It is compounded by my rommate horror story posted here, but there’s more to it than that.
Anyway, when i am SAD a weird set of thoughts run through my mind.
I have started a list of all the things that one can never know in a lifetime, there’s no way to find out. For example
I will never, ever get to see a list of comments that drivers on the road have made about my driving. Wouldn’t that be nifty if you could have a list, see how many drivers have sweared at you in your life, what sort of cuss words they came up with to describe you, how many assumed i was male… All these totals i will never know
Sometimes I wonder how many times Robert Smith has made that “WEEEEEEOOOOOOO” noise in his life. Even he doesn’t know that one
I will never know how many pounds of food I have consumed in my life.
How many times I have been kissed
How many people have had a crush on me without my knowledge
How many hours I have spent waiting in lines
How many hours I have spent on the toilet
God, I do get weird when I’m SAD.
As you can see, i like numbers. I was wondering if maybe when you die you get the answers to all your surveys.
This is going to sound so sappy, but I’ll never know if I could have been a dancer. When I was a kid, I wanted more than anything to take ballet, but my folks couldn’t afford it. I checked out books from the library and taught myself the hand and feet positions, and I read about steps and leaps and all that ballet stuff. I got hand-me-down tutus and slippers from my babysitters and I’d swipe Mom’s classical record albums and put them on my crappy little record player and dance my heart out in the basement. I finally got to take a ballet class in college for PE credit, but by then I was too old and overweight to even fake it.
Still, I feel it inside sometimes. There’s a NEED to express myself that where words don’t suffice, and a frustration that I can’t do it. I’ve had a great life, but I still feel something missing… it saddens me.
The biggest sorrows of my life are that I will never
know what it is like to have someone love me (not
my parents or my ex) and what it is like to have
a job you enjoy doing.
I will never know:
What my dad was really like. All I have is what others tell me (mostly my mom and she acts like she didn’t like him all that well) and the fuzzy memories of a five year old.
From what I do know, however, I think I am like him and that is a comfort.
What its like to actually see my sons come into the world. I regret this one almost as much as the first. They were both c-sections and while I understand many times hospitals will allow a mirror for this, mine refused. As many c-section moms can tell you, as soon as the kid is out they hold him up for about 5 seconds and say “Here he/she is!” then whisk the babe away for testing etc. If I could go back, I would have raised more hell about getting to hold or at least see my babies right after birth.
Turpentine, I know alot about feeling generally mopey, so take one of these {{{Turp}}}, they usually make me feel better. Oh, and get some ice cream.
…how the HELL David Copperfield hooked Claudia Schiffer…
SaxFace - I though Jimmy was under the 20 at the Meadowlands at the north end? He vanished when they were doing cement work, didn’t he? Dave Jennings said it added new meaning to the term “coffin corner punt”
…my father’s father. He died before I was born. Recently, though, I’ve been finding out more about him.
…my mother’s father’s reaction to the Internet. He died when I was 14 or so, just before I got to the stage where I could have had some interesting conversations with him.
As an old-time activist and crusader for social justice and compassion, he would have been fascinated and appalled by the net and the stuff that comes across it these days. Grampa, it’s been over twenty years, and I miss you still.
…whether I could have built a good life with a certain woman, whom I didn’t have the courage to ask out in 1984.
I keep in touch with her, and the beauty of her marriage and family is a source of hope to me. Yes, it is possible to marry and raise a family, and do it with grace, strength, and compassion. (Thank you, Anna-Marie, for showing me this.)
Later I ran across indications that we might have been more compatible than I first thought. Bur still later, as I started learning about the struggle and hard work of relationship (and I am just beginning to learn this even now), I seriously wonder whether I would have had any chance at all of living up to a demands of a Real Relationship 15 years ago…
…and lastly, I will never know the joy of being a teenage millionaire. I’m 37.
I’ll never know my paternal grandmother. She died last year, and it was only at her funeral that I realized that as the youngest child of the youngest child, I never learned much about the life of the amazing woman I was mourning. I only knew her in her decline.
lurkernomore - Re: Jimmy being buried at Meadowlands. He’s also buried in Yankee Stadium and in the swamps near Newark. I don’t think we’ll ever know. Sigh.
Annie: I, for one, can identify with your post…at least the former part (I actually do like my job).
As for some other things I will never know:
1a) Why those three bozos were wandering around with a jug of HCl, back when I was 4 years old.
1b) Why they singled me out to play their little ‘joke’ on.
Why my father was an alcoholic.
Why my parents got divorced.
Why my mother never kept in touch after the divorce (my brother and I were dropped of with my father’s parents when I was about 7-ish; I haven’t seen nor heard from my mother since).
[well worn soap box] FairyChatMom - please take some belly dancing classes. You cannot be too old or too overweight to belly dance. BD welcomes dancers of all body types, and many of our premiere dancers are 40+ and still incredible performers. Our premiere male belly dancer is 81 years old :eek: and still teaching seminars and performing! In addition, you have a much greater opportunity to express yourself than you would have ever had in ballet or other western dance forms. Also unlike ballet, you don’t have to get started when you’re still in diapers - BD works with the natural movements and rhythms of the body, instead of contorting it.
If you’re interested, check out Shira.net for a fairly comprehensive list of teachers
[/well worn soap box]
You mean you didn’t buy the rumors that he hired her to pretend to be his girlfriend?
As for me, I will never know (and would love to) what people really think about me.
well. I happened to have grown up about 4 or 5 miles away from where he disappeared and was home that summer.
Mr. Hoffa was last seen in the parking lot of the “Red Fox” restaurant, located on Telegraph Road and 15 mile (I’m pretty sure it’s 15 mile, might be 16 mile tho). in Oakland County, MI. Couldn’t tell ya which city it is 'cause they all blend together around there.
All damned summer, every single night on the news, the “teaser” would be “More on the Jimmy Hoffa disappearance, exclusive interview at 6!” and they’d stick a microphone into some one’s face and they’d say “yep, we still don’t know anything.”
I will never know what my loved ones (who have passed on)thought of me, or if they knew just how much they meant to me and how much they were loved by me
Remember, everyone, tell those you love that you do love them ,and let them know how much they mean to you.
It would be a wonderful gift.
Male belly dancers??? I thought that belly dancing was a female thing only… though I have to admit that I know very little about it. Thinking about it though, I sense that it might be very good to learn it.
Any relevent links? Otherwise, it’s back to Google…
