What would I say?

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
21

“‘Presidential Protection’ Achievement Unlocked! after the Taki Inoue school of driving”

“True, I used to love F1 but a mad panic this morning as my mobile phone on the movie scene that was it!”
I don’t want to talk about it.

“Good = Ringside seats for you?”

“Usually not a bit rough…”

“Sure, but am I used to the bone?”

“Sure, but I’d probably for you?”
I would, I really really would, but don’t tell anyone else about it.
“I’m a nonessential event, generic, smallscale and unambitious, very disappointing an absolute waste of XP gained.”
That’s a bit harsh…
“Not sure, the £24 billion on a little unfair on contract, using pay as you go for a phone on it, and in not killing me!”

“The screen has texted I’m not ignoring you, I felt like cheering…”
Well this made me feel a bit better, and definite thanks on the not killing me bit.

22

“I noticed that Big Foot had TWO LEFT FEET!!”

But this one is very much spooky weird like how in the hell did this come up…
“Logan H…and Vicki and Rodney are their ignorance and blind wand”

weird because SO and I HAVE NEVER posted or discussed Vicki and Rodney (SO’s brother and brothers wife) and we do not have friends or family from his side of the family on FB.

23

That is alarming, someone is sabotaging human soup!

24

That is awesome!

Mine are mostly gibberish, but I rather like this one, smilie included:
I have been the sushi; I got a homeless elderly man. :wink:

And I’m pretty sure I actually did post this once, word for word:
DAVE ATE SQUASH!

And the optimist’s status update (no, I don’t think I’ve ever posted this):
I have been much worse. #countingblessings

It’s the war on chocolate:
Nestle, Mars and Hershey’s all have lists of battle leaders…

25

Snow day tomorrow! I was going to kill people.

Freaking out a dead squirrel on the ground, roll down hills, and swordfight?

I hope this means I’ll get her flowers that can brag about it

The other chickens bullied her so freaking complicated?!!! In Duergar?

It’s very mild, rather than fluffy and courageous.

Just today, I think about how much happens when I go Triangle Guy!

Because badgers are overpriced novelty shoes, but they don’t let on that.

They don’t let me go lift 50 lbs, in there for the small, blind albino horses that the woman who was there, and keep forgetting to be me.

26

Thank goodness for snow days.

I like to think these three are related:

[ul]
[li]“Going to do a lot more hammering than I am.”[/li][li]“I think I had to smell the stabby bit?”[/li][li]“Feels dirty, doesn’t it? Dirty yet exhilarating.”[/li][/ul]

27

As for passing the weapon of choice when they told them, “Now draw some holiday themed ones at Aldi!”

If you do any PC gaming, you’ll want to consume mother mudbugs.

Taylor Swift adorns the weapon of time to thirty gallons. Jesus replied. “My hour has not yet come.” His mother could enjoy a story of the $5 bottle of Ripple?

Dinner tonight brought to kill a manager at the Vic last night seeing Metric perform.

And I got a jacket like the one of God. Not at all rare but pretty cool

(I don’t really discuss religion much on Facebook but I don’t post much on FB to begin with so some of the phrases seem to take outsized roles)

28

Some more of mine:

“More infomercials should feature kids being eaten by former Queen guitarist Brian May.”

“Halfway between stats and shit.”

“Truth is stranger than schizophrenia.”

“Yes, I know I’m not an oncoming train.”

“Christmas in matrix hell.”

“Test your head, stay calm & breathe through chaos.”

“Apparently Beowulf describes a second year med student?”

“I’ve always said that I’ll drink anything, but it’s nice to this week.”

“Cluster detection for the damned.”

“Code that runs overnight? I think we can honestly say I was mistaken.”

“Interesting talk by Robert Sedgewick on the differences between stats and thoughtless English professors contemplating adultery.”

“I think we hardly held a monopoly on drawing penises on things.”

“Can your prurient interests improve your security online?”

“Right now Bayesian methods are limited to those of Texas.”

29

“Thankful I’m a real head sweater.”

“Nothing like a house by a genuine Berkeley stoner.”

“Supermoon is Larry David touring as Jimmy Buffett.”

30

“Officially done with their pants down and salsa made fresh.”
Uh, I don’t know about you but I don’t want to eat that salsa.

31

He was really not spiced on a pooper scooper with the Carolina Ballet.

AP is crazy chocolate from Alan Cumming’s intro to be.

Had a piano teacher!

Harry would like the Women’s size 7 or reduced lunch.

It looks like we’ve apparently allowed too much NASCAR exposure.

Harry took the Volvo; it’s Swedish and going out.

I’m pretty well, but I think it’s a little picture making Baileys Chocolate Chip minicheesecakes.

This bus driver is driving the career possibilities.

32

Ok last one:

“the Dutch have yet again proven how awesome they have been crappy.”

33

painfree while you’re pregnant. I have 18 surplus pompoms.

34

“There’s also, ‘come quick - you might learn something unsavory.’”

35

“Unless you know anything, please email Greg at least.”

36

Some of these had me in tears:

“No idea what possesses a cat deciding to get an expectorant and bourbon. And hit a target.”
“Well, I don’t fall in half. That’s what.”
“Who peed in the BIBLE!!! One crazy byotch.”
“First of the alcohol.”

Funny stuff. Sounds nothing like me even though I recognize many parts of posts I’ve made.

37

“I think they also don’t let you guys.”

I don’t know who they is.