What would you do in this situation? (Stalker-related)

I’m not thinking police (well, not directly). Like I said… restraining order. Although much more difficult to get without knowing his name.

The thing is… whistling is not illegal. Thus the police are not able to do anything. BUT if your friend can convince a judge that this guy is doing this to harass her, she can possibly obtain a restraining order. Violating a restraining order IS illegal, which gives the police more options. Like surrounding the place, grabbing the guy, and throwing him in jail for violating the order. Plus, multiple documented incidents of the violation of the restraining order might constitute stalking (law/jurisdiction dependent)… heck it might even be a felony.

So again… she needs to call the police constantly so eventually they will stop the guy and at least get his name and information. She needs to document every instance (like in a journal), noting any police report/incident numbers. Then she needs to go down to the courthouse and plead her case with a judge, especially mentioning that she is scared of this guy.

Did anyone stop to think that the OP could be the whistler and he’s using this forum to preempt the actions of ‘the girl he has never talked to’?

Could be. Of course ol’ Idle’s been here for long enough to get the benefit of a doubt. And when all her plans to stop him are thwarted, she will google it and find this thread. Boom! Another poster, just like that…

How would he get her to read the thread so she feel helpless after seeing all logical actions dismissed out of hand?

My suggestion would be either to pursue legal options or to do as little as possible to show you’ve noticed he is there.

So far he’s had plenty of reinforcement to know he’s having an effect. My impression would be thats whats motivating him, given he is actively coming back after attempts have been made to apprehend him. The game is that he isnt being caught or stopped, so if that game is ceased, theres a fair chance he’ll get bored eventually.

Also talk to the original woman/women being stalked if possible, she/they might have some idea about what caused him to give up with her if its looked at in detail. Looking at stalking expertise related services if there are any in your area would also be worthwhile, a private detective who tracks him down could make things a bit more equal.

Theres a risk that he will escalate with some of these things, but that risk is present anyway. I suspect he would have by now if that was going to happen.

Finally, theres the option to move. Never a choice you want to make, but it sometimes has to be considered if the effects are strong enough and the other options fail.

Otara

I think it’s likely. There’s a person who lives near me who I thought of instantly when I read the OP. He has a distinctive whistle which he does all the time and is extremely socially inept.

He probably finds the ladies attractive and wants them to know but it’s his only way of showing it.

I don’t know how to deal with the situation but if he’s like the guy near me then he’s probably harmless and doesn’t mean to scare the ladies.

Perhaps if you can find where he lives then there may be a carer who lives with him who may be able to explain to him that he shouldn’t do this?

Sorry, my name’s not FreakFreely. : p
Also, I have a girlfriend already.

Thank you, everyone, for your suggestions and advice. I like the suggestion of going through his friend the best, I honestly don’t know if that’s ever been tried but it seems like the most likely to yield results. I might put that in as a suggestion to the office, although as I’ve said, I don’t even know or talk to the girl/neighbor who it’s happening to so it’s really none of my business. I was just wondering how others would go about handling it if it was done to them.

But I will say this…someday he’s going to start doing that to the wrong person and when he does, I don’t think it will be pretty.

Apparently, that ain’t you.

I’d open the door and say to my doberman, two german shepherd, giant schnauzer and standard poodle, “Kill the bad thing!”. It’s what I do any night I hear unusual noises outside my house.

StG

It’s none of my business, for one.
For two, as numerous people have pointed out in here, he doesn’t strike me as much of an actual dangerous threat.
For three, what can I do that hasn’t already been done? I already said I’d suggest to the office about talking to the friend. I can’t do much else outside of that.

As I said, I was just curious if anything could ever be done and, if so, what people would do.

I’d probably just whistle back at him. He really doesn’t sound dangerous, just anoying.

Dressed in black, I’d lay in wait. With a garden hose. When he whistled, I’d douse him with the hose, like an alley cat. Don’t care if I had to enlist the help of some mates, or if it took more than once. I reckon I know some people who’d be into it.

I think you need to talk to the girl that’s being targeted and share with her what you know about this guy; that he’s done this to two other past residents and what actions they took. It might help her to know that she isn’t the first person to be bugged by this guy.

Once you’ve talked to her, I think you, her, and others in the building need to make a combined effort to get the guy to stop, as it sounds like he’s pretty much annoying everyone. I’d start with the guy’s friend who lives in your building. Write a letter to your building manager that everyone can sign and give a copy to whistler’s friend. Let friend know that you will all continue to complain to the management about his guest until he stops.

Other than that, I would try to find out as much as possible about the whistler. Try to find a pattern in when he comes by. Maybe the route is between his home and work or some other location he frequents like a gym or bar. Have someone stake out your place in a car and then call him/her if you hear the whistling and then they can follow the guy to see where he goes. If you can find out where the guy lives, then some of the power shifts away from him.

She already knows. I’ve heard her and other neighbors talking outside about it and they’ve told her (the ones here before when he was doing it to the others).

Drench him with pepper spray before calling the police, and he wont be going anywhere before the police arrive. Get the big “riot control” can.

Water? YOu gotta be kidding! That is funny.

(Stick with the big can of pepper spray)

I think they should all start whistling right back at him. Each and every one of them. Make it into a game.

Either that, or record the whistling and play it back when he’s around.

Document everything. Get pictures if you can. Get audio recording if you can. Send the whole pile of evidence to the police. Proceed from there with a restraining order.

Hurting people when they aren’t hurting you is generally frowned upon in our culture.

As I always want to say: if you’re so worried that the guy is dangerous, why go out of your way to make him mad? Do you really think having him removed by police would stop him?

I’m just saying, nothing like getting unexpectedly doused with a bucket of cold water, a couple of few times, to make a stalker seek out some other victim.

He’s be surprised, cold, wet, and unlikely to return, in my opinion.