…that I said the words you chose?
Been up three hours.
Haven’t said a word yet.
“I’m OK, how are you?”
This was said to my husband. For some reason, ever since the beginning, when he first notices that I’m awake (he’s almost always awake first), he asks me how I am.
“Can I have it round the back, please?”
Groceries delivery - still half asleep and said it without thinking. :o
“Quit chewing on your leg. Ugh. You need to go out? Nnughn. Okay, okay, I’m moving, hold on.” Standing up, the dog seems to think standing in front of the bedroom door, so I can’t open it is the quickest way to annoy me. “C’mon pup, let me open the door.” Repeat at outside door. Stand there while she looks at the backyard for a couple minutes. “Oh, you just wanted breakfast…”
Remember the days before my sister asked me to take her dog because she couldn’t have one at her new place…remembering how I could wake up on the weekends…when I woke up. Groan more, until I’m awake enough to take a p*ss without spraying the wall/floor. Try to go back to sleep. Fail, because dog is awake and doesn’t see any reason to go back to sleep until I’m fully awake. Then she sleeps the remainder of the day, as needed. :dubious:
“Pills and a washcloth”
About 4:30 this morning, I woke up with the beginnings of a nasty migraine. When I bolted out of bed, my husband wondered what I was doing. Headache’s gone now.
The first words out of my mouth today were “good afternoon!” I was, in fact, still in bed when I spoke those words. :smack:
That’s… heartbreaking. 
I* think* the first coherent words was “Okay, okay, I’m up!” Not entirely sure, though.
“Aah, ok”. In response to “Would you please take the diagrams out of your bag”? The electrician was coming over and I was going to forget and take the diagrams we made to work. I am sure sweetie spent half the night up worrying about that.
Not as interesting as “What the fuck day is it.” To the TV weather man who was commenting on the weather that we ***had ***on Sunday.
What the hell?! Dammit, there’s a bird in the house. David, I need your help! Goddamn cats!
[sub](One of our cats went out through the dog door, and came back with a bird. David is my stepson, and chief animal wrangler around these parts.)[/sub]
Probably “Get the fuck out of the way, Butch.” Butch is our cat, a fecophilic who can’t bear to not be in the bathroom with me…
Joe
Seriously?
I talk to myself constantly. Not to myself, actually, but to the cats, the universe, the dumbass on the Stern show, just constantly. No conversations, just… observations. Am I nuts(er than everyone else)?
Joe
God I hurt or shit. I don’t know which was first.
“Wait- gotta go pee.”
To my wife, who was waking me up with a handjob.
“Aww - thank God” *
After realizing that breaking up with my girlfriend was only a dream.
*Even though I’m agnostic :dubious:
“I want to redeem this coupon for two eat and cheese bagel sammichs, no meat, and a medium coffee with cream and one Splenda. To go.” Said at McDonald’s.
Laying in bed, looking at my GFs face as she opened her eyes, “Good morning, darling.”
Yeah, I’m corny like that. 
“What are you squeaking about? Get off my pillow.”
“Morning” to someone I passed in the parking lot at work. I live alone and didn’t run into my neighbors this morning.
Qiyamat qiyamat a tawil’