What WOULD Jesus Drive?

I observed the media coverage of the What Would Jesus Drive? campaign with a chuckle, but never reflected on the question. Rather than regarding it as rhetorical (connecting morality with environmentalism), what if we take the question “seriously”? What WOULD Jesus drive?

I’ll start.

I don’t know Jesus personally, but I could picture him cruising with the apostles in one of these

I’m thinking something like this, with room for all the apostles!


My favorite:

“For I did not speak of my own Accord…” - John 12:49

A Christler.

A 1948 Buick with mud flaps and a chrome duck on the hood.

Trust me on this one.

He looks like the rugged outdoors type. He’d drive a Jeep Wrangler like me.

THIS is what Jesus would drive. Except he’d switch over to Chevy!

Hmm. I’m thinking one of those old 3 speed English-style bikes made in India with rod-brakes and fenders and a cafe lock. Mixte “girl’s” frame, for the robes and what-not. I question whether Jesus would drive a car much, especially for short trips to the grocery store and Post office.

Well, being that he was a carpenter, it is a safe bet to say that Jesus would drive a pickup truck. Something along the lines of a Chevy Silverado, Ford F150 or Dodge Ram.

*Originally posted by Ethilrist *

I’m not sure who Viola is but I’d imagine she appreciates your sentiment.

I’m sure there must be a number of guys named “Jesus” in Hispanic areas driving lowrider Chevy Impalas. Is this what you mean?

I keep telling everyone. Jesus would not drive. His disciples do all the driving and if we follow the New Testament, Jesus rides only on donated vehicles.

…with a bumper sticker that reads: “Carpenter Union Local 1”

I envision something like this. But maybe with graffiti.

A Honda. But he didn’t own it: “For I come not of my own Accord, but of my Father’s.”

Specifically, the Christler JehoVan.

What would SATAN Drive?
He drives a BIG RED FULL SIZE DODGE RAM CHARGER always 5 feet off your bumper so that all you can see is his headlights and that damn Ram. No matter how fast you drive, always five feet. I know… I have seen him.

Satan’s wife drives a Red Chrysler Minivan with a cup of coffee in her hand. Honking the horn, yelling, tailgating, swearing, running stop signs and trying to run over anyone slower than she all while talking on the phone. I know… I have seen her.

Mephistopheles’ parents drive a BIG ASS Black Lincoln Continental (sometimes a Cadillac). They can only drive 5 miles an hour under the speed limit and won’t get the Hell outta the way. They wait until the light turns yellow before they slowly proceed through the intersection. They hide and wait until you are late for something and then get in front of you. I know… they live down the street from me.

Satan’s unemployed brother drives a beat-up piece of shit, no muffler, untuned, smog-belching, piled with crap in the back, rusted out station wagon of unknown origin. He stops at all gar(b)age sales with the Devil’s SIL tagging along. Heaven forbid you want to go somewhere and he is in front. I know… I have followed.

The Dark Lord’s children all drive sports cars of various makes, but interestingly enough they all are red, and have DAMN LOUD stereos with BASS BOOST. They have no concept of the rules of the road and can only drive 15 miles over the posted limit. And TURN SIGNALS??? Fuhgeddaboutit. As their Father is in good standing with the law enforcement community, no tickets are EVER issued. I know… I have had to jump out of the way.

Not sure what Jesus drives though…I never see his kind around.

Funny, who created all these people that drive all these hideous vehicles?

And what do the religious leaders of the land drive?
Uh-oh. Wrong thread!
Hmmm…what would Jesus drive? What do whacky pcychics and charletons drive nowadays?

Darn…wrong thread!

A Plymouth:

And God drove Adam and Eve out of Paradise in a fury.