteen ounces of milk!” Hot damn! I can eat a whole pound of bread, and get just as much Ca++ as I would from a good sized glass of milk!) and the two separate ads that centered around the difficulty of cooking Campbell’s Tomato Soup.
I am mortally offended every time I see a DeBeers ad. Fortunately for me, my girlfriend/fiancee is as well.
Lib–
I come from a long tradition of good country cooking, and that’s exactly why these ads piss me off–they mock the idea of cooking for your family as a labor of love. “You really love your kids, and you want to serve them something good that comes from the heart. With these new frozen rolls, you can half-ass it!”
Plus, part of the appreciation for my mother’s cooking was my realization of the fact that she taught school, and thus did not always have the time/energy/inclination to cook a four-course feast. She was no less of a woman or mother for that, despite what these commercials would like her to believe. In fact, this combination of good culinary guidance and an often unoccupied kitchen is what spurred me to take up cooking myself around the age of fourteen, and at 26, I’m a damn good cook. (I was going to make a career out of it if the med school thing tanked.)
The Garth Brooks/Dr Pepper ads confused me. What motivation could Garth possibly have for doing these ads? I’ve heard him say in interviews that he already has far more money than he or his children or their children could ever spend. It isn’t like he needs the exposure.
Could it be that he just honestly, deep in his heart, wants to lend his support to the fine product that is Dr Pepper?
Back when I did tech support for Compaq ('95-'96) we charged $35 per case to fix problems that were not caused by an actual failure of the system. If you didn’t want to pay, we’d tell you to run the QuickRestore CD, which would reformat the HD and put the computer back to the way it was out of the box. Of course, most people didn’t want to delete everything they had accumulated on their computers, so they would end up giving us their credit card numbers (though we did refund the $35 if troubleshooting revealed that it was a problem with the computer or preinstalled software).
One of the biggest issues at the time was related to a program that came preinstalled on all our Presarios, called LaunchPad. LaunchPad was basically a program to allow your kids to play with the computer without the risk of messing anything up - it restricted them to a few programs like Paint and such and you had to enter a password to get out of it. If you tried to reboot the machine it would just boot back into LaunchPad. A large percentage of callers we got were adults who clicked on it to see what it was, typed something in when it asked for a password, and then could not remember what they typed to get out of it. We’d bill them, reboot the computer into Safe Mode, do SOMETHING (I can’t remember the exact fix), and then reboot again. Presto, we fixed their problem in 5 minutes and the company made $35.
Good point, DoctorJ. My opinion has changed. Thanks. I love seeing things in new ways, and people like you, who take the time to share their reference frame, thus enrich my life.
Kid dejectedly looks into lunchbag day after day, getting gloomier and gloomier over the prospect of yet another PBJ and an apple.
Until that Golden Day when Mom FINALLY gets with the program and puts a Lunchables box in there! YES!!! Fist-pumping and high fives follow.
Yes, if you truly loved your kids you’d pump 'em full of fat and nitrites. Otherwise you’re just a cheap, heartless, selfish bastard/bitch for giving your kid a real home-made lunch.
There was an ad for cheese, i beleive, that had a ten year old boy and girl, sitting by each other in lunch, and he gave her his cheese, and they liked each other, which was fine, except the music playing was “Let’s get it on” The last thing i want to see is two ten year olds going at it!
