Dear Dave,
Houdini’s dead. And he’s got a lot of other advantages over you.
I don’t know exactly, BUT it’s gotta have something to do with PIE 
doughnuts? really… :rolleyes:
You know, for something we all agree is stupid and nothing more than a pointlessly trumped-up media stunt, we sure are spending a hell of a lot of time obsessing about it.
AAAAAAAGH
hits head on desk
WACK-WACK-WACK-WACK
Hey David. Hold still while I kick you in the nuts.
WACK!
Cool, thanks.
DAVE! EVIL IS COMING SATURDAY NIGHT!
WATCH FOR THE BISCUIT CANNON FOOL!
(people might want to look at the thread in the BBQ pit about this)
Blau!-------------crunch!
people, as well as laser pointers, bring boxes of Fox’s Assorted. I need ammunition
I like what this guy did way more than DB’s latest (or any) “ooooh!” death-defying feat.
Hey, man, mind if I ask Fionna for a date?
It stopped being cool 10 minutes after the door closed
Ok, here is how my encounter with the radish in the box went:
All your suggestions were really, really funny. But I’m afraid that, being designed and manufactured under the influence of alcohol, our sign ended up being a lot less witty or withering. It was pretty big though. It simply said…
GET OUT
In large abrasive letters.
I know, I know – a wasted opportunity to enlighten David on the subjects of pie, 1920’s style “Death Rays” (sorry **steve[/b)]or biscuit cannons.
We had to get up really early. I had a bath. There was no food in my fridge. I took the train into London with curlybacon and a couple of other friends who think I’m a geek. We attempted to clear a carriage by use of the GET OUT sign, but failed.
You can get a lot closer to the box than I expected. When we first saw him he was sitting on the floor of the box looking at the sky and ignoring all the people trying to get his attention. There was a guy doing really lame juggling and some other guy dressed as the grim reaper, just standing and staring.
We made sure that we were in a prime position for him to see our sign, then we removed it from its protective coverings (a load of bin bags) and held it high, with pride in our hearts and hash browns in our stomachs.
Some woman in the crowd started yelling at us, saying that we should be supporting him. We asked why. She went away.
We held it up high for about a minute. Then he turned his head and stared at us. Stared really hard, for ages and ages and it started to get creepy. Then he shook his head really slowly.
Just as we were getting really weirded out by him, a massive security guard came and tapped us on the shoulders. He asked us to leave because were demoralising David, and ‘that kind of thing’ wasn’t what the great man himself needed to see. We told the guard it was a friendly sign. He told us to go.
Before we left we reversed the sign and showed David the back, which was conveniently covered in pictures of food. The security guard started advancing again so we packed up our sign and left.
How BORING! If you are going to hang around in a big box in a very public place, gazing meaningfully off into the distance, you can’t go complaining when people take the piss.
We hung onto the sign for the rest of the day, showing it cryptically to passers by and using it as a battering ram on the underground. Eventually we left it propped up in the girls’ loos in Top Shop
I’ll have some pictures later, including a great one of David Blaine looking smug.
Should have gone with:
“You ever get one of those really bad rectal itches…like a spider crawled up there and you got to dig it out? Or sweat runs down your crack and it just burns in your o-ring?”
Sit there with it and wait with the camera on zoom. Tabloid city by the next day.
“Blaine scratches ass…proves he still lives.”
If anyone is interested, here are some pictures of Blaine and of our sign.
Fizzy, you deserve some kind of award.
Perhaps this lady’s pride will suffice for the time being.
That article is brilliant!
Seems to me the best way to drive the Artist Formerly Known As… No, He’s Still Known As David Blaine would be to get a dozen or so people to set up Hibachis and grill up something deliciously aromatic, like Korean ribs.
Cervaise, somebody has already set up a burger van right underneath his box, to feed all the people throwing eggs. They fry onions constantly.
fizzygood, you make feel nice
I’m feeling Blaaaine, Blaaaaine, ohhh, it’s Blaaaine.
Blaines a pain
“Dark Tower” fans will know what I mean>:D
I’ve got a friend in England now, maybe I can ask her to harrass him… I may pass along a suggestion or two from this thread if so.