Lets be honest, how many of us found this board either because we were in the process of committing crimes or having crimes committed against us?
“raises hand”
As far as the stalker issue, the fact that after being told to stop he laughs at her shows he isn’t really socially inept IMO, more subtly malicious and someone who enjoys the sense of power over another person. So any attempt to address the issue would have to address that fact. An inept one you can probably just confront and tell that they are making you uncomfortable.
I think she should ask him out on a date, then have her arm-wrestling champion/bodybuilder/navy seal brother show up. Sunday afternoon at IHOP will never have been so interesting.
There’s a guy who’s famous for doing this in the streets of NYC, but with bird noises. I don’t get a tweet - I guess I’m not his type.
Go through the friend. Be nice, though. Don’t badger him about it, but ask him gently but firmly about his friend. Is he ill? Does he realize what he’s doing isn’t socially acceptable? After you’ve gathered this information, thank him and say, “I’m sure the cops will love having this information.” Smile and walk away with a skip in your step. That way the friend feels guilty and may be proactive. He doesn’t want to be the reason why his “friend” got pinched.
It works on one of our dogs - a spritz from a water bottle (or from the Super Soaker, if he’s on the far side of the lawn) lets him know that he’s doing something he shouldn’t and that it’s time to stop.
The police say that whistling is not illegal. That’s true, but harassment is.
In New York State, “A person is guilty of harassment in the second degree when, with intent to harass, annoy or alarm another person: . . . He or she engages in a course of conduct or repeatedly commits acts which alarm or seriously annoy such other person and which serve no legitimate purpose.” (See here; scroll down to Sec. 240.26.) Seems to fit the situation here to a T. I don’t know where you are, but I would be surprised if your state’s criminal law did not have a similar provision.
Could your neighbor consult an attorney to find out how to go about getting a restraining order?
Any response at all (restraining order, whistling back, siccing a boyfriend on him, etc.) is likely to cause him to escalate if he’s actually dangerous. Having pepper spray ready (or a handgun, preferably) and then ignoring him is probably the best approach.
Wait a sec…whistling back is a bad idea because he might potentially be dangerous, but a handgun is a good approach?
Okay, maybe if he’s coming at you with intent to harm. But right now he still seems to be well in the “harmless albeit highly annoying and scary” category. I can’t see how a gun could possibly make this problem any better (and I’m not an anti-gun type by any means).
Maybe I’m slightly different but if whistling back at him causes him to escalate to really illegal behavior then I win. Now I can do something about him. Specially with that handgun.
A handgun is not something you use unless you have to kill someone, because they’re trying to kill you. Prepare to defend yourself, but don’t provoke the dirtbag to escalate.
Everything DeBecker says in his book, and what I’ve seen of dangerous nutjobs in my life is to do the above: prepare, and don’t escalate. DeBecker is always focused on avoiding danger where possible, but being ready to meet it if it happens.
See, I think I’d go to the apartment manager and demand to be let out of my lease because living conditions are “unteneble.” I am moving out, and it’s because of whistlestalker. Sometimes larger apartment complexes have security/rent-a-cops. If that was the case, I’d be making regular reports to them. I would report to my apartment manager that I don’t feel safe because of whistlestalker and that should be grounds for letting me break my lease and I’ll be out at the end of the month. Presto! No longer my problem.
It seems to be the kind of insignificant annoying thing that just makes your blood boil. Like a sibling holding your arms back and blowing air in your face.
The fact that it’s some stranger doing this does make it a little more sinister though.
