What would a heavy metal t-shirt for a twee band look like?

My band, who play cute indie pop in a Belle-and-Sebastian-meets-Tiger-Trap kind of style, think it would be fun to have a t-shirt that, from a distance, looks like one of those 80s metal band shirts. I’m sure you’ve seen these; they’re usually black and have some totally over-the-top graphic that’s supposed to look super badass.

We’ve got a FOAF artist lined up who does deliberately ridiculous “badass” imagery: a tiger made of fire battling demons with machine guns inside a volcano, for example.

But now, after convincing my bandmates that this is a good idea, I can’t think of what the graphic should actually be. I have the Def Leppard font for our band name, but the only thing I can think of for the actual image is a unicorn riding a motorcycle.

I feel like we can do better. Any ideas? If we use yours, we’ll send you a shirt IRL when they’re done. :smiley:

What’s the band name? That might help.

Let’s see… how about

One of these with a guitar that looks like one of those Star Trek emblems. Or

A dragon sitting on top of a giant castle breathing fire while Nazis and Stormtroopers shoot at it. With a full moon in the background.

Death and the 4 Horsemen doing a Beatles impression(1950’s era).

Skeleton Army armed with guitars instead of guns, fighting Zombie Army armed with machetes.

This infamous Whitesnake album cover (NSFW) but using Hello Kitty.

Three Wolf Moon surrounded with a double rainbow and butterflies, but rendered like this.

Two fairies kicking a cat.

You need a band of unicorns slaying a giant cyclops, who is on fire & crumbling into ash, which falls like snow onto a pool fed by the tears of a beautiful nymph, who wears an ornate woven-metal emblem over her forehead, held in place by chains through her hair.

Also a frog. Somewhere. Maybe a subliminal frog.

According to the Discworld calendar, I was born in the Year of the Subliminal Frog.

We have a winner. And what is the band called?

Umlauts. Even if your band name/language of band name doesn’t justify them – add some umlauts anyway!

Something like this, maybe?


It reminds me back in the 80s…in the halls at high school I saw someone wearing a new tour T-shirt with epic badass artwork and graphics. Flames, devils, chrome exhaust pipes, leather and studs, this shirt incorporated everything that was cool heavy metal of the time. I had never heard of the band before and rushed out to track down a cassette tape, sure that they were the second coming of Judas Priest, Def Leppard, Van Halen, and Iron Maiden combined…

The band?

Tears for Fears

I’m still pissed about that 7 bucks I spent.

I really don’t see why you need us. Unicorns are metal!

Of course I meant Ünicörns!

The symbol for the so-called new zodiac sign of Ophiuchus is pretty bad-ass in that 1980s heavy metal concert t-shirt kind of way.

You also gotta’ have some Nazi font in there somewhere.

Oh, that’s awesome!

That would imply that Pterry is a Brian Bolland fan. I wonder.

Sorry. I made that up to amuse myself.

Though it wouldn’t surprise me at all if Terry’s daughter Rhianna was into Bolland.

Perhaps the Four My-Little-Ponies of the Apocalypse might work.

I once saw a fey indie type at a festival wearing a t-shirt from the band Art Brut which reinterpreted the iconic Metallica Master Of Puppets t-shirt as “Master Of Pop Hits” but try as I might I can’t find an image of it anywhere.