What Would the 2-Fisted Fightin' Jesus Drive?

The church tank! Not sure if its a good thing or not that its only a CGI rendering.

Not sure exactly what to make of that, artistically speaking.

I mean I get the historical connection between the church and war and all but…doesn’t a tank sort of understate the relationship a bit?

He would drive Republicans into a herd of swine and then into the sea.

Not quite what leapt to mind from the thread title. I pictured Jesus in a fedora, hanging out the window of a big round-bodied old Ford, blazing twin .45s in his mitts. Maybe a 50s model Ford, as Jesus fights agents of Communism for J. Edgar Hoover!

Jesus wouldn’t even give J. Edgar a reacharound.

Can we put more of a minaret thingy on top of Church Tank? It could serve as effective camouflage in Muslim areas, especially with a muezzin sample blaring out the top. Then when the faithful assemble, you lay the Good News on 'em.

The Popemobile

Jesus drove a Honda, but he didn’t like to talk about it.

“I did not speak of my own accord.” (John 12:49, NIV)

Jesus owned a Plymouth. He drove the moneychangers from the Temple in a Fury.

It looks like something from Warhammer 40k.

The Apostles carpooled.

“And they were all with one Accord”.

You may laugh now, but when the Vampire Army invades, our brave boys in their Church tanks are going to be all that stands between us and total defeat.