Well, probably not “Too cool not to seduce Albert Einstein?”.
What Would I Say is a random text generator based on your comments on Facebook which is remarkably good at producing gibberish and occasional pithy quotes in your voice. There’s no database or communication with a server, so you don’t have to worry about all of your embarrassing text being stored anywhere (besides Facebook).
In closing, “With apologies to Beetlejuice, I’ve seen it all.”
I think I must be a very confusing person.
“This is a real estate and I don’t remember anything else”
Although I’ve probably really said this at some point.
“Yes, well I don’t know why we’re friends.”
There’s a hack fantasy novel in here somewhere.
“I didn’t get a culture and heritage with the hooded figures in whatever I’m cooking.”
And what should probably be my motto.
“I didn’t even say one rude anti-religious comment”
Somehow, I only get a ‘this webpage is unavailable’-error, even though http://downforeveryoneorjustme.com/ claims it’s up…
I apparently would say such things as
“I just got to be in the house. Thanks, cat!”
and
“Better use the second largest palace in a while breathing is so bipolar! Just so many people.”
also
“Good article about those cause autism, herp de der.”
Sometimes I wonder about myself.
“So now there’s a little research suggests that they are Midland Brown Snakes. Screw this, I’d support it…”
“That was one order they managed to the provisions for”
“Worked for the day Tiger Direct is that she vote against the bill. It through the House and attach it to the streets of an Irish hamlet, simple yet not at all rare but pretty cool for” — 
“What an implant drilled into your pediatrician.” — :eek:
“Thanks to all the sales tax dollars on his disciples had also been invited to the $5 bottle of the way provided I fully endorsed Reid and I got pushpolled today on it, they disagree that a car runningovers in the short grass of chocolate wine was gone, Jesus’ mother of an Irish hamlet, simple yet intriguing in transport.” – Well, now I just sound like a someone forum spamming ESO business links from India.
“Copy this and the remaining 1% are you trying to tell me of possible fraud. Thanks for looking out for rent, 5 year lease, no takesiesbacksies.”
“There’s a 2, 4, and 3.14159 is 4 days, we’ll see if I could say something or something?”
eta: “There’s a plot to make sure the Buckeyes win. Yes. Also, wheels.”
This is great.
“On the terrible violence of elephants as injuries go, at least.”
“I think it’s safe to suffer very, very badly.” :eek:
“Everybody knows that orange soda expired two years ago.”
“Just continuing my tradition of the long and slippery for burritos!” :dubious:
“I think I am.”
“To everyone’s surprise, including mine, I managed to hit by a bus.”
This says a lot about your relationship with your cat.
And yours says a lot about what you will do for burritos! :eek:
“It doesn’t look at your mouth strengthens your pajamas while holding him to get ahold of the polls closed today.”
Finally, a website that gets me.
“If you want something else, too bad.”
Perfect.
“And there would be chilling in a nap, a screenshot.”
“got momentarily panicky while drinking. Sarah Palin has resigned the bathroom wall.”
“shakes his fist in velcro straps”
“No one will be living vicariously through himself.”
I think I should become a poet.
“The one of your own with ‘Higgs boson blues’!”
“One day, I’ll find a way to see I’m afraid my funnest night.”
“And it home, but I’m afraid my soul took a different train and is one of your own with the car last night, but at night staring stiff at the two big bright shiny things quickly getting all physics nerd with actual people once in the new album, Nick’s getting bigger just isn’t an evolutionarily sound survival strategy.”
“L. Mencken Those times in a stretch of country road, some point you’ll truly have to wait for that, though, but hey, such are the fruits of my funnest night.”
That’s me, dead on…
ETA: “One day, I’ll find a little thought, you kill yourself.” :eek:
“The hospice folks have been so good about keeping me up to date on her condition and chortled.”
I did suspect those hospice chortlers.
I have to find a way to work ‘but hey, such are the fruits of my funnest night’ into a conversation, it’s better than anything I ever actually said…
Ants On A kid. Love you! – I must not like the kid much, though.
Thanks for six months and never see a swing state but I’ll be damned if they’re four times more deadly! – Astute political commentary
The wings broke off our Christmas tree and his mom totally saying Whatever, Son of health care reform, I’ll carry insurance. Doesn’t apply if you do any PC gaming – Tough love from the maternal Christmas tree. She’s willing to pay the doctor’s bill for his broken wings but only if he gives up video games.
Nice job at the warehouse location is semilocal to me. – I should probably take the job then.
Taylor Swift adorns the Son of God, but I’m the same thing would have – Get ready for a chart-topping song about how Jesus got in Ms. Swift’s pants and then broke her heart.
“The cat is trying desperately to lose interest, but I wish I did, so convenient.”
That about sums it up.
“Gah, I hate it used there.”
And the best one ever- “My parents are actually wolves in sheeps’ clothing…”
Can you blame me? Burritos are burritos.
This one is a little bit more than alarming:
“Just continuing my tradition of ordering the front of course, the human soup. Which then exploded.”
It’s an insidious tool that can get to see Les Mis at the microphone, they pressed record and crafts festival?
“It would have been funnier if he had so much energy this morning that bringing your girlfriend a beautiful person who is the need to get the main leak across the street. which shows a watched cell phone never underestimate the happiness that women spend their time making up pretend colours to get the day when on vacation/average number of toenails he had a $17 margarita with lunch.” – LeahcimBot