What would SATAN Drive?
He drives a BIG RED FULL SIZE DODGE RAM CHARGER always 5 feet off your bumper so that all you can see is his headlights and that damn Ram. No matter how fast you drive, always five feet. I know… I have seen him.
Satan’s wife drives a Red Chrysler Minivan with a cup of coffee in her hand. Honking the horn, yelling, tailgating, swearing, running stop signs and trying to run over anyone slower than she all while talking on the phone. I know… I have seen her.
Mephistopheles’ parents drive a BIG ASS Black Lincoln Continental (sometimes a Cadillac). They can only drive 5 miles an hour under the speed limit and won’t get the Hell outta the way. They wait until the light turns yellow before they slowly proceed through the intersection. They hide and wait until you are late for something and then get in front of you. I know… they live down the street from me.
Satan’s unemployed brother drives a beat-up piece of shit, no muffler, untuned, smog-belching, piled with crap in the back, rusted out station wagon of unknown origin. He stops at all gar(b)age sales with the Devil’s SIL tagging along. Heaven forbid you want to go somewhere and he is in front. I know… I have followed.
The Dark Lord’s children all drive sports cars of various makes, but interestingly enough they all are red, and have DAMN LOUD stereos with BASS BOOST. They have no concept of the rules of the road and can only drive 15 miles over the posted limit. And TURN SIGNALS??? Fuhgeddaboutit. As their Father is in good standing with the law enforcement community, no tickets are EVER issued. I know… I have had to jump out of the way.
Not sure what Jesus drives though…I never see his kind around.